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mike60
07-11-2008, 01:52 AM
PZ Myers is a biologist and associate professor at the University of Minnesota, Morris.

IT'S A FRACKIN’ CRACKER!
Category: Religion • Stupidity
Posted on: July 8, 2008 8:05 PM, by PZ Myers

here are days when it is agony to read the news, because people are so goddamned stupid. Petty and stupid. Hateful and stupid. Just plain stupid. And nothing makes them stupider than religion.

Here's a story that will destroy your hopes for a reasonable humanity.

Webster Cook says he smuggled a Eucharist, a small bread wafer that to Catholics symbolic of the Body of Christ after a priest blesses it, out of mass, didn't eat it as he was supposed to do, but instead walked with it.

This isn't the stupid part yet. He walked off with a cracker that was put in his mouth, and people in the church fought with him to get it back. It is just a cracker!

Catholics worldwide became furious.

Would you believe this isn't hyperbole? People around the world are actually extremely angry about this — Webster Cook has been sent death threats over his cracker. Those are just kooks, you might say, but here is the considered, measured response of the local diocese:

"We don't know 100% what Mr. Cooks motivation was," said Susan Fani a spokesperson with the local Catholic diocese. "However, if anything were to qualify as a hate crime, to us this seems like this might be it."

We just expect the University to take this seriously," she added "To send a message to not just Mr. Cook but the whole community that this kind of really complete sacrilege will not be tolerated."

Wait, what? Holding a cracker hostage is now a hate crime? The murder of Matthew Shephard was a hate crime. The murder of James Byrd Jr. was a hate crime. This is a goddamned cracker. Can you possibly diminish the abuse of real human beings any further?

Well, you could have a priest compare this event to a kidnapping.

"It is hurtful," said Father Migeul Gonzalez with the Diocese. "Imagine if they kidnapped somebody and you make a plea for that individual to please return that loved one to the family."

Gonzalez said the Diocese is willing to meet with Cook and help him understand the importance of the Eucharist in hopes of him returning it. The Diocese is dispatching a nun to UCF's campus to oversee the next mass, protect the Eucharist and in hopes Cook will return it.

I like the idea of sending a scary nun to guard the ceremony at the next mass. But even better…let's send Webster Cook to hell!

Gonzalez said intentionally abusing the Eucharist is classified as a mortal sin in the Catholic church, the most severe possible. If it's not returned, the community of faith will have to ask for forgiveness.

"We have to make acts of reparation," Gonzalez said. "The whole community is going to turn to prayer. We'll ask the Lord for pardon, forgiveness, peace, not only for the whole community affected by it, but also for [Cook], we offer prayers for him as well."

Get some perspective, man. IT'S A CRACKER.

And of course, Bill Donohue is outraged (I know, Donohue is going to die of apoplexy someday when a gnat violates his oatmeal, so this isn't saying much).

For a student to disrupt Mass by taking the Body of Christ hostage--regardless of the alleged nature of his grievance--is beyond hate speech. That is why the UCF administration needs to act swiftly and decisively in seeing that justice is done. All options should be on the table, including expulsion.

Oh, beyond hate speech. Where does this fit on the Shoah scale, Bill? It shouldn't even register, but here is Wild-Eyed Bill the Offended calling for the expulsion of a student…for not swallowing a cracker.

Would you believe that the mealy-mouthed president of the university, John Hitt, is avoiding defending his student is instead playing up the importance of the Catholic church to the university? Of course you would. That's what university presidents do. Bugger the students, keep the donors and the state reps happy.

Unfortunately, Webster Cook has now returned the cracker. Why?

Webster just wants all of this to go away. Especially now that he feels his life is in danger.

That's right. Crazy Christian fanatics right here in our own country have been threatening to kill a young man over a cracker. This is insane. These people are demented fuckwits. And Cook is not out of the fire yet — that Fox News story ends with an open incitement to cause him further misery.

University officials said, that as for right now, Webster Cook is not in trouble. If anyone or any group wants to file a formal complaint with the University through the student judicial system, they can. If that happens, Webster will go through a hearing either in front of an administrative panel or a panel of his peers.

Got that? If you don't like what Webster Cook did, all you have to do is complain to the university, and they will do the dirty work for you of making his college experience miserable. And don't assume the university would support Cook; the college is now having armed university police officers standing guard during mass.

I find this all utterly unbelievable. It's like Dark Age superstition and malice, all thriving with the endorsement of secular institutions here in 21st century America. It is a culture of deluded lunatics calling the shots and making human beings dance to their mythical bunkum.

So, what to do. I have an idea. Can anyone out there score me some consecrated communion wafers? There's no way I can personally get them — my local churches have stakes prepared for me, I'm sure — but if any of you would be willing to do what it takes to get me some, or even one, and mail it to me, I'll show you sacrilege, gladly, and with much fanfare. I won't be tempted to hold it hostage (no, not even if I have a choice between returning the Eucharist and watching Bill Donohue kick the pope in the balls, which would apparently be a more humane act than desecrating a goddamned cracker), but will instead treat it with profound disrespect and heinous cracker abuse, all photographed and presented here on the web. I shall do so joyfully and with laughter in my heart. If you can smuggle some out from under the armed guards and grim nuns hovering over your local communion ceremony, just write to me and I'll send you my home address.

Just wait. Now there'll be a team of Jesuits assigned to rifle through my mail every day.

mike666 james kopp murdering scum doing forever as some guy's bitch

Gayle in MD
07-11-2008, 09:27 AM
Too bad they weren't equally outraged over all the priests who robbed thousands of children of their innocence!

Instead, they protected the child abusers, and sent them on to greener pastures, forgive the pun!

Gayle in Md.

Wally_in_Cincy
07-11-2008, 09:43 AM
That reads like one of Gayle's long-winded rants.

He must be quite proud of such wonderful prose.

Gayle in MD
07-11-2008, 10:29 AM
Gee Wally,
Thanks for the compliment! I found the man's thoughts on the subject to be well reasoned, and intelligent.

As for you, you continue to prove to us what a grand contribution the bible and the "Christian" results, have made to your loving nature.

Gayle in Md.

Wally_in_Cincy
07-11-2008, 11:11 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Gayle in MD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Gee Wally,
Thanks for the compliment! I found the man's thoughts on the subject to be well reasoned, and intelligent.

As for you, you continue to prove to us what a grand contribution the bible and the "Christian" results, have made to your loving nature.

Gayle in Md.
</div></div>

You just make me irritable sometimes.

The guy that wrote the original rant obviously has a "loving nature"

Gayle in MD
07-11-2008, 01:42 PM
If it goes against your opinions, it's a rant. And, if it goes against your opinions, you're irritated.

Maybe some prayer would help? /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

mike60
07-11-2008, 01:58 PM
Wally, This is certainly to the point. "You just make me irritable sometimes.
The guy that wrote the original rant obviously has a "loving nature" .

The "guy" that wrote the original article is a very respected educator. He objected to the violent and irrational response that is at least criminal and especially repugnant coming from religious leaders and the sheep that would commit murder over a god damned cracker. Imagine not that long ago people were burnt at the stake for less. It is about mind control and the never ending blather about imaginary spooks in the sky. Religion has many wonderful attributes when teaching the young how to get along in the world. Hopefully the children grow up and find their own path that may or may not retain religion. But too many adults retain dogma as rigid law and do things that no sentient being could accept. Such as threatening to kill someone for keeping a cracker. The writer of the article is proud of his words and so would anyone not cowed into submission by their fear of the spooks in the sky. This isn't about religion it is about people threatening murder. It is about the indifference of people for others views. I fully expect to be attacked on this forum for my views but i can handle it. On the screen and in person.

mike666 james kopp murdering scum doing forever as some guy's bitch

sack316
07-12-2008, 12:51 AM
Mike, maybe take out the "spooks in the sky" part and that is one of the best posts I've read from you. Very logical, calm, and had substance. Should be the kind of well thought out post that brings forth a well thought out post in return sans any insults or personal jabs. We shall see... but I know I point you out when you make one of your angry posts, so I figured I better thank ya when you go the other way too /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif That's how you get your message across and maybe have people listen to the message instead of reading it as their only thought is about what they can tear apart from it. Just my 2 cents worth.

Sack

mike60
07-12-2008, 01:30 AM
Sack, Yeah i know better but what can i say, I'm trouble. Thanks.

mike60

sack316
07-12-2008, 01:40 AM
indeed... ah you remind me of myself at that age /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Sack

LWW
07-12-2008, 06:13 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mike60</div><div class="ubbcode-body">- <span style='font-size: 14pt'>BLAH BLAH BLAH</span> <span style='font-size: 23pt'>PLEASE LISTEN TO ME</span> <span style='font-size: 14pt'>BLAH BLAH BLAH</span> -

mike666 james kopp murdering scum doing forever as some guy's bitch</div></div>
Why are you so intent on forcing people to hear your belief system?

By your own definitions Mikey ... you are a fascist.

LWW

mike60
07-12-2008, 12:03 PM
LWW, Stop pretending to care what anyone else thinks. Not fascist, rather atheist.

mike666 james kopp murdering scum doing forever as some guy's bitch

Wally_in_Cincy
07-12-2008, 05:45 PM
The "guy" that wrote the original article is a very respected educator

<span style="color: #FF0000">There are many who would not respect him, including me </span>

He objected to the violent and irrational response that is at least criminal and especially repugnant coming from religious leaders and the sheep that would commit murder over a <span style="color: #3366FF">.... </span> cracker. [/quote]

<span style="color: #3333FF">offensive, non-essential vulgarity deleted. Hope you don't mind. </span>


<span style="color: #FF0000">If the religious zealots had threatened to behead him they would have been referred to as members of the "religion of Peace".

the mind reels </span>

mike60
07-12-2008, 06:20 PM
In what demented fantasy is this relevant: "
If the religious zealots had threatened to behead him they would have been referred to as members of the "religion of Peace".
the mind reels

First a mind is necessary for one to "reel".

Wally_in_Cincy
07-12-2008, 06:48 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: mike60</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
First a mind is necessary for one to "reel". </div></div>

I defer to your obvious intellectual superiority.

Mike, I had a beautiful daylily bloom in my backyard today. If this is not proof that God exists I don't know what is. I think it takes a longer leap of faith to believe that this all happened by accident than to have faith that a supreme being coordinated it.

Regarding the original post, yes I think the religious zealots over-reacted.

The sacrament and the Lord's supper can only be sacred if you have faith.

mike60
07-12-2008, 07:36 PM
Wally, That was a very nice post. I am sorry for insults but i'm weak that way. Your beliefs are expressed in a nuanced and forthright way that i find refreshing.
Again i am sorry for the slur. I sometimes forget why we fought wars to preserve the rights of all people.

mike60