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nAz
01-05-2007, 01:22 PM
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an
assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story
with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids
came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot
of egg laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs
to market in a basket on the front seat of the car
when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs
went flying and broke and made a mess and the moral
of the story is,

‘Don’t put all your eggs in one basket’!”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, “Our
family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the
meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when
they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the
moral to this story is “Don’t count your chickens before
they’re hatched’.”

“That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story
to share?”

“Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunt
Shirley. Aunt Shirley was a flight engineer on a plane
in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail
out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle
of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank
the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break
and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until
she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more
with the machete until the blade broke. And then she
killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

“Good heavens” said the horrified teacher, “What kind
of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible
story?”

“Stay away from Aunt Shirley when she’s been drinking.”

dg-in-centralpa
01-06-2007, 10:09 AM
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your
glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting.

The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way Around, you're not going anywhere.

God made man before woman so as to give him time to
think Of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.


DG

dg-in-centralpa
01-06-2007, 10:10 AM
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all
of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells,
"BARK!" and the cat runs away.

"See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you
understand why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

DG

Vagabond
01-08-2007, 07:35 PM
Thanks for the laugh. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Vapros
01-08-2007, 09:20 PM
A woman in Little Rock reported she had been raped by a man from Texas. She was asked how she could tell, and she said he had a great big belt buckle and a little bitty pecker.

Gayle in MD
01-09-2007, 05:40 AM
BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!@ That IS good! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif