View Full Version : Dog Diary/Cat Diary

03-02-2006, 05:24 PM
As seen in a dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

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As seen in a cat's diary:
Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get from clawing their furniture.

Tomorrow I will eat another houseplant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of
the stairs.

in an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair.

I must remember to try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear
in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat
I was. Hmmm, that did not work according to plan ...

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and how I may use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.

Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I have patience,

I can wait, it is only a matter of time.


03-02-2006, 05:55 PM
Definite proof that you have been to my house at one time or another!!!

03-03-2006, 06:25 AM
I don't have a dog, but Mrs. DG has a cat that I swear is trying to kill me.