Why isn't life fair?

[sack316]

So been a long couple of months... and I've had a long night and much time to reflect...

Little background for those who don't know... but I'm 30 years old and for the most part been a pretty shitty drunk for the last decade. Done a lot of wrong, done a lot of good deeds in between... but really... done A LOT of wrong.

So bout 2 months ago y'all saw my post for the passing of my good buddy Hobbie. Literally a 'give the shirt off his back' kinda guy. Sparing the details, suffice to say we lost one of the good ones back then.

Yesterday we lost another good one. A total sweetheart of only 21 years of age. True blue good girl that worked at a local poolhall. I can't think of many people sweeter than she was. Lost her to a car accident... and her passenger, though I don't know him, is the son of some other good friends of mine.

And that stuff makes me think. I've done a lot of dirt in my day. I don't have enough fingers and toes to count the times I deserved my time to come. From hustlin' alone in places I didn't belong, to barroom brawls, to DUI's, to hundreds of shoulda been DUI's, to my wrecks... to more things than I can list here. Truth be told, if there was any justice in this world I woulda been gone LONG ago...

Yet here I sit. Once again home safely in the comfort of my home. All my misdeeds upon my head, while so many good people that I know are gone before me. And I just gotta wonder... whatsup with that? I'm pretty sure I know the answer... but still... it just doesn't seem right...

Sack

[LWW]

Bless you brother sack.

It took courage to post that.

LWW

[pooltchr]

I believe God has a plan for all of us. And while it may not be obvious, there is something in your future that needs to be done. It may not even be something you do directly, but through some interaction with someone else, you may do something very good.
For all we know, it may have been this very post that makes someone else stop and reflect on their own life, and make some positive changes. We just don't know.
I lost my first wife to cancer at age 44. She was as good a person as you could ever know, and a far better person than me. I can't explain it, but I know there was a reason. Maybe she was so good that she got her work here done early, while I have yet to complete whatever good I am supposed to get done.

Last Christmas, I managed to catch the movie It's a Wonderful Life on tv for the umpteenth time. I think it is an interesting concept of how one person can affect so many other people in the course of their life, and not even realize it.

You have a purpose. You just have to find it.

Peace, my friend.

Steve

[Gayle in MD]

There is no grand scheme. The only answers are the ones you make.

G.

[wolfdancer]

Sack I lost a good friend and fellow employee once....and it affected me so much that I gave up drinking for 7 years. I drink now, but have a 2 drink max...also a 2 drink min.
Howard was not only a nice guy, but had the best since of humor that I've ever encountered. He had once been a CHP...not sure why he quit that. Anyway, we all sat in the office after work, and polished off a fifth of scotch. On his way home,driving a motorcycle, he hit the center abutment of a rr bridge spanning a narrow roadway, and was killed instantly. The 3 or 4 of us that had drank with him....all felt guilty...we knew he was tired from being up 24 hrs....why didn't we insist he sleep over at one of our houses?
The only way I know of to deal with the passing of someone close....is to remember the good times that you shared, and that way you at least keep their memory alive....

[eg8r]

Sounds like a pretty rough few months. I think the biggest thing to take from this is that life is precious and it can be taken from you in a moments notice. As you have mentioned you have had many chances to be the "trajedy" and have been "saved" from those situations. It is definitely a time to make sure that the changes you are making for the positive are not taken lightly.

eg8r