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FatsRedux
11-25-2006, 11:14 AM
CATHOLIC PARROTS

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.

"You know," he said, "I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that phrase in no time."

Thank you," the woman responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

“Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was Stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Put the beads away, Frank. Our prayers have been answered!"

Fats

cushioncrawler
11-26-2006, 02:57 PM
The plumber knocks on the door -- inside, the cockatoo sez "whoze that??" -- the plumber sez "its the plumber" -- the cocky sez "whoze that?" -- the plumber, even louder, "its the plumber" -- cocky, "whoze that?" -- the plumber, louder, "its the plumber", and collapses.

The lady of the house comes home and seeing the guy on the deck sez "whoze that?" -- the cocky, "its the plumber". madMac.

SpiderMan
11-27-2006, 06:25 AM
Bill's expensive talking parrot had fallen silent, refused to eat, and was wasting away. The vet's diagnosis was .... loneliness. "Get yourself a female companion for him!"

Well, Bill didn't really want two parrots, and the price for a second bird and accessories was going to be outrageous, so the vet suggested renting a companion. "You mean like a feathered prostitute?". "Yes", the vet replied, "you can have one for the weekend for $150".

It was a lot of money, but after looking at his poor bird he decided to go for it. After taking the two birds home, he placed both in one cage and dropped a sheet over the top to give them a little privacy. A short time later, he was summoned by a tremendous racket - cage rattling, birds screeching, wings flapping. He yanked off the sheet and saw his parrot, with the female bird pinned to the floor of the cage, pulling out her feathers one by one with his beak. "For a Hundred-Fifty Dollars, I Want You NAKED!!! AAAWWK!".

SpiderMan