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wolfdancer
02-16-2007, 01:03 PM
My evil cousin sends me stuff like this:
One for the ladies




One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"




"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"




He yelled back, " University of Minnesota "
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says,




"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."




The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
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"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"




"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
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He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?




She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?




A: A rumor
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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.




The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.




Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.




The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...




Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!




Gotta love that fairy!
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Dear Lord,




I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.




AMEN




------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -




Q: Why do little boys whine?




A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?




A: Trustworthy.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?




A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?




A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?



A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Gayle in MD
02-20-2007, 04:34 AM
LMAO...I love that commercial of the husband who yells upstairs to his wife "What's the code on the burgler alarm, and the wife yells out, it's our anniversary!

/ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif