View Full Version : Poll: Cremation versus Traditional Burial

05-09-2006, 11:48 AM
I'm really hoping this doesn't come across as either totally insensitive or way too personal but...

During my lifetime my family has changed its views regarding what we want done with our remains after we pass on. We were once a family that favored traditional burial but through the years we have all come to accept that cremation (for us) is the better choice. It's better for us for quite a few reasons that I'd be pleased to discuss but for now I'd just like to know how the rest of you view these two choices.

Richard <-- hoping this post isn't met with dead silence -

05-09-2006, 01:33 PM
My parents want to be cremated and no service. They don't want to prolong anything. When my brother died, there was a service in Florida where he lived. Four weeks later there was another service here for all his friends and relatives. The grieving process started all over for my parents. They want something at the convenience of us kids. Me? I kind of feel the same way, but it's still a way for your friends, co-workers, etc. to express sorrow and share stories.


05-09-2006, 02:36 PM
I "feel" something when I stand near the graves of my ancestors. I don't know what it is, or why, but I believe it's good. I'm glad that I can visit their physical remains.

I don't know if I'd feel the same way if their ashes (mixed with a month's worth of flecks and spares from other cremated folks) were sitting full-time on the mantle. Plus, in a cemetary they are equally accessible to all family members.


05-09-2006, 04:38 PM
My Dad was the first in the family to break tradition and request to be creamated. Last year, I took my mother to the beach, and we spread his ashes out in the ocean. My Dad loved the beach, and now any of us can go there, look out on the ocean, and know that he is there. It's a pretty good feeling. I will have the same thing done when I am gone.

05-09-2006, 10:55 PM
With out reading anyone elses replies i have to say that growing up i was lead to believe that cremation was against the catholic church. Until 1 day i decided to ask a priest. I was surprised to learn that i could be creamated and not offend the catholic church. I know i have mentioned the Catholic Religion a couple of times during this post, but i need to clear up that although i am a devout catholic and believe all the right things that were taught me by the church, I sadly do not attend mass nearly enough for my own personal reasons. But in the end. both my wife and myself will be creamated and hopefully buried next to each other in her families plot. Now to get permission before it is to late.............................mike

Gayle in MD
05-10-2006, 03:46 AM
My youngest son passed away last September. He was really my brother-in-law, but his mother was killed in an auto accident when he was four, so I was the only mother he could remember. He died in my arms. He had cancer. He had requested cremation, and just a memorial service for his friends, so that is what we did.

He loved to fish, and wanted his ashes spread at the inlet, and we will spread his ashes in June, just outside the inlet in Ocean City, Maryland, from our boat, with the others. His closest brother had a neckless made for me, some of his ashes in a small vile type glass vessel. It may sound gruesome to some people, but it has meant a great deal to me to have it. I don't always wear it, it rests on my dresser, next to a picture of him, and his other brothers, and my daughter and I, which was taken at her wedding. He was only forty-seven, and he was tops, a free spirit, loved life, loved all of us, and surely didn't want to leave us. On my rough days, I wear the neckless, and it helps me a lot.

My daughter and I have discussed the issue, and my husband and I will be cremated. She wants us on her mantle. We want our remains to be wherever she needs them. To me, having the ashes of your loved one seems more comforting and personal than to put them into the cold ground. She had her dog cremated, too, so we will be next to Dino. I just hope we're the next ones on the mantle.

Gayle in Md.

05-10-2006, 12:15 PM
I am from a family of 7 and so far all have been cremated by choice. My dad had us hold a memorial ceremonial at the Arkansas River by his river property, and my brother and I tossed most of his ashes off of the lock and dam bridge while tipping up an Old Milwaukee...his beer of favor. I'll always sense him when I see or cross the Ark River. Part of my mom's ashes will make a ride to Las Vegas with me in June, and I will distribute a little here and there at stops through the various stops along the way. The rest will be inside the hole I make for a tree on my homestead. To me, the ashes can be a very soothing thing to give remembrances of beauty and life in these ways. If you have seen the movie, "Elizabethtown" then you will understand.

What happens to my ashes will be decided upon in time, given I'm not suddenly killed...sid~~~Cemeteries seem gloomy to me, they just do.