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View Full Version : Velociraptor Awareness Month< a little late i know



nAz
10-17-2006, 12:42 PM
News

September is National Velociraptor Awareness Month! The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention, along with the North American Velociraptor Defense Association and the United Velociraptor Widows Fund, will be providing free velociraptor safety seminars at local Red Cross centers across the nation. Contact your local center for more information.
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Velociraptor attack is the 3rd leading cause of death for men age 27-29. However, everyone must think about the implications of velociraptors: young and old, men, women and transgendered persons.

The American Society for Velociraptor Attack Prevention is a bi-partisan group of professionals, dedicated to the diffusion of knowledge concerning velociraptor attack prevention.
Velociraptor compared in size to a human.
Velociraptor compared in size to a human.

Know the Enemy

http://www.velociraptors.info/scale.png

The velociraptor is a bipedal carnivore with a long, stiffened tail and can be distinguished from other dromaeosaurids by its long and low skull, with an upturned snout. It bores a relatively large, sickle-shaped claw, typical of dromaeosaurid and troodontid dinosaurs. This enlarged claw, up to 67 millimeters (2.6 in) long around its outer edge, is a predatory device, used to tear into the prey, delivering a fatal blow.

Velociraptors are commonly found on tropical islands, converted to millionarie amusement parks, but are commonly being sighted in the Pacific Northwest. Of the essential facts you should know about velociraptors:

* Velociraptors hunt in packs, and are known to form an equilateral triangle around its prey.
* Velociraptors can accelerate 4 m/s2, with a top speed of 25 m/s on open terrain, 10 m/s while wounded, and 10 m/s in indoor labratories.
* Velociraptors can open doors, but are slowed by them. They can open an initial door in approximately 5 minutes, and will take half that time for each subsequent door.
* Velociraptors do not know fear.

New Home Buyer Tips

When buying a new home, there are a few things to look out for when assessing potential velociraptor attacks:

1. Check all doors and windows. Doors should be made of solid oak or steel. Windows should have steel bars with spacing smaller than the average raptor.
2. Make sure all entryways have adequate deadbolts. Quality deadbolts may be purchased at your local Home Depot.
3. Always keep a loaded big-game rifle under your bed, and tire irons near every door. Remember, you should never be farther than 20 feet away from a tire iron.

Meet the Neighbors

Do you know if your neighbors are raptors?

wolfdancer
10-17-2006, 02:23 PM
a little known fact...when given the choice,velociraptor prefer children...it's the main reason I moved into this breeding paradise housing developement here. With 4 or 5 of these raptor delicacies on the menu in each household, I should have plenty of time to pack up and escape.

cushioncrawler
10-17-2006, 05:10 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr> News .. September is National Velociraptor Awareness Month .. <hr /></blockquote>
My wife bort me a pet giant-stingray for my birthday -- do velociraptors cost more to feed than a giant-stingray ???

Drop1
10-17-2006, 05:27 PM
I think GWB bought one for Rice. She has yet to select a name for her new pet,but has said she would do everthing in her power to find homes for these wonderful animals.

nAz
10-17-2006, 10:37 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote cushioncrawler:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr> News .. September is National Velociraptor Awareness Month .. <hr /></blockquote>
My wife bort me a pet giant-stingray for my birthday -- do velociraptors cost more to feed than a giant-stingray ??? <hr /></blockquote>

I been doing a little research on them... seems you can feed them a neo-con and if they don't regurgitate them immediately it will hold them for maybe a week.