View Full Version : American Management Today

05-15-2006, 04:29 PM
American Management Today - Idiots? Some of these sound very familiar.

A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-comic-strip-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes from the managers we work for in corporate America.

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(This was the winning quote from Fred Dales, Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA)

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)

"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat

"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United
Parcel Service)

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." (Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)

"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them."(R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.)

Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation)

My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss
work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday.
He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists)

"We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long
Lines Division)


05-16-2006, 11:41 AM
Um, that was only nine...

"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."

I actually used to participate in meetings where they would try to identify and make time for the "known unknowns" and then try to make time for the "unknown unknowns". Still makes me smile.

05-16-2006, 11:50 AM
Off topic, but I had a job lined up with Electric Boat....but four years in the New London/Groton,Conn...was more then enough for one lifetime.
I did get to sail on one of the Lykes Bros ships though

05-16-2006, 12:09 PM
I was stationed on a ship in New London for almost 3 years. I would bet that our management (ie government) was worse than the management across the river at E.B.

05-16-2006, 12:50 PM
I was also stationed in New London for over 3 years..and went through sub school at Groton.
The Trigger SS 564( the Terrible T as we called it, was named after the Triggerfish)....the symbol was a fish holding a gun.... It was a Tang class "fast attack" sub, the last class that they built before going Nuclear.
It had radial( pancake ) diesel engines, that never could operate long enough to be approved. the solution was to cut the boat in half, add a ten ft section, and install Fairbanks Morse in line 16's. (I was the electrician on watch, in charge of the maneuvering room, subs then ran on diesel/electric propulsion....."more power, Scotty" ) That meant welding the new section in, then taking it out for a test dive, to see if the welds would hold.
Later on we escorted the Nautilus Sub to the Artic, to test out the theory that a sub could travel under the ice.
We also went under the ice....just got our "feet wet", along with two other conventional subs, so that the Nautilus could vector in her position in case it lost it's compass....
We also survived an underwater collision with another sub, while on a training mission.
Geez, I just googled Trigger ss 564....and there's a ton of stuff to read....thanks for making me think about them "good old days "......

05-16-2006, 01:11 PM
update: there are 30 ex-submariners, that are listed as serving on the Trigger....including 7 from my era (I'm sure lots more have survived, but not joined in the internet group.)
I've got their email addresses, but don't recall a single name.
One of the names I do recall though is Marmaduke Baine, our Captain......now what kind of name is that for a sub Skipper?

05-16-2006, 03:23 PM
I have a really good friend that served on the USS Tullibee (SSN 597) in the mid 70s, man he use tell me some far out stories...
BTW is it true that the food was the best in the Navy?

05-16-2006, 03:38 PM
nAz, that's an absolute fact about the food...the Navy has a standard food budget, but it was higher for subs. In port we had lobster, or steak on friday.
The tradeoff was there was no room to play basketball on a sub.

05-16-2006, 03:43 PM
I agree about the chow. My RM school was at the same location as the CS school. All these guys learning to be cooks, and getting graded on how well they did. We would have at least 3 choices for the main course every meal, and the bakery kept the commissary loaded with some great desserts as well. I think I gained about 15 pounds out there.

05-17-2006, 06:22 AM
Wolfdancer my older brother a careeeeer Navy Chief Petty Officer went on a Ice Breaker in the Anartica and said the food was the best he ever had in the Navy. Every meal cooked to order. I'll have steak for breakfast and a couple of over easy eggs.

My other brother the retired General never had anything good to say about the Army's food but nothing bad either.####

05-17-2006, 06:48 AM
He must have been on a temporary assignment to the Coast Guard. The CG operates all of our Ice Breakers.