View Full Version : Martha Stewart Arrested!

08-02-2002, 09:11 AM
This just off the AP wire:

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>The homemaking queen, once associated with linens, housewares, decorating recommendations and perfectly crafted pastries as well has her new endeavors into the pool and billiards world, to "re-invent herself", has found herself smeared with the color of black Master's chalk, as authorities claim she participated in "insider trading" during the dumping of her ImClone stock.

Stewart sold several thousand shares of the ImClone biotechnology firm just prior to the company's announcement that the Food and Drug Administration was not going to approve an anti-cancer drug ImClone had been developing.

Stewart, arrested by Federal authorities during her weekly trick-shot performance at Amsterdam Billiards in New York City, shouted claims of innocence as the FBI and BCA Security Task Force read the contents of the arrest warrant to her. She was only distracted from her verbal tirade as the handcuffs were being placed on her wrists. She was heard to ask "Are those plain metal cuffs? They'll surely turn my wrist green, which can be removed with a blend of mild dishwashing detergent and lemon juice, but I have some of my own. They are velvet lined. Can't I wear those instead?" Her request was denied and she was quickly led to an unmarked NYPD cruiser.

ImClone's former CEO, Sam Waksal, and a close friend of Stewart, claims the reason for the dumping of the stocks were "Martha's idea after she lost several $1000. games of one-pocket against Keith McCready." It was revealed that Stewart lost "Thousands" to McCready and upon her inability to pay, McCready suggested she "unload some of that Sheep cloning stock or whatever it's called" to satisfy her debt to the one-time actor in the billiards movie, "The Color of Money."

As Martha was booked into jail, she asked for an attorney, a case of Perrier and an area rug, preferably in a muted earth tone, for her cell. <hr></blockquote>

We here at the CCB have long admired Martha "The Velveteen Widow" Stewart for her many accomplishments during her short involvement in the game we all so dearly love. We all know Martha is innocent of these claims and hope that she will one day soon, preside over the muted green tones of her cocobola embellished Brunswick GCVI.

Donations to the "Martha Defense Fund" can be made at:

Martha/Rackmup Billiard Productions
PO Box 9
Arlington, TX. 76063

08-02-2002, 09:24 AM
This is insane!!!!!! Martha is a billiard industry icon. I will not stand for this!!!!! (Instead I will sit for it is my way)

Kato~~~knows Martha didn't mean no harm.

08-02-2002, 11:09 AM
Martha and Keith!! mind boggling; only KK could conjure such a pairing

08-02-2002, 02:03 PM
Martha Stewart on pool&gt;&gt;.... "IT'S A GOOD THING"