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wolfdancer
02-09-2008, 06:35 PM
CHICAGO—According to a groundbreaking new study published Monday in The Journal Of The American Statistical Association, somewhere on the planet someone is totally doing it at this very moment.

Scientists told reporters someone could be doing it right next door.

"Of the 6.7 billion inhabitants of Earth, approximately 3.5 billion have reached sexual maturity," said Dr. Jerome Carver, a mathematics professor at the University of Chicago and lead author of the study. "From a statistical perspective, it simply stands to reason that at least two of these inhabitants are totally going at it right now. Like, as we speak."

"But it's probably way more than that," Carver added. "Like at least a hundred."

The multi-discipline study, which tapped leading experts in several fields, including reproduction and population sciences, found overwhelming evidence that there is never even a second when someone is not doing it.

An analysis of the data, based on a new statistical model referred to as "Rauchembauer's Overlap," indicates that, given the sheer number of people in the world, by the time the first set of people is done doing it, someone else has already begun....
it's true...somewhere, at this very time...two people are playing pool together...

Vapros
02-09-2008, 08:07 PM
Just today I seen three of 'em going at it. Should I have called a cop?