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SPetty
03-25-2006, 07:16 PM
The Engineers
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blond lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement & announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blond? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length.

Bubba and Junior are currently doing government work supervising the reconstruction of those New Orleans Levees.
<hr /></blockquote>Towel Heads
Recently I heard a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term, so please note:

We all need to be more sensitive in our choice of words. I have been informed that the Islamic terrorists, who hate our guts and want to kill us, do not like to be called "Towel Heads" since the item they wear on their heads is not actually a towel, but in fact, a small folded sheet.

Therefore, from this point forward, please refer to them as "Little Sheet Heads". Thank you for your support and compliance on this delicate matter.
<hr /></blockquote>Bush, Bush, Dick!!!
The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy.
<hr /></blockquote>
http://www.snopes.com/politics/graphics/special.jpg

wolfdancer
03-25-2006, 10:44 PM
great jokes, thanks!

Sid_Vicious
03-26-2006, 01:50 AM
""Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."

You got that right...sid

dg-in-centralpa
03-26-2006, 07:11 AM
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man.That's interesting I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. "then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I Think I'll just wait for the police..."

DG