Satan subpoenaed!

[LWW]

[ QUOTE ]
Satan Subpoenaed To Cricket Inquiry

The King Commission of Inquiry into cricket match-fixing yesterday heard evidence from Satan that he never influenced Hansie Cronje to accept bribes.

Taking the witness stand, Satan refused to swear an oath on the Bible, but otherwise co-operated with counsel's questions.

He told the inquiry he's never met or spoken to Cronje, and certainly never led him into temptation.

"I don't even like cricket," said Satan. "I never go near it, if I can help it. The last time I had anything to do with the game was way back when Trevor Chappell bowled underarm to New Zealand."

Satan said he's been far too busy with what he termed "real evil" to have the time to lead astray sports stars.

"It's just been flat out these last few years. The Balkans crisis, Indonesia, the new album from Garth Brooks."

But lawyers for Cronje urged the inquiry to disregard Satan's testimony, pointing to the witness' notorious reputation for wily deception.

"He is," noted one lawyer drolly, "the witness from hell."<hr /></blockquote>

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LWW

[cushioncrawler]

There iz a widespread missunderstanding about Satan. Satan woz (iz) one of God's angels. He had the job of interrogating dead folk, to see whether they would be ok for heaven. In effekt he/she woz God's right hand man/woman. And, in the end, it iz Satan who will be in charge of the damned, here on earth (albeit not the nice earth that we now have/had), ie a sort of hell on earth.

So, Satan iz not a devil. Satan beleevz in God. Satan would happlyl swear on the Bible. Etc etc etc. madMac.

[llotter]

It does seem easier to believe in the existence of Satan than God. It so often seems harder to do the 'right' thing than to just let hedonism or some other lower emotional feeling guide human actions.