sack316
04-05-2006, 03:53 AM
not sure the direction this post will go... but it is almost 6 in the morning and I'm still up, so I preface with an apology for anything that doesn't make sense.
So anyway, back in the days of the "bad" Sack (the bad drinking times) as an up-and-comer I was a brutal and heartless on the table as they come. My stroke seemed to be there when it was needed. I could take over a league match anytime I wanted it seemed... and the same goes for money games. I played well and didn't feel bad if anyone's feelings got hurt. I had a certain aura about me, and that ultimate killer instict where I would easily exploit any weakness that I found. I'm not trying to brag about my past playing, or revel in some old glory... those weren't even my words. That was something just told to me these past few weeks by an old friend that knows my game well. I've worked hard to get back to being an almost decent player again (imo), but even when I'm on with my game that certain something isn't there.
When I am gambling, it's almost always seeming to be like a friendly game to me. I feel bad when I run away with it and I either shut down or offer some rediculous spot. I don't know why, but something inside me is subconciously keeping me from going for the throat. The other night I had a guy jawing to everyone. Now I can still set up matches well for people playing with my money, so thats what I did. I took a girl who's never gambled and set up the game and she won. I still know the game obviously (which I guess is why people have me determine races and spots for them still), but when I'm playing it it seems that drive isn't there. I played that same guy that was jawing (we is a friend, mind you) and jumped up on him quick and could have absolutely fleeced him--- but I wound up dumping.
I sometimes fool myself into thinking I'm setting them up for next time, but I know the reality is that something in me just won't let me go for it. Besides, I can't be setting them up when everyone already thinks I'm much better than I actually am (my old reputation precedes me I guess). I've got another buddy who I know needs at least the 8 from me, and now we're playing tight even up.
Don't mistake me, I am having a blast playing still and enjoy all the times I'm having. But I would like to be able to pull out the old me sometime and just throw down on the table. So what I guess I'm asking in all of this is how do you get that mental killer instinct back again once it's gone? I always thought I just had to get my stroke back and the rest would naturally fall into place, but now I'm starting to see there is something in my brain not clicking right, and now I'm afraid that it's holding me back from stepping up to the next level.
any help is appreciated, and hope it all made sense!
Sack
So anyway, back in the days of the "bad" Sack (the bad drinking times) as an up-and-comer I was a brutal and heartless on the table as they come. My stroke seemed to be there when it was needed. I could take over a league match anytime I wanted it seemed... and the same goes for money games. I played well and didn't feel bad if anyone's feelings got hurt. I had a certain aura about me, and that ultimate killer instict where I would easily exploit any weakness that I found. I'm not trying to brag about my past playing, or revel in some old glory... those weren't even my words. That was something just told to me these past few weeks by an old friend that knows my game well. I've worked hard to get back to being an almost decent player again (imo), but even when I'm on with my game that certain something isn't there.
When I am gambling, it's almost always seeming to be like a friendly game to me. I feel bad when I run away with it and I either shut down or offer some rediculous spot. I don't know why, but something inside me is subconciously keeping me from going for the throat. The other night I had a guy jawing to everyone. Now I can still set up matches well for people playing with my money, so thats what I did. I took a girl who's never gambled and set up the game and she won. I still know the game obviously (which I guess is why people have me determine races and spots for them still), but when I'm playing it it seems that drive isn't there. I played that same guy that was jawing (we is a friend, mind you) and jumped up on him quick and could have absolutely fleeced him--- but I wound up dumping.
I sometimes fool myself into thinking I'm setting them up for next time, but I know the reality is that something in me just won't let me go for it. Besides, I can't be setting them up when everyone already thinks I'm much better than I actually am (my old reputation precedes me I guess). I've got another buddy who I know needs at least the 8 from me, and now we're playing tight even up.
Don't mistake me, I am having a blast playing still and enjoy all the times I'm having. But I would like to be able to pull out the old me sometime and just throw down on the table. So what I guess I'm asking in all of this is how do you get that mental killer instinct back again once it's gone? I always thought I just had to get my stroke back and the rest would naturally fall into place, but now I'm starting to see there is something in my brain not clicking right, and now I'm afraid that it's holding me back from stepping up to the next level.
any help is appreciated, and hope it all made sense!
Sack