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Chopstick
01-29-2007, 08:57 AM
Words that I will never say again.

Everybody has gotten the urge for a late night snack. For me, I like a couple of hard boiled eggs. So, I got a pot of water put in a couple of eggs, set it on the stove and turned it on.

Well, I never got around to finding out if clorox and brake fluid make a lot of smoke, but I can tell you, eggs sure as hell do. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to the sound of the smoke alarm. That pot was puffin like the chimney on a steam locomotive.

Well, I put the pot in the sink and filled up with water, opened the doors and windows and got the smoke cleared out, then I went to bed. Since this is not the first I have done this, I made a promise to myself that I would never boil eggs at night again. I would boil them during the day and store them in the refrigerator.

I got up the next morning and walked by the sink and I said "I can't believe I did that". So, true to my promise I took all of the rest of my eggs, about 7 of them and put them in another pot of water and set them to boiling on the stove. I work in a home office so I went in to work on the computers and DID THE SAME DAMN THING AGAIN!!! 7 eggs up in smoke.

I guess I really didn't beleive I did it so I had to show my self again! You wanna know where the WMDs are? They're in my feakin kitchen. I call em pots and pans! /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

This ranks right up there with laundry tips from 9bawlgurl. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Gayle in MD
01-29-2007, 09:49 AM
I swear, I laughed so hard reading this post of yours, I had to run to the ladies room!

Dear Chop, this is eggsactly why you must use a timer for all your cooking adventures!

How to perfectly cook soft and hard eggs....

If eggs have been in your fridge for a while, always fill a deep pan with cold water and add eggs before you cook them, and if they float to the top, they're no good.

For soft eggs:

Cover eggs with cold water, with a pinch of salt added to keep the shells from breaking.

Bring to a boil, remove from heat, cover pan and let them sit, using a timer, for eggsactly three minutes.

Drain hot water, and fill pot with cold water just for a moment to cool the shells for handling. Remove and crack eggs over serving bowl, in the middle, open in half, and remove meat from each half of the shell with a spoon.

For perfect hard boiled eggs:
Cover eggs with cold water, bring to a boil, remove from heat and cover pot.

Let it sit, covered, for 18 minutes, remove and drain the hot water off.

Fill pot with cold water, covering the eggs.

Immediately crack each egg under the water with a heavy spoon. Let them sit a a moment or two.

Take each egg out, and under trickling cold water, press and roll between you hands to loosen the shell. Shells will come off easily, and there will be no bitter green edge formed around the yolks!

You don't have to boil eggs, just bring them to a boil, cover and time them for either soft or hard. Always add a pinch of salt to keep the shells from cracking.

Your microwave probably has a built in kitchen timer.

/ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Fran Crimi
01-29-2007, 10:30 AM
Memorize these words right now: TAKE OUT.

Throw away those pots and pans before you set your house on fire. Jeez.

I bet more people are burning pots these days, thanks to the internet. I know I've done it too. I'd put something on the stove and then head to the computer "just for a minute." Yeah, sure...more like 30. Next thing you know, I've ruined a perfectly good stainless steel pot.

Fuhgettaboudit...no more computer while cooking.

Fran /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Deeman3
01-29-2007, 11:01 AM
Chopstick,

Maybe it's time for that Althymers test Spiderman has been claiming you have needed for 30 years!

Glad you didn't "cook" yourself. I visited Florida for a couple of small tournaments on Saturday. I had played a guy there the week before and won his spending money for the week. I had promised to give him a second shot and the two tournaments were going on so, what the heck?

I am playing in the first tournament and this guy comes up to set up the match for later. I play and after a few rounds, I am out but this guy has a game so I left for the second tournament thinking this guy, if he didn't go broke, would show up to play there. Scotty Townsend told me to watch out for this guy but I had no trouble with him the last few weeks. Anyway, I get to the second tournament and could not make a ball. I felt light headed and like I was coming down with something. I ended up finishing third but still could not play a lick. I drove home and almost fell asleep a couple of times. When I got home I went to sleep in the living room taking my shoes off and Tori woke me at 11:00a.m. Yesterday morning! I never sleep more than a few hours and I had a funny aftertaste in my mouth like I used to get taking a sleeping pill. Yep, I think I was slopped a couple or more pills in my Coke when I was at the first tournament. My buddy told me last might that soon after I left the guy I was to play showed up and wanted to play some big sets, but only with me! He knew I was stronger than my buddy but would not play him.....

I won't say who this guy was as I have no proof but I usually have Tori with me and, being a Detroit girl, she always has my back. I was still woosy last night and did not even play in a little tournament I showed up for.

I may be totally off base about who did this but it was done unless there is a new sickness out that has these effects. I think I met Micky Finn.

However, I guess, no harm, no foul. I was very lucky I did not pass out as I had a very nice roll in my pocket. From now on, I'll stash part of it somewhere....

This ever happen to you?

DeeMan
better living through chemistry....

Chopstick
01-29-2007, 01:37 PM
They don't have to. About 11:00pm I fall asleep all by my self. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Back home they used to call that gettin "jarred". Guys in Funland used to talk about it all the time. It is getting all too common nowdays and not just in the pool hall. A doctor friend of mine had a woman do it to him over in Tampa. He woke up in a McDonalds parking lot nd his wallet was gone. I've heard talk about people doing it to ya in bars just to rob you.

If I lose sight of my drink for any period of time, for whatever reason, I don't pick it up again. I just go get another one.

Since I started back playing, a few years ago, I made it a rule never to gamble with anyone I didn't know. I have too good of a job to risk having anything interfere with it.

I was thinking that I would like to play some for some decent money though so I contacted a couple of ex-Navy Seals I know to ride along and watch my back for a share of the profits. They said they would be happy to oblige but I haven't taken them up on it.

Chopstick
01-29-2007, 01:50 PM
I didn't know a bad egg would float. I'll save this information. I tried to put an egg in a microwave once thinking I could get a hard boiled egg from it. That's something I won't be doing again. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I think the dumbest thing I ever did with eggs is when I picked up the carton and opened it to take one out and I felt something sticky and gooey on my hand under the bottom so I just turned it over to look. All dozen on the kitchen floor. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

I'm good with a gas grill but I don't think there is anything in the kitchen I haven't burnt or blown up. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Deeman3
01-29-2007, 03:01 PM
Yes, I do remember a couple of those events at Funland. I guess I never had a enough cash back then for anyone to bother.

By the way, great likeness in your new photo....
/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
DeeMan
just kidding girls, he's a lady killer with those South Memphis looks....

Chopstick
01-29-2007, 03:08 PM
That's Zippy the Pinhead. Remember him and Mr. Natural from back int the 70s?

Gayle in MD
01-30-2007, 05:33 AM
LOL, dear Chop, I think you're missing your calling. You should be starring in a reality based comedy cooking show. We could call it... maybe "Chop's Hot Cook Shop" /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Deeman3
01-30-2007, 08:05 AM
I do remember Zippy. I saw some old newreels of those pinheads from back in the 1940's the other day. Of course, the real characters, like them, were even before our time.

These must be the characters Bill Oreiley talks about all the time.
/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif
DeeMan