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moblsv
05-20-2006, 07:17 AM
(Brought to you by Nancy Greggs)

An URGENT Message from the RNC
Attention GOP VOTERS:

As we gear-up for the mid-term elections in November, we thought this an opportune time to remind all of you how important it is that we have your support. At this juncture, it is imperative that we retain our stranglehold on the Senate and the Congress, so that we might continue our fine work on your behalf.

You should be mindful of the disaster that will befall our country if the Democrats seize power. They will insist on spending your hard-earned tax dollars on investigations into the presidentís lies leading up to the war in Iraq, illegal wire-tapping and spying on you, the citizenry, and the corruption that is running rampant throughout our party. These efforts could seriously affect our ability to fund the massive tax subsidies our fine corporations are currently enjoying, as well as the tax-cuts our wealthiest Americans so desperately need.

You know our accomplishments. Without our concerted efforts, you would never have had the Bankruptcy law that keeps you in debt for a lifetime, nor the gutting of unnecessary programs that educate your children, assist the poor, deliver life-saving medications at a fair market price, or safeguard the environment.

Were it not for our unwavering insistence on fiscal responsibility, the economy would not be swimming in the money we have secured by running up the national debt to its record-breaking status, and your children would not inherit the sense of achievement that will come with shouldering the burden of the financial disaster we have so painstakingly created.

We understand the challenges you face every day, with rising fuel prices, rampant unemployment, the loss of healthcare coverage, and the outsourcing of your jobs to cheaper labor markets. That is why we will fight against flag-burning at all costs, and will continue to safeguard your way of life by ensuring that marriage remains a union between a man and a woman.

As a party, we believe that taking responsibility is paramount, and we have shared that responsibility with you, the American people, at every opportunity. When our fellow citizens in New Orleans were devastated by Hurricane Katrina, we were unfailing in our moral support as they struggled to rebuild their city, their homes and their lives, without the interference of government assistance or funds.

It is that kind of hands-off governance that has allowed us, your elected officials, to focus our attention on ensuring that what goes on in the privacy of your own homes remains consistent with the moral values the Grand Olí Party has come to represent.

Because we have controlled the government while we are a Nation At War, we have had to suffer the criticism that comes with making tough choices. But the decision to send our military into battle without being fully equipped, along with the decision to cut veteransí benefits, are sacrifices we were willing to make, in order to ensure the timely grand opening of our multi-billion dollar American embassy in Baghdad. We believe it will stand as a fitting memorial to the dead, the maimed, the orphaned and the tortured for generations to come.

The hard work necessary to run a successful campaign this summer has already begun, as we ferret out and/or fabricate unsavory information about the Democrats who are challenging us in the fight to keep our seats. But we know that our opponents have the advantage, in that they simply have to point to our current failings: the indictments, the investigations into wrongdoing, the coincidental links between lobbyists and our voting records, or the no-bid contracts to companies in which we inadvertently hold shares.

We are cognizant of the fact that our adversaries will attempt to distract you, our loyal supporters, by harping on trivial matters like the presidentís misleading statements, his outright lies, and his inability to maintain the respect and global cooperation that were once the hallmarks of our great nation.

They will point to the state of the economy, the growing disparity between the rich and the poor, the unfair tax burden we have placed on the middle-class. They will insist on highlighting our total lack of success in Iraq, the upsurge in terrorist activity around the world since we launched our War on Terrorism, and the instability our foreign policies have created in the Middle East.

In other words, they will stop at nothing to destroy your faith in us and in our leadership, including resorting to the truth.

With the current trends in the polls, we can no longer sit back and rely on our tried-and-true methods of faulty voting machines and voter suppression to ensure victory in November.

We need you, the voters, to come to our aid. Please donít disappoint us. We know what you need. We know what you want. And now, we even know where you live.

Yours Truly,
The Republican Party

Gayle in MD
05-21-2006, 11:08 AM
AH HA HA HA HA....perfect!
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wolfdancer
05-21-2006, 11:50 AM
good one!!