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View Full Version : Floyd Landis - Guilty and American



Deeman3
08-05-2006, 08:43 AM
Hey, folks...

I am not a big bicycle fan. Yes, I watched the Tour while I lived in Europe but certainly didn't take it seriously. Now that we see that Americans should not be participating in these things, they hounded Lance for years with no positive tests and sure don't want us sullying their chances of victory at bike riding, I say, we make an internal rule that we only send like special olympic's guys for Le Tour from now on. There will be no controversy and the French can start appreciating us again. That would, of course, warm my heart.

I have no idea about this Landis character except that he is from penssylvani and is Amish or near Amish....This in itself would raise the suspicions of any reasonable liberals out there and he is probably just pumped full of those male "make you goodies the size of raisins" pills.

My questions are: (and some of you who are into girlie-man sports can let me know) /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

Why would he have passed eight (8) tests during the Le Tour de Frogs and then failed the last day? They say this stuff takes weeks to work, unlike Viagra, so it could not have given him benefit, right? Or is there some way of hiding the stuff in your system that all of a sudden is betrayed? Some of you druggies out there outta jump all over this one as I only abuse Hydrocodene, Rush made me do it.....

How would the all of a sudden going from an invalid to a monster be tied in with the sudden appearance of the drug?

Does riding like a banshee on speed negate those gay looking tights they have to wear?

Do all those bananas they consume have deeper, symbolic meaning? Hey, it's not homo erotic, if I had the urge to double my count of sexual partners, don't you think I'd go for it without shame?

Who will the French cheer against when we are gone?

Are there any top Muslim riders and do they have to get off the bike and face Mecca five times a day? Never mind, I guess I just answered my own question.

Would more Nascar fans watch this if they changed the word Penleton to Testosterone Mob?

Does giving a yellow shirt to the winner really deliver the right message?

Would sending a good old boy from West Virginia to spread tacks on the road be considered terrorism? If you were Muslim?

Why are women not allowed to participate? It would add a certain flair to the ripping off the jersey as they cross the finish line.

If Lance showed up next year without a team, on a 1963 Schwin two speed with coaster brakes and two Stan Musial (this is for Wolfdancer)playing cards clothepinned to the spokes, and only one testicle, would the Europeans finally shut the F**k up?

If the participants were allowed Deeman rules of each having three(3) batons, their own word, to throw into opponents spokes, would we then be allowed to consider it a real Man's sport? (This one for Chopstick)

If we lost to these silly French and German dudes how would Gayle blame it on GWB? JK, really not a personal attack, well maybe a little... /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

As a last idea, what if we just did this via popularity pole, I mean we could do a CBS News Pole of who should have won and not allow Florida to participate and the champion whould certainly be the right one, right?

Does anyone see anything leading to global warming in all this?


Deeman
Saturday morning is boreing, even in a heartless automobile factory.....

moblsv
08-05-2006, 09:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr>and some of you who are into girlie-man sports can let me know<hr /></blockquote>

hehe, like Billiards is so manly /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Of course his Testosterone levels were high, he's an American. As an American, his goodies must be huge. He should get a prize just for being able to sit on that seat.

-craig
Bicyclist, Wakeboarder, American

Deeman3
08-05-2006, 09:21 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote moblsv:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr>and some of you who are into girlie-man sports can let me know<hr /></blockquote>

hehe, like Billiards is so manly /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

<font color="blue">Hey, get out of Utah, Billiards can be pretty tough in NYC, Detroit and LA.... </font color>

Of course his Testosterone levels were high, he's an American. As an American, his goodies must be huge. He should get a prize just for being able to sit on that seat.

<font color="blue"> Hey, maybe they should measure them, if they are of normal size, give him the Jersey back.... </font color>

Deeman

-craig
Bicyclist, Wakeboarder, American <hr /></blockquote>

wolfdancer
08-05-2006, 09:46 AM
Dee, I was never much of a cyclist....rode up the 900 ft grade from Sausilito to the golden Gate Bridge once...I was in low,low gear,and upon reaching the top, when they asked if I needed a Doctor, I said no, get me a Priest to administer the last rites. I'm sure Lance could have passed me pedaling with only one foot. Downhill, now that's a different story...they used to have the Carson City to Reno bike races, and while cars are limited to 35 on these curved grades, the cyclists came down at 60mph....After carefully studying the problems of getting up the hill, and then getting down off the hill....I decided that this mountain biking girly-man sport was not for me.
Lance's wins were heroic in my way of thinking, inspirational at least, to many of us.
And if you go back a little further, we had another even more heroic type, pumping out testosterone (his own) for the USA...
Greg LeMond.... a winner of that Carson City Race....and a 3 time winner of the Tour De France.
Two years before his 1989 victory, Greg was hit by 60 # 2 shotgun pellets in a hunting accident (no it weren't Dick Cheney) web page (http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/cycling/1998/tourdefrance/tourdefrancearchive/tour2.html)
I can't find it now, but seems to me that I read somewhere that Greg has developed some rare degenerative muscle disease, and can barely move......hope I'm wrong on that.

Chopstick
08-06-2006, 05:17 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr>
If Lance showed up next year without a team, on a 1963 Schwin two speed with coaster brakes and two Stan Musial (this is for Wolfdancer)playing cards clothepinned to the spokes, and only one testicle, would the Europeans finally shut the F**k up?

If the participants were allowed Deeman rules of each having three(3) batons, their own word, to throw into opponents spokes, would we then be allowed to consider it a real Man's sport? (This one for Chopstick)

Deeman
Saturday morning is boreing, even in a heartless automobile factory.....

<hr /></blockquote>

We all used to do the cards and clothes pin trick. Now that you mention it, I do remember that poking or throwing sticks into the other guys spokes was a common and accepted practice.

There were bats too. They must have lived back in to woods somewhere. When you would ride just after sunset with your light on they would dive at you. Something about that bicycle light bothered em. We always wore a hat if we were going to ride at night cause if one of them bats hit your head and got in your hair, they would lay eggs there and make you go crazy. All the kids knew this. If you were at a friends house and stayed to long and had to ride home in the dark without a hat you had to keep your light off. Kinda funny but I have a very clear memory of doing this for that reason.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Deeman3
08-06-2006, 09:12 AM
Chopstick,

Hey, the bats only attacked you Whitehaven guys...

Wolfdancer,

I do rememebr Lemond. I thkn he was the one that has been pretty hard on Lance in the tabloids over his suspicion on Lance's doping. I have to say, if they never caught Lance positive as many times as he was tested, he much be pretty clean. I joke about the girlie man sport as I used to be a marathoner back in the 1970's and 80's.

I did buy a mountain bike whaile in Germany with all good intensions of getting back in shape, right! I still have a $2,000 mountaian bikes somewhere in my garage and even the flashing is still on the tires!


Deeman
those seats are jus not for a real man's butt!!!

ras314
08-06-2006, 07:20 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Deeman3:</font><hr> those seats are jus not for a real man's butt!!! <hr /></blockquote>

Well, those guys shave their legs and wear those funny chamios diapers so whataya expect? /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif