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View Full Version : Somebody tell me a pool story



Kato
07-28-2002, 09:18 AM
I'll be cleaning all day on a lovely South Florida Sunday (read no golf:() so I'm feeling a little lame. Anybody got any good ones? 'Specially like to hear from the older story tellers.

Kato~~~~vacuuming inbetween mopping the kitchen floor and santazing unsanitary stuff.

Doctor_D
07-28-2002, 09:48 AM
Good morning Kato:

Question, do you hire out? My cleaning "Man" retired last year ( true, he did my cleaning for over 5 years) and I need a replacement.

Are you available???

/ccboard/images/icons/wink.gif

Dr. D.

Kato
07-28-2002, 10:23 AM
Well, I'm not much of a cleaner (read, hate it) but when I make a decision I'm extremely nuerotic about it and will clean from sun up to sun down. That is what I'm doing today.

Kato~~~bachelor with a conscience?

Nostroke
07-28-2002, 10:37 AM
About 10 years ago, Gerry Watson got Ginky into a game for $500/set in Bridgeprot Ct. There was at least 50 railbirds. During the the third game of the first set or so, Gerry gets back to the table and while ambling around says to the crowd- "This 'Gurky' (or maybe it was 'Glinky') sure plays good". Someone in the crowd fell for it and said-"its not Gurky, its Ginky!!


Watson stopped dead in his tracks, dropped his jaw and with a look of astonishment on his face says "What??- Im playing Ginky?- Ginky the champion?" Then "This is a big mistake" or something similar.

Im not sure if this move effected Ginky but I do know he lost 2 sets and quit!

PS-wonder why me and Kato are showing the same IP address?

07-28-2002, 11:11 AM
Well, this isn't so much a story as it is a move. But it's a funny one.

When you are playing a very close set and you foul, here's a sure-fire way to mess with your opponent's head:

The second you scratch or miss the hit, turn your head in disgust. Wait until your opponent picks up the cueball and places it on the table to begin his run. Just before he shoots, turn your head back to the table, and say, "WAIT! You have ball-in-hand!"

The guy will look at where he placed the cueball, and say not-very-assuredly, "I know."

From here, all that is required to guarantee a failed run-out is to say, "Oh... [pause] OK." The proper intonation of the "OK" is required.

I would never try this, but I don't even think Strickland gets out after this exchange.

- Steve Lipsky

Barbara
07-28-2002, 11:27 AM
Okay, how can you be cleaning when I see you're viewing a list of posts??

I'm cleaning the downstairs today. Did the updatirs yesterday. Pete sees the laptop on the coffee table downstairs, watches me go downstairs to check the posts, and says I'm an addict! LOL!!

Barbara~~~cleaning beats studying!!! /ccboard/images/icons/laugh.gif!

Rich R.
07-28-2002, 11:28 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Kato:</font><hr> Well, I'm not much of a cleaner (read, hate it) but when I make a decision I'm extremely nuerotic about it and will clean from sun up to sun down. That is what I'm doing today.

Kato~~~bachelor with a conscience? <hr></blockquote>
I bet your a great cleaner, Kato, Twice a year whether it needs it or not. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif
Rich R.

Doctor_D
07-28-2002, 12:14 PM
Good afternoon:

Addiction status, pending !!!

/ccboard/images/icons/wink.gif

Dr. D.

cheesemouse
07-28-2002, 01:04 PM
Kato,
I got thunder stormed off the golf course this morning so I came home and started to do the chores around the house. I started vacuuming and I thought I heard the phone so I left the vacuum running and ran to the poolroom, the phone wasn't ringing but I saw some balls on the table and I started to run them off. 30 minutes later I remembered I left the vacuum running. The belt on the vacuum had melted. I was happy and went back to running pool balls. Being a bachalor and living alone has it advantages. LOL LOL /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

07-28-2002, 01:15 PM
LoL... that's a good one Steve... will that work against you? &gt;&gt;(looks for pen and writes it down)&lt;&lt;

07-28-2002, 01:27 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: cheesemouse:</font><hr> I started vacuuming and I thought I heard the phone so I left the vacuum running and ran to the poolroom, the phone wasn't ringing but I saw some balls on the table and I started to run them off. 30 minutes later I remembered I left the vacuum running. The belt on the vacuum had melted. I was happy and went back to running pool balls. Being a bachalor and living alone has it advantages. LOL LOL /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif <hr></blockquote>

cheezer, as a fellow bachelor of long standing, i do have one small question:

vacuum cleaner???

dan

cheesemouse
07-28-2002, 02:05 PM
Dan,
Ya, I don't know where the damn thing came from but it's a mute point now....LOL LOL

07-28-2002, 02:44 PM
HA! Broken vacuum cleaner...mute point! That's funny!

07-28-2002, 03:13 PM
My only real pet peeve here is, not changing the subject title, when wandering off the subject.

07-28-2002, 03:18 PM
My only real pet peeve is, not changing the subject title, when wandering off the subject, or not even writing anything on the subject at all.

cheesemouse
07-28-2002, 04:34 PM
Hey Anon,
Kato wanted a pool story and I gave him one I can't help it if you can't pay attention.

Vapros
07-28-2002, 04:39 PM
Around a joint I used to frequent many years ago, they tell a story about a money match between a couple of elderly and bad tempered gentlemen, neither being much of a shooter.

Nobody knew them, but they showed up one afternoon and began a game of 8 ball, arguing and cursing each other as they played. One thing led to another and they started gambling, first for $10 and then $20 and finally for $100 per game. On two occasions they came to blows and had to be separated by the railbirds who were crowding around, having nothing better to do.

After several hours the two old guys were dead even and called off any further action. Don Willis was working the counter, and when he told them what they owed for table time it was discovered that neither of them had any money!

07-28-2002, 04:42 PM
I think it was an amusing little story. Wouldn't you agree that just about anything posted is a bit of a story in itself?... ok,... uhm....well sometimes.
LOL.

Snooky

Kato
07-28-2002, 05:58 PM
Barbara, are you spying on me?LOL Actually, I left the computer on to download some music and every 30 minutes or so I checked the board (have to rest, I'm getting old). I cleaned for 7 hours, that's along time I think. I just got done taking a 2 hour nap and I'll psyche myself up and go at it again.

Kato~~~working fingers to the bone and getting no sympathy from my people

07-28-2002, 06:42 PM
Okay Kato, Dan, Cheese, and all you other house cleaning bachelors out there.....Where the Hell were you when I was dating?!!! I came home from a long WEEKEND of work today and NO ONE has cleaned MY house!!! /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif (Lorri wonders why she always has to do it if it's gonna get done....)

07-28-2002, 07:21 PM
Here's your story, BTW:
Once upon a time in the land of Katocanwin a young boy named RJ dreamed of playing pool with the smartest, funniest pool players in the world. RJ searched through all the pool halls and tournaments he could find, and while he met one or two folks that fit his ideal, he never found the "total package". RJ was sad. "Where oh where will I ever find my heart's desire?" he moaned after winning against the local assorted buffoons yet again. Suddenly, The Great Kazoo popped into RJ's head and drawled, "Well, Dum Dum, you won't find them here! The Internet is where you need to look." "But Kazoo," protested RJ, "Only aliens play pool on the Internet!" "Listen Dum Dum," Kazoo replied, "I can only explain the situation to you. To understand it, you'll need to look for yourself." With that, Kazoo popped out for galaxies unknown.
RJ went home and fired up his trusty 'puter, where he found, after much searching the Cue Chalk Board. Reading post after post, he became more and more excited. "Finally!" he thought, "These are the people I've been looking for!" Now his only problem was meeting this far-flung crowd.
Suddenly, Brady Berman appeared at his door in a white Caddy (With a blood red interior, of course!) There were bunches of people in the Caddy, and an unbelievable red Firebird with more folks behind that! "Come on, RJ" Brady boomed, "We're going to the Open! I've arranged a special tournament just for you!" Too stunned to do anything else, RJ slipped into the Caddy.
They played and played, and then played some more. Shooters of Tequila flowed as freely as the conversation. Jokes and stories were shared, friendships were born and renewed, and eventually the final match was called. There it was, RJ against a long, tall blonde who looked like Geena Davis and shot like a goddess. "Hi RJ," she purred. "My name's Holly. Are you ready for me?" RJ's mouth was dry, and he felt his stomach doing weird flip-flops, but he gamely blurted out "Okay."
Holly won the lag, but came up dry on the break. RJ's legs were trembling as he stepped to the table. Doubt suddenly flooded his mind. What if he blew it? What if all his newfound friends turned their backs on him? What if he lost to a girl?! He looked at the crowd of faces on the rail. There was his buddy Steve, nodding encouragement. And Chris, and Allen, and Art. There was Lorri, with two shots of Tequila and some lemons. " Just Shoot," she mouthed at him. His fear melted, and he turned and began to play. There was the 1 ball down. Then the 2, and 3. Balls fell almost by magic, it seemed. He played for the sheer joy of playing, just for the pleasure that flooded his body as he moved about the table. He lost himself in the game, unaware of anything but the table.
He was startled out of his reverie by applause as loud as any he'd ever heard. Brady was pumping his arm in an enthusiatic handshake, and two beautiful women were handing him a check and a trophy. "Congratulations, Dum Dum," he heard in his ear. He turned to see Kazoo smiling at him. "Is this what you had in mind?" Kazoo asked. RJ smiled. "Thank you Kazoo," he said. "My pleasure Dum Dum" came the reply. "Only twenty two thousand more good deeds to go..."




Probably NOT what you had in mind, but enjoy! /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif Luv, Lorri

NH_Steve
07-28-2002, 07:29 PM
Your story sounds like right out of: The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship, by Stephen Potter. Anyone who likes a little good-humoured sharking should take a look at this classic book /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Kato
07-28-2002, 07:56 PM
Good stuff. Time to do my shower.

Kato~~~is it ever gonna end? Sure, when I go to work in the morning.

07-28-2002, 11:46 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Lorri:</font><hr> Here's your story, BTW:
Once upon a time in the land of Katocanwin a young boy named RJ dreamed of playing pool with the smartest, funniest pool players in the world. RJ searched through all the pool halls and tournaments he could find, and while he met one or two folks that fit his ideal, he never found the "total package". RJ was sad. "Where oh where will I ever find my heart's desire?" he moaned after winning against the local assorted buffoons yet again. Suddenly, The Great Kazoo popped into RJ's head and drawled, "Well, Dum Dum, you won't find them here! The Internet is where you need to look." "But Kazoo," protested RJ, "Only aliens play pool on the Internet!" "Listen Dum Dum," Kazoo replied, "I can only explain the situation to you. To understand it, you'll need to look for yourself." With that, Kazoo popped out for galaxies unknown.
RJ went home and fired up his trusty 'puter, where he found, after much searching the Cue Chalk Board. Reading post after post, he became more and more excited. "Finally!" he thought, "These are the people I've been looking for!" Now his only problem was meeting this far-flung crowd.
Suddenly, Brady Berman appeared at his door in a white Caddy (With a blood red interior, of course!) There were bunches of people in the Caddy, and an unbelievable red Firebird with more folks behind that! "Come on, RJ" Brady boomed, "We're going to the Open! I've arranged a special tournament just for you!" Too stunned to do anything else, RJ slipped into the Caddy.
They played and played, and then played some more. Shooters of Tequila flowed as freely as the conversation. Jokes and stories were shared, friendships were born and renewed, and eventually the final match was called. There it was, RJ against a long, tall blonde who looked like Geena Davis and shot like a goddess. "Hi RJ," she purred. "My name's Holly. Are you ready for me?" RJ's mouth was dry, and he felt his stomach doing weird flip-flops, but he gamely blurted out "Okay."
Holly won the lag, but came up dry on the break. RJ's legs were trembling as he stepped to the table. Doubt suddenly flooded his mind. What if he blew it? What if all his newfound friends turned their backs on him? What if he lost to a girl?! He looked at the crowd of faces on the rail. There was his buddy Steve, nodding encouragement. And Chris, and Allen, and Art. There was Lorri, with two shots of Tequila and some lemons. " Just Shoot," she mouthed at him. His fear melted, and he turned and began to play. There was the 1 ball down. Then the 2, and 3. Balls fell almost by magic, it seemed. He played for the sheer joy of playing, just for the pleasure that flooded his body as he moved about the table. He lost himself in the game, unaware of anything but the table.
He was startled out of his reverie by applause as loud as any he'd ever heard. Brady was pumping his arm in an enthusiatic handshake, and two beautiful women were handing him a check and a trophy. "Congratulations, Dum Dum," he heard in his ear. He turned to see Kazoo smiling at him. "Is this what you had in mind?" Kazoo asked. RJ smiled. "Thank you Kazoo," he said. "My pleasure Dum Dum" came the reply. "Only twenty two thousand more good deeds to go..."




Probably NOT what you had in mind, but enjoy! /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif Luv, Lorri <hr></blockquote>

literature.

again

on the ccb.

whoda thunk it.

good on you lorrie. very good.

dan...

07-28-2002, 11:51 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: NH_Steve:</font><hr> Your story sounds like right out of: The Theory and Practice of Gamesmanship, by Stephen Potter. Anyone who likes a little good-humoured sharking should take a look at this classic book /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif <hr></blockquote>

i'll see that and raise you one "diddling" by e.a. poe for the best instruction on the small con. the applicability to pool should be apparant.

dan

SPetty
07-29-2002, 06:29 AM
Thanks, Lorri. That was a great story. I know you wrote it for Kato, but I liked it too.

07-29-2002, 12:21 PM
Hopefully, you're not still cleaning, Kato, but in case you are, here's a story.

Back in the late '80's I convinced my boyfriend to take me on a road trip with him so I could live, feel, smell, talk and walk the life of a road player, even if for just a short while. He wasn't thrilled with the idea but after substantial nagging on my end, he agreed to take me along, as long as I followed his rules. "Follow the rules? Heck, no problem. No problem at all."

It was amazing. Before we walked into a place, he knew exactly who to play, how they played and how much they usually bet. He'd usually give me instructions for that particular place, like...sit over there, or go practice on that table, things that may not have made much sense at the time, but then came to materialize into things that made an awful lot of sense. One time he had me sit at a table and drink a cup of coffee near the door. He said "under no circumstances are you to move from that table." So, I sat and drank coffee for three hours and when he was done, he grabbed me and nearly pulled me out the door. I asked him what that was all about??? He said, "Well, depending on who's in the place, they may try to rob us on the way out." Geeeeez.

I messed up big time at this one place when he told me not to tell anyone my name. So, of course, some guy came up to me and asked me my name. What was I supposed to say...I don't know? So, I said the first name that came to me. I said my name was Jean. The guy said where are you from, Jean? I said New York (you can't hide a NYC accent). He said, "Now I know you! I thought you looked familiar. You're Jean Balukas, that woman champion, aren't you?!" I thought, Oops, oh boy, how do I get out of this one? Too late. The guy was all over the room telling everyone that Jean Balukas was here with her friend "who was playing on that table over there".

My boyfriend who was "engaged" at the time in heavy battle on the table, looked up at me and shook his head in disbelief. Later in the car, after his opponent quit and he couldn't get another game, he asked me, "Why Jean?? Of all the names you could have picked, why that one??"

"It's my mother's name", I said. "I never even thought about Jean Balukas when I said it." Ok, so road warrior, I wasn't. It was an experience, though, and I learned a lot about how those guys do it. It's a tough life.

Fran

Holly
07-29-2002, 02:19 PM
: ) Hey, Kato...so are we gonna play in Chesapeake now? lol, ah...I'll be gentle.

great story Lorri. I'm honored to have been included! You should write more my dear.

07-29-2002, 03:07 PM
i played fran crimi she has the best jump cue in new york i played her we are about an even game i think i can give her the breaks she rank 17 in the world i rank number 5 in the golden que so if you find fran crimi tell her i'am at the golden cue after 9pm sunday thru sat bye

07-29-2002, 03:33 PM
Great story Lorri! You can be in charge of my dreams every night LOL.

There was some talk about vacuum cleaners lower in the thread so this ones for them ha ha

Since we're trying to cheer up Kato,"Mr. Mom" today hear's my little Story (apparently true). This Vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door of this little old lady's Country home determined to sell her a Vacuum cleaner. After the intitial introductions were said he began his big pitch by taking out this huge bag of sand and dirt. To the lady's horror he dumped it on her porch carpet and confidently explained that if his machine didn't completely and efficiantly clean up every trace of the debris he would personaly eat it!

The old lady disappeard for a minuet and returned with a large spoon for the salesman and said, "You'd better get started sonny, i have no power" /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif St

07-29-2002, 03:33 PM
Haha! I can't get away from you, Finnegan. Make sure you get in the tournament tonight 'cause I'm coming after you.

Fran

MikeM
07-30-2002, 07:36 AM
LOL! I love that story. I can think of a couple of guys who may live that one out someday!

MM

07-30-2002, 07:42 AM
Try reading "Do It For The Game", a story about an old time pool room and the regulars. For more info, check the web site for reviews etc. www.doitforthegame.com (http://www.doitforthegame.com)

07-30-2002, 10:56 AM
My favorite story hqppened in Geneva NY, a distinguished looking Gentleman named Dempsey entered the poolroomm and told the prop that he was a Psycharist from a nearby state hospital and was looking for his rich patient who thought he was a great pool player. He showed them a picture of his patient and gave them the hospitals phone number to call him if he came into the room.

A day or so later in walked Unemployed Floyd looking to play anyone pool. Of course no one called the Dr. they preferred to fleece the patient. Floyd played his part to perfection and cleaned out the poolroom. ####

#### leonard
07-30-2002, 04:07 PM
Watching David letterman last night reminded me of one of the funniest moments I had in pool. On his show was a funny man from Fort Kent Maine. He mentioned Presque Isle and how Fort Kent is the tip of Maine. It was 1960 and Joe Canton,Jimmy Gilday and myself were lead on a wild goose chase by the farmer Norman Webber. He told Canton that there was all kind of action during potatoe picking season. Well we traveled 750 miles to end up in Presque Isle and Joe has Alex the owner of the room playing him 3/6/9/ for 10 a way. After some stalling Joe gets him up to 25 a way and beats him 3 ways. Alex quits and closes the poolroom now we the middle of the streetre walking down the street to our car, Gilday on one side of Joe and I on the otherside. Gilday and myself at the same time ask for our quarter our share of the winnings. People passing by thought we were crazy, here were three grown men laughing like hell in the street. It took 15 minutes to get calmed down. ####

Barbara
07-30-2002, 08:32 PM
Ohmigod!! I have that book!! I saw it on ebay and wondered if it was the same book I read when I was a teen and playing tennis during the summertime. I remembered the book because of one of the first stories about playing tennis and carefully questioning his opponent's shot, whether it was on the line or out. Anyway, I succesfully bid on it and looked at it downstairs and realized it was the same book. Funny as all get out! I have to finish it.

Thanks!! You've defined my "summer reading".

Barbara~~~does not have the verbal skills to engage in gamesmanship... nor the conscience...

Voodoo Daddy
07-31-2002, 04:07 AM
Here's a story for all of you...even Kato. C.J. Wiley came to Florida with a stakehorse named John and a striking brunette. They were playing Toby in a Broward Co. pool hall on a Sunday where CJ kindly redistibuted some cheese to Toby. The next day CJ, the brunette and John came to my home room in Miami. They told our counter man they were on vacation and were looking for some $5-$10 a game 9-ball action. The counter man...a triple smart gambler type was getting his cue together when I walked in to the room. "Whatcha doing?" I asked my buddy. He said "I'm gonna bust this kid on vacation looking for some action." I looked and there was CJ...wearing some really cool snake skinned boots. I said "You aint playing him are ya? I saw him play even with Toby last night...he plays like superman!" CJ walked over to the counter and said "I dont know who Toby is, you got the wrong guy". I told him "Next time your on the hustle within 40 minutes of your last spot...you should change boots, leave the pretty girl in the hotel or tell your twin to quit knocking your action!" He said "what are you, a pool detective?". I guess that was my first assignment..... Over the next two day I saw some great 9-ball with him and Tom Brown...one of pools "Where is he now" players from the 80's. Hope that filled the minute or two of your day folks...

NH_Steve
07-31-2002, 05:05 AM
Speaking of Norm Webber, how is he doing? Anyone know where he is and if he is still playing or doing exhibitions? He lived up near Laconia, NH for some time, but moved away a few years ago -- I believe after his wife had died.