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Deeman3
02-02-2006, 01:19 PM
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?



My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.


This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.


The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank

and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

supergreenman
02-02-2006, 02:52 PM
Reply to El Presidente from your neighbors, we'll be pulling out of Afganistan, sort that mess out yourself. As for Iraq, why would we support you in your greedy quest to shore up oil reserves for your energy addicted nation.

In addition, our border is now closed of the following exports to your country:
-fresh water
-oil
-natural gas
-forest products
-wheat
-barley
-maple for your pool cues
-other good too numorous to mention. besides the chinese are willing to pay us in euros which are worth more than the dirty old greenback.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Deeman3
02-02-2006, 03:16 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote supergreenman:</font><hr> Reply to El Presidente from your neighbors, we'll be pulling out of Afganistan, sort that mess out yourself. <font color="blue"> You don't support us in Afganisten, that's just the point. </font color> As for Iraq, why would we support you in your greedy quest to shore up oil reserves for your energy addicted nation.

In addition, our border is now closed of the following exports to your country:
-fresh water
-oil
-natural gas
-forest products
-wheat
-barley
-maple for your pool cues
-other good too numorous to mention. besides the chinese are willing to pay us in euros which are worth more than the dirty old greenback. <font color="blue"> Yes, getting cut off by Canada would really impact us. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif</font color>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif <hr /></blockquote>

Hey, don't take this too seriously, as I just copied it. I don't say it would be a gfood idea.....except for the parts involving Canada. JK

SnakebyteXX
02-02-2006, 03:45 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr> Yes, getting cut off by Canada would really impact us. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif</font color>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif <hr /></blockquote>



It just might:

[ QUOTE ]
The largest trading partner of the United States is Canada (19%), followed by China (12%), Mexico (11%), and Japan (8%). More than 50% of total trade is with these four countries. <hr /></blockquote>

web page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USA)

supergreenman
02-02-2006, 03:54 PM
Better Check again, we have a few thousand troops in afganistan. And it's all cool, we canucks can take a joke, look at who we just elected if you don't believe it.

James

wolfdancer
02-02-2006, 03:56 PM
It would be great to hear that message....to the ordinary citizen, to the soldiers and families of soldiers.....but maybe not to some huge corporations, that are making vast profits from the war. I read an article recently about the companies that made huge profits in WWII
I guess war is big business.....
Our troubles though wouldn't be over....we have promised to rebuild Irag, thier roadways,water, power,sewerage, schools, hospitals, etc...to provide modern healthcare to it's citizens(?)
And this will all be financed through our tax cuts??? Well, If Christ can feed 5000 Faithful Jews from one basket of food....who knows what our President can accomplish?
Actually, the big cut in education,the abandonment of crumbling infrastructure repairs and upgrades, the planned revisions in SS, and Medicare, and social services may help a bit.
If a College student was planning on entering these fields upon graduation....they should consider studying languages of the middle east.....there will be no jobs in those sectors here.
And after we do all this for the Iraq....will they be our friends???? According to Pat Buchannan....the President is convinced that the democratic election process will result in the good guys being elected over there....In reality though....look at what it got us???????

wolfdancer
02-02-2006, 05:31 PM
I'm thinking...my pool is so bad
maybe i'll take up curling. how hard can that be???

wolfdancer
02-02-2006, 05:55 PM
web page (http://www.coutant.org/kaltenbo.mp3)

hope this satisfies you until the......
His opening line was "Ah, there's good news tonite"
And here's some good news that i uncovered, on Craigslist:
This war may be a bargain.....a "bluelight special"


Critics of the war in Iraq often complain about the “escalating cost of the war.” Listening to them, you’d never know that the war is one of the least expensive in American history.

Robert Whaples, professor of economics at Wake Forest University, has measured the cost of each major American war up through the first Gulf War. We took these costs and compared them to the cost of the Iraq war and found that the Iraq experience has consumed a smaller percentage of GDP (just 2 percent of one year’s wealth creation) than every other American war except the first Gulf War (which measured just 1 percent of GDP).

This stands in stark contrast to the Vietnam experience, which opponents have often attempted to liken to the Iraq war. Vietnam comprised a much heartier 12 percent of GDP at the time. Other conflicts, such as World War II, took a remarkable 130 percent of a year’s GDP to see through to success.

The work is not done in Iraq, and the financial costs will grow beyond the $251 billion we have spent so far. The real cost, of course, is in human lives, manifested in the debate about whether it is worth losing a few thousand American lives in order to liberate 23 million people. But the data are clear; any attempt to discredit this war based on its effect on the U.S. economy is an unnecessary distraction.

"I didn't know that"

Barbara
02-02-2006, 08:21 PM
Works for me.

Barbara~~~Deeman is on my "Nuts list"!!

Qtec
02-02-2006, 10:39 PM
If OPEC decided tommorow that oil can only be bought with Euro's instead of dollars, the US economy would colapse.
Without the cheap labour from Mexico, the US would come to a halt.
The Iraqi 'regime' was defeated in a week and you still havent killed all the terrorists? What you need is more troops but that of course would mean the draft and that wouldnt help with winning an election. Thats whats REALLY important.

[ QUOTE ]
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. <font color="blue"> The US has backed up fascist rightwing regimes all over the world because they were paranoid about the threat of communism. Niether Vietnam or Iraq was about 'helping' the people. In Vietnam, 20% of the country was sprayed with toxic chemicals and there were more bombs dropped than in the entire 2nd WW. People today still step on mines which were left by both sides.</font color> It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. <font color="blue"> You could do that now. </font color> It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. <hr /></blockquote> <font color="blue"> Soccer is the world's BIGGEST sport. Get used to it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif </font color>

Q /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

eg8r
02-03-2006, 04:00 AM
Wow, that is pretty interesting. Sadly though, too many people in America have no idea what GDP is and surely they would never be able to comprehend an expense as a percentage of GDP. This is the true measure of cost and the media does a great job of ignoring it. They like to through out the raw number and scare people when that number (while way too large) is not as huge when looking at the big picture.

eg8r

eg8r
02-03-2006, 04:02 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Actually, the big cut in education,the abandonment of crumbling infrastructure repairs and upgrades, the planned revisions in SS, and Medicare, and social services may help a bit. <hr /></blockquote> What big cut in education? Bush has yet to "cut" any spending. He may have reduced the amount of the increase, but that is certainly not a cut in spending.

eg8r

eg8r
02-03-2006, 04:09 AM
[ QUOTE ]
Better Check again, we have a few thousand troops in afganistan. And it's all cool, we canucks can take a joke, look at who we just elected if you don't believe it. <hr /></blockquote> Don't worry, the rest of the world seems to be thinking along the same lines. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif England, Germany, Australia, etc. The "left" across the globe has not been very successful in recent past elections.

eg8r

Chopstick
02-03-2006, 05:20 AM
Yeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! DEEMAN FOR PRESIDENT!!

<font color="blue"> Hey Eg, ya want the VP job. </font color>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

eg8r
02-03-2006, 06:04 AM
LOL, no sir. I don't need that type of pressure. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Could you imagine having to listen to Gayle's "assessment" of your success and Q demanding you sign the Kyoto Treaty. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

eg8r

Gayle in MD
02-03-2006, 06:50 AM
Jack,
I agree with Pat Buchannon, and certainly recent elections in the middle east have told the story of what the results of George Bush's unrealistic dream of spreading democracy will look like in that part of the world. They just go to the polls and vote the tyrants into office.

Is it just me, or did you find Bush's State Of The Union speech particularly offensive, even for George Bush. How can a man who is in bed with the oil companies, have the nerve to get up there and say "Americans are addicted to oil" in the same year that Cheney, also in bed with oil CEO's, holds secret meetings with oil executives, which are gouging Americans in the midst of War, and dealing with the aftermath of the worst natural disaster in our history. These two men have made millions on oil, is anyone dumb enough to believe that George Bush gives a damn about what we are paying for oil and gas? I nearly threw up when he said that.

He was talking about how we need to encourage more scientist, etc., to address our energy problems, then yesterday, the Senate passed a bill, which Bush says he is for, and will sign, to change our immigration laws to encourage more visa's for people to come here and take over higher paying jobs here in this country. And this is the kicker, at the same time, they are going to raise the interest rates on college loans for American students.

I guess now that Bush has destroyed our educational system, he is going in for the kill. Do you suppose the reason he thinks Americans are too dumb to fill the slots in engineering and science is because he knows, if we were dumb enough to buy his BS and elect him, (I can't say re-elect, since he was not elected the first time, but stole the election in the true sense of the word,) we can't possibly be smart enough to fill engineering and scientific positions.

While millionaires are enjoying huge tax relief, medicare and medicaid funding is cut. Oil companies are enjoying huge tax relief, as middle class Americans see their jobs outsourced, their wages drop, and struggle to put gas in their tanks, while Bush makes life even cushier for millionairs and oil and pharmeceutical executives.

Pharmaceuticals, are reporting record profits, and huge tax relief, while Bush and company put a new prescription plan, D, into the fray, which by all accounts is a disaster for our senior citizens.

Bush wants Americans whose jobs have been outsourced, to go back to school for training, in technical fields, Americans can get all the training in the world, what good will it be when the wages will be lower than the job they lost, and he will be pulling in more immigrants to fill them, that is if there are any decent jobs left.

I am sick and tired of hearing about rebuilding Iraq, when New orleans is still ashambles, the hurricane season, five months away, and the levee system not even half rebuilt.

I must admit that I have not studied about global trade agreements, only through the new have I gotten any sense of what is happening, but I think it is safe to say, with our trade deficit growing to emergency levels, Greenspan's words, not mine, why is this president is allowing situations to continue which insure that we, as Americans, will be screwed you know where?

Trust me when I say, we are NOT winning this war in Iraq. Murtha, like him or not, is a hawk, devoted to the troops, career Marine, in close touch with not only the Generals on the ground, but he is at Walter Reed every week, talking to every single one that comes through there. We are losing the War in Iraq, it is not winnable. Murtha is right, and a man who deserves to be the man of the year for coming forward with the true facts, in spite of the personal attacks launched at him by the right.

Sorry, but I find it disgusting to listen to George Bush run his mouth about making America free from it's Addiction to foreign oil when the costs of this war could have been a great investment in cleaner, safer, more varried energy sources. And the costs of re-building Iraq, when our own deficit is through the roof, well, You know, whatever they tell us the costs will be, we can multiply that number by five, atleast, look at what they predicted the war in Iraq would cost.

Could someone please tell me what George Bush has against the middle class people in this country, and why he is making a concerted effort to neglect our safety, put us in a trick bag with China, and continue to risk the lives of our youth in the interest of Iraqi people, when nearly half of them say they want to kill Americans?

I wouldn't care which party was in power, beleive me, I would be outraged by the things that are going on in this country no matter who the president was, or which party was in power. Never in my adult life has this country been this devastated by the policies of a majority party. Bush never said the word, Katrina, or the word, middle class. He offered loads of rhetoric, and not one viable solution for how he thinks we will accomplish his cheery agenda. The right yaps about Democrats have no Solutions, hell, republicans have no solutions, they're the ones creating the problems in the first place.

"I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend."

Gayle in Md.

wolfdancer
02-03-2006, 07:29 AM
$160M

Deeman3
02-03-2006, 08:19 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Chopstick:</font><hr> Yeeeeaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! DEEMAN FOR PRESIDENT!!

<font color="blue"> Hey Eg, ya want the VP job. </font color>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif <hr /></blockquote>

<font color="blue"> Chopstick,

You think Gayle is on my case now, I would not want to be President and know what would be coing. LOL

Now, in all honesty, I do have to apoligise to my Canadian friends. I had no idea they had an Army. I thought they had like 41 Mounties and a Canucks (Whatever that may be!). I, understandably, just never saw a Canadian that I figured would fight outisde a hockey rink! You know, the NHL takes 45 or 50 bad asses out of Canada and you fingure there's just no one left for the military.

As for trade, I honestly have not been familiar with any Canadian products aside from Canadian Maple shifts, Molson and those girls across the Ambassador Bridge from Detroit.

It's true, Alberta has more oil than ten Saudi Arabias but they just will never drill for it. It's like getting a date with the high school party queen just as she decides to turn her life around.

So, keep your beer and overpriced cigarettes and all your little De Galle look alikes. You sell your pine tress to China and we'll buy our drugs from Columbia and our shoes from Mexico.

You can elect Dudley Doright for all we care. Amass your troops on the border and we'll send our Nascar guys to meet your Hockey fans, should be an interesting fight, for 10 or 15 minutes.

Next time, if you make a military committment send enough soldiers where at least someone will notice. The only military victory Canada ever had was burning down our capitol almost 200 years ago. Get serious. If you were not firmly planted just above the U.S. Five guys from Greenland in a trawler would have taken your country over years ago. The only shooters you have ever produced were Cliff Thornburg and a few dozen heroin addicts.

If ice dancing and equestrian were not an olympic events, even Europeans could not locate you on a map. All your journalists and comedians escape as soon as possible and get the good jobs here. The only Americans we send are draft dodgers and lost alien abduction victims.

Before you say too much about the sad state of the U.S. dollar, you might want to check the value of your tender, Aye? Try to pay your international debts with a Canadian dollar, heck, I can't even buy a coke with the change when I come back over from Jason's Church of the Crevase!

All kidding aside, I love our neighbors to the North and would miss them terribly if they were to fall victim to some unfortunate overthrow by Munchkins or something. [color]


Deeman

Barbara
02-03-2006, 08:30 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr> If ice dancing and equestrian were not an olympic events, even Europeans could not locate you on a map. <hr /></blockquote>

And let's not forget curling. Where would the Olympics be if it weren't for curling.

Barbara

Deeman3
02-03-2006, 08:36 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Barbara:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr> If ice dancing and equestrian were not an olympic events, even Europeans could not locate you on a map. <hr /></blockquote>

And let's not forget curling. Where would the Olympics be if it weren't for curling.

Barbara <hr /></blockquote>

<font color="blue"> Barbara,

LOL, It is indeed a sad occasion when you have to combine plastic, ice and brooms to entertain yourself. How did they ever come up with this? Can you imagine there are generations of curling fans who actually know what the game is about! </font color>

Deeman
I feel it now, the safety locks have now been removed from the Molson Missle silos..........

Deeman3
02-03-2006, 08:38 AM
Wolfdancer,

Nice balanced article. Are you turning left at the next light?JK

Deeman /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

wolfdancer
02-03-2006, 11:55 AM
http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/7790/nbs3tnqzliytxdvcqiblrlhmsgt05e.jpg

supergreenman
02-03-2006, 01:29 PM
It used to be the joke that we had more submarines in Landlocked Alberta than the Canadian Navy, but West Edmonoton Mall sold it's submarine amusement ride.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
James

P.S. now we have britians cast of submarines and they somehow keep catching fire.