View Full Version : Sarcasm

11-01-2007, 05:46 PM

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
- Ashleigh Brilliant

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
- Paul Newman

It's a catastrophic success.

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
- Stephen Bishop

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
- Abba Eban

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.
I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.
- Groucho Marx

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.
- Frank Zappa

The 100% American is 99% idiot.
The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.
- George Bernard Shaw

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
- Victor Borge

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
- Mark Twain

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
- Charles Pierce

You have delighted us long enough.
- Jane Austen

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
- Winston Churchill

He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
- Abraham Lincoln

He is a self-made man and worships his creator.
- Irvin S. Cobb

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
- Forrest Tucker

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.
- Billy Wilder