View Full Version : Diet

05-27-2008, 10:19 AM
It's been around for awhile.......
The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this? ....

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Angel the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't,because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people, they have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say!

05-27-2008, 10:27 AM

You are a twisted individual! That's why we like you. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

05-27-2008, 10:40 AM
This one is even worse:
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.
The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby boy.

'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?'
The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him..






Sum Ting Wong

05-27-2008, 12:14 PM