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View Full Version : How to lose ten pounds in 5 days!



sack316
01-27-2010, 09:16 AM
So, through some bad luck, timing, and craziness I've stumbled upon a great diet I think I will create an infomercial for and see if I can get rich off of!

Sparing the gory details, the last few weeks I had some... let's just say bleeding issues, gastrointestinal related. I finally went to the doctor, and to be safe he decided we should schedule a colonoscopy. (note: I also had a sinus infection, but don't think this played much part in anything else).

Well this weekend, I went out to eat with some friends before league. Afterwards, I wasn't feeling well and sure didn't shoot good. I left before my second match as I became increasingly sweaty and something just wasn't right. Made it home just in time to pray to the porcelain gods as my stomach went nuts. Like clockwork, every 20 minutes for the next nine hours straight I became a 2 way fountain (so that's what happened to the gum I swallowed in third grade!). Food poisoning is not fun.

I spent the rest of the weekend very sore, without any appetite, snacking on a few crackers here and there. Mostly drinking fluids as I was extremely dehydrated.

Well, my procedure was scheduled for Tuesday... so of course I regained my strength and appetite Monday just in time to begin my all liquid diet and 'cleaning out' process. So whatever may have been left from the weekend, would now be gone. I think my suffering Friday night eased Monday's process... though I still think it would have been much easier the traditional way... and at least a little less painful /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

When I arrive at the surgical center Tuesday morning, I weighed a full ten pounds lighter than I did in my original doctors visit. Those that know me, well I dunno where I coulda lost ten pounds from... but it worked lol.

So the rundown of the program:

Schedule a Colonoscopy
Get food poisoning a few days prior.
Continue as directed for colonoscopy.

And voila! Shed those pounds!

My results were OK. Not the perfect "we found nothing and you wasted our time and yours". But no alarm bells went off either. There were some pollups and inflamed stuff that was removed. And he's doing a few biopsies that I should get results on today. But he didn't seem to think I had any reason to be alarmed.

Now who can help me film my infomercial?

Sack

Gayle in MD
01-27-2010, 09:35 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sack316</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So, through some bad luck, timing, and craziness I've stumbled upon a great diet I think I will create an infomercial for and see if I can get rich off of!

Sparing the gory details, the last few weeks I had some... let's just say bleeding issues, gastrointestinal related. I finally went to the doctor, and to be safe he decided we should schedule a colonoscopy. (note: I also had a sinus infection, but don't think this played much part in anything else).

Well this weekend, I went out to eat with some friends before league. Afterwards, I wasn't feeling well and sure didn't shoot good. I left before my second match as I became increasingly sweaty and something just wasn't right. Made it home just in time to pray to the porcelain gods as my stomach went nuts. Like clockwork, every 20 minutes for the next nine hours straight I became a 2 way fountain (so that's what happened to the gum I swallowed in third grade!). Food poisoning is not fun.

I spent the rest of the weekend very sore, without any appetite, snacking on a few crackers here and there. Mostly drinking fluids as I was extremely dehydrated.

Well, my procedure was scheduled for Tuesday... so of course I regained my strength and appetite Monday just in time to begin my all liquid diet and 'cleaning out' process. So whatever may have been left from the weekend, would now be gone. I think my suffering Friday night eased Monday's process... though I still think it would have been much easier the traditional way... and at least a little less painful /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

When I arrive at the surgical center Tuesday morning, I weighed a full ten pounds lighter than I did in my original doctors visit. Those that know me, well I dunno where I coulda lost ten pounds from... but it worked lol.

So the rundown of the program:

Schedule a Colonoscopy
Get food poisoning a few days prior.
Continue as directed for colonoscopy.

And voila! Shed those pounds!

My results were OK. Not the perfect "we found nothing and you wasted our time and yours". But no alarm bells went off either. There were some pollups and inflamed stuff that was removed. And he's doing a few biopsies that I should get results on today. But he didn't seem to think I had any reason to be alarmed.

Now who can help me film my infomercial?

Sack </div></div>

Get a Neti Pot!!!! No more sinus infections, no more colds, no more blocked sinuses, no more alergy issues.

I know I told you about the Neti pot.

Hope this makes you feel better. Jim and I are both having the same proceedure tomorrow, my daughter is going with us to drive us.

I had to bribe him to go the first time. It was our fortieth wedding anniversary, and for months I told him I had picked out something very, very expensive, that I just had to have. This, after his putting me off about getting that colonoscopy for years.

A few weeks prior to the trip for the proceedure, he brought up the anniversary gift subject, and I told him what I wanted, and that he already had the appointment, all set up.

Well, he went, and they found three pre-cancerous polyps, and removed them.

Now, I don't have to give up my anniversary present to get him to go.

Sorry about your food poisoning. Was it a chain restaurant? Glad you got your colonoscopy. You must be weak as a kitten right now.

Get that Neti Pot, or just read how to use it, and find yourself a littel tea caddy type pot, with a long narrow spout, and use that...all you need is a vessel with a narrow spout.

Walgreens will order the real Neti Pot for you, if they are out...it costs about $15.00 to $17.00 and will change your life as far as sinus problems and alergies go. You will also breath bettter and sleep better...amazing how great it works. Even when you think you are getting the flu, or a bad respiratory infection, if you start using it twice a day, you can often flush out the infection, or bacteria, before it takes hold...

Go Get One!

G.

sack316
01-27-2010, 09:48 AM
yeah, you did tell me about the neti pot before. Shoulda listened /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif Of course after all this, the sinus problems are a walk in the park /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif But I suppose I should hunt one down and try it... if I can do it. I'm one of those that generally has to get someone to sit on me to put eye drops in. Gayle, if you will just come grab me by my nostrils and flip me 'round and do the thing, we won't have to keep discussing that part every year /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif lol

Sack

Gayle in MD
01-27-2010, 10:11 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sack316</div><div class="ubbcode-body">yeah, you did tell me about the neti pot before. Shoulda listened /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif Of course after all this, the sinus problems are a walk in the park /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif But I suppose I should hunt one down and try it... if I can do it. I'm one of those that generally has to get someone to sit on me to put eye drops in. Gayle, if you will just come grab me by my nostrils and flip me 'round and do the thing, we won't have to keep discussing that part every year /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif lol

Sack </div></div>

LOL, Well, believe me, it isn't hard to do at all. If you can dive into a swimming pool, closing off the back of your thoat, you can use a Neti Pot. You just stand over the sink, and turn your head sideways, and slightly upward, and pour the slightly salted, (and I do mean just a few grains of salt, like three, using luke warm clean water)into your nostril and let it come out of the other nostril., Then blos your nose, and do the same thing, the other way.

It will change your life!!!!

You men! I put Jim's vitamins right by his dinner plate, every night. He eats, and then gets right up and leaves them there, and goes to the sofa to watch the news. I swallow all five of mine at once with one gulp of water.

Then, I get him a glas of cold water, and move them over right in front of him on the table. I even cut them in half! He takes all evening, at my urgings, just to swallow five vitamins!

I tell him, it's a damn good thing your a man! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif If you had been a woman, you could never have kept a man around very long.... /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

sack316
01-27-2010, 11:17 AM
My dad is the same way. Us guys are just wusses when it comes to stuff going into our body I suppose /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

Sack