View Full Version : Newspapers

11-15-2007, 12:48 AM
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't min d running the country -- if they could find the time --and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is re ad by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country . . . or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. The Oregonian is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something in which to wrap it.

11-15-2007, 09:18 AM
Priceless and so true. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

11-15-2007, 09:27 AM
#11 is pretty bad, but sometimes entertaining. I would never buy one, but my mother will. When I see she has one, I make fun of her for having it and then turn around and read the darn thing. Guess that makes me worse than her. The difference though, is she believes everything that is in print, or on TV...even cable programming.

11-15-2007, 10:56 AM
The Mexicans have much more imagination,when it comes to calling something news. I mean,who broke the story on Chupacbres,where else is the Virgin of Guadeloupe seen with greater frequency,in what other country are reporters killed with such regularity? The intent,is blatant entertainment,and all for a buck,on Sundays.