View Full Version : Police Comments to their customers

03-03-2006, 06:24 PM
The following 15 Police Comments to their customers were reported over the years:

#15."Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14."If you take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13."If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12."Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11."So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10."Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don'! t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9."Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'! ll give you another ticket."

#8."The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7."Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy , and step in monkey DOO.

#6."Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5."No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#4."Just how big were those two beers?"

#3."In God we trust, all others we run through CCIC/NCIC.."

#2."I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.

And.................... THE BEST ONE!!!!!!!

#1"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.

web page (http://longmontpolice.com/City_Beat.htm)