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wolfdancer
06-08-2006, 04:38 PM
A small zoo in Florida had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.

Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions.

1. “First”, Bobby Lee said, “I ain’t gonna kiss her on the lips.” The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

2. “Second”, he said, “You can’t never tell no one about this.” The Keeperagain readily agreed to this condition.

3. “Third”, Bobby Lee said, “I want all the childrun raised SouthernBaptist.” Once again it was agreed.

4. And last of all, Bobby Lee stated “You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00.”

dg-in-centralpa
06-08-2006, 06:13 PM
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Tony, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." "Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher. "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?" "Stay the F#%& away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking!

DG

wolfdancer
06-08-2006, 06:57 PM
LOL.....

stickman
06-09-2006, 08:13 PM
Two good ones! LOL /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif