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View Full Version : Scorpion gets crushed by player using broomstick!



Rip
07-03-2002, 12:05 PM
When: Last night
Where: Las Vegas, Nevada
Participants: Rip vs The Scorpion
That's right folks, I absolutely crushed the Scorpion last night and I did it using a broomstick. Yes, a real broomstick from my house! I'll admit the Scorpion did not put up much of a fight, thank goodness! In fact when I first approached him he seemed like he wanted to curl up his tail and run! I wasn't going to let that happen as I have a grudge against the Scorpion! There was very little woofing but I could tell he wanted to do something and it was just a matter of time until he committed to this long awaited confrontation. When I thought the time was right, I grabbed my broomstick, yep, a broomstick, and I proceeded to literally crush the Scorpion. The Scorpion never had a chance! I was ecstatic to say the least. It is now safe to go in my back yard and barbecue without having to worry about that pesky little critter ever again! I had walked outside to light the grill when I saw a scorpion walking along a planter in the back yard. I would have tossed a grenade at the &$&(%(& but I'm fresh out, so I whacked him with a broom, which my wife will never touch again, LOL. Then I went back in the house and played some pool. Yahoo, Rip

stickman
07-03-2002, 12:48 PM
Rip, I'm glad you didn't let him have a shot. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Vapros
07-03-2002, 12:57 PM
Rip, this is not going to help your reputation at all. It's well-known that scorpions generally hit the rail. Even a scorpion you've never seen before is entitled to the pink and the pop and the last four. Where is your sense of fair play?

Karatemom
07-03-2002, 01:09 PM
Hiya Rip! Glad to see that you came out the victor in that death defying match! Better look out though, now others might try to get a piece of you, LOL.

Heide ~ hates bugs, insects, spiders, and especially scorpions!!!!

Cueless Joey
07-03-2002, 01:20 PM
Poor Scorpion. Literally stroked to death.

Rod
07-03-2002, 02:17 PM
Um just curous Rip, did you use the conventional under hand stroke, or the dart method? BTW I got a Black Widow, no not the one that looked very charming and lovely, the black one with multiple legs. I used the over hand full five finger stab stroke. Being a little tight on the grip I missed the first try, but nailed it on the second.

~~~desert dwellers need to know this stuff?

9 Ball Girl
07-03-2002, 03:00 PM
Did you use an open or closed hand bridge? I hoped you stayed down and followed through. /ccboard/images/icons/laugh.gif

Rip
07-03-2002, 03:18 PM
I implemented a short pause at the top of a powerful but artistic slip-stroke, a hard tip, while listening to the latest tunes from Hoobastank. My stance was such that it prepared me for a super quick getaway jump, leap, and scream...just in case I missed the "shot". I wore oversized progressive lens glasses just in case I also encountered a spitting cobra, and I used an old t-shirt to wipe down the shaft of the broom, which was approximately 29 ounces with no taper and it was 60 inches long sith short bristles on one end. I did notice a slight elbow drop and I pulled up on the shot big time but that could be due to I'm right handed and left eye dominant and had a difficult time adjusting to the oversized shaft which required a hell of a long bridge. Our regular "bug guy" that visits monthly (until I fire his a$$ today) is a left handed communist transvestite gay activist on parole for illegal gambling and assorted RICO charges. The burgers were fat and juicy with mustard, ketchup and onion and my own secret rub, served on toasted buns. I relied on cold Coronas for the beverage and a plate of fruit and cheese was supplied by the neighbor who is a lesbian clothes designer currently working on a line of pool clothing that is guaranteed to add a ball to your game. Nike was the footwear for the evening to ensure the much needed traction.
I'd love to share more details but I have to go hit a few racks to be sure I didn't throw out my shoulder while whacking that blasted scorpion to smithereens!
Rip~~"The Scorpion Assassin"

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Rod:</font><hr> Um just curous Rip, did you use the conventional under hand stroke, or the dart method? BTW I got a Black Widow, no not the one that looked very charming and lovely, the black one with multiple legs. I used the over hand full five finger stab stroke. Being a little tight on the grip I missed the first try, but nailed it on the second.

~~~desert dwellers need to know this stuff? <hr></blockquote>

Rod
07-03-2002, 03:58 PM
Ah, ha ha ha ha!!! lol I forgot to pause /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Barbara
07-03-2002, 08:38 PM
LMAO!! LMAO!!

Down in the Dominican Republic there are tarantulas native to the island. Thank God I never came upon one in my folk's house but one of my Mom's friends did. Seems she got up at some ungodly hour in the morning (3/4 am) to go to the bathroom (this was in the friend's house), and when she turned on the light, she saw this black tarantula on the floor. Thinking quickly (and erroneously - this only works on flies and bees and wasps), she grabbed her hair spray can and proceeded to plaster the creature with hair spray. When she saw that it was literally stuck to the floor, she went back to bed, proud of her courage to take care of this situation herself and not wake her husband in this frightening crises.

When she woke up later and saw her hubby was in the kitchen, she told him of her battle hours before with the creature. Then he told her that didn't see the creature in the bathroom.

That's when Molly realized there was a very angry and sticky tarantula out there with a vendetta....

To this day my Mom and I get a laugh over the story.

Barbara~~~is not fond of small creatures with more appendages than she has...

Barbara
07-03-2002, 08:40 PM
...You're hair was still perfect....

(Werewolves Of London theme here)

Barbara~~~had to get that one in....

07-03-2002, 09:16 PM
Hey,Rip- I"ve got a humongous Wolf Spider in Iowa itching for a match...... Patti I

Rip
07-03-2002, 10:40 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Barbara:</font><hr> ...You're hair was still perfect....

(Werewolves Of London theme here)

Barbara~~~had to get that one in.... <hr></blockquote>

Well Barbara, you got me again! ROFLMAO!!
Rip~~aoooooooh (my werewolf sound stolen from Warren Zevon)

07-04-2002, 12:59 PM
Be careful Rip, the next one is going to want weight! LMAO

jjinfla
07-04-2002, 04:13 PM
Rip, Here's some good news and bad news:

Good news: One scorpion is dead.

Bad news: Scorpions always travel in pairs.

LOL Jake

Voodoo Daddy
07-04-2002, 08:46 PM
I wanna contract Rip to come to South Florida to get rid of Scorpions, Rattlers, Moccosins, Alligators and Brown Reclus Spiders...I got the name of his new business "Rip's All-Star Pest Removal"!!! His slogan; "Have Broom, will travel".


Voodoo

Chris Cass
07-04-2002, 09:47 PM
WOW,

Was that a one piece or a two piece broomstick? What kind of tip, Talisman? Did you clean it or let the oils of your hand seal the shaft? Glad your ok. We know it can get pretty dangerous barbecuing. LMAO Only thing out here is corn and mosquitous. Oh, and railbirds. LOL

Regards,

C.C.~~RIP', side kick and road manager.

9 Ball Girl
07-05-2002, 07:24 AM
Barbara,

What part of the Domincan Republic are you from? I'm first generation here but my family hails from Santo Domingo.

JimS
07-05-2002, 07:59 AM
Rip sure knows how to get EVERYBODY to read his posts! Could have a brilliant career writing headlines for Nat'l Enquirer.