View Full Version : Googanism -- 12-Step Program

08-06-2002, 10:10 AM

Steve Lipsky and I have had numerous people approach us and express fear of the slippery slope of Googanism. They fear that they will fall deeper and deeper into the depths of banal equipment obsession and terrible playing.

We feel for all the Googans out there. As a result, we will be holding a Googan's Anonymous meeting every Thursday at 6pm at the Amsterdam Billiards Club. Don't worry, you need not share you name, but we do request that you become familiar with the following 12-steps that we preach.

1. I must be willing to let go of my belief that amazing ring work and balance point perfection will NOT affect my game either positively or negatively

2. I must accept that pool rooms have chalk, and I do not need to bring my own.

3. I will acknowledge that Earl Strickland does not care about his shaft taper or finger release point.

4. I will discontinue any ongoing discussions, and refrain from any future talks about deflection, squirt, swerve, smear, smudge, yort, herde and berle.

5. I will carry at MOST one playing cue (extra shaft accepted) and one break cue. You should therefore have no need for a case larger than 2x4.

6. I will curtail any thoughts of the "hit" of a Szamboti vs. a Willie Hoppe Titlist.

7. Admit to yourself that you are a terrible player. Being honest with one's self is the major tenet of our program.

8. Put down the book about Diamond systems. NOW!

9. If you attend a WPBA event, you will refrain from clapping when a player makes a ball on the break.

10. You will never again have any one clean (googan) your shaft.

11. If you have any cueballs signed by pro players, discard them immediately.

12. Cue extenders are for Googans. Do not use them under any circumstances.

Now, we realize that some of these are quite harsh, and that it may be difficult to adhere to our doctrine completely. We do, however, feel confident that a clean break from googanistic behaviors is best for all.

We look forward to helping all those stricken with this terrible syndrome.

Sincerely Jason Good M.D and Steve Lipsky PhD

08-06-2002, 10:16 AM
ROTFLMAO /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif/ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif/ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

08-06-2002, 10:21 AM
You better book Madison Square Garden I don't think the poolroom will be big enough.....Haaaaahhaahahaahahahahahah /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

08-06-2002, 10:30 AM
The affluent Googans could all go the Betty Ford Clinic and play on a bar box using warped and nicked house cues for a month....

08-06-2002, 12:00 PM
You can also come in disguise. We will recognize anyone in need of help because they will likely be wearing "Run Out" Sportswear

08-06-2002, 04:38 PM
Hate to tell you this, guys: But being such a prolific member of this discussion forum makes you a Googan.

08-06-2002, 04:59 PM
Even if you have a case made out of PVC pipe and duct tape?????????