Chopstick
06-29-2010, 08:35 AM
LOL WTG AL I didn't know you had it in ya. LOL
link (http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/american-princess/2010/06/al-gore-is-a-crazed-sex-poodle.html)
Al Gore is a Crazed Sex Poodle
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Emily Zanotti on 06.24.10 at 10:58 AM | 1 comment
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Emily Zanotti
Famous for not being famous in politics since 2004.
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In a bizarre statement to police, the Oregon woman who claims that Al Gore fondled and groped her during a massage session described the former Vice President as a giggling "crazed sex poodle" who gave a "come hither" look before pouncing on her in a Portland hotel suite.
In a taped January 2009 interview with cops, the 54-year-old woman, a licensed masseuse whose name has been redacted from police records, read from a lengthy prepared statement that detailed her alleged October 2006 encounter with Gore at the Hotel Lucia.
In a scene that could have come directly out of an adult-film John Hughes parody, apparently, Gore tried to get her all sauced up with shots of Grand Mariner (fancy!) before awkwardly attempting to french kiss her. The Smoking Gun calls the allegations, documented years after they happened (the victim didn't want to talk about the incident right away, according to police) "R-Rated Vice Presidential fan fiction" and it reads like something Laurie David would have written in her super-secret anonymous Tiger Beat article. He's also, terrifyingly, domineering. Clearly, that boring persona he exhibits in public needed an outlet. And it was this chicks black pants. Things ended rather "inconveniently," as it happens.
I kill myself sometimes.
Honestly, I don't know what creeps me out more about this, that it exists or that, when the lady allegedly entered the room, Al's opening line was "Call me Al." No, seriously. He said "CALL ME AL." Like the Paul Simon song. Like something I can picture Christopher Walken's SNL "Continental" character doing right before he hands you some cheap champagne and suggests that you "take off your gloves." Like, how creepy is that. Ugh. I can't even type it. I'm too busy recoiling from the thought of Al Gore trying to hit on me with one of those awful pick up lines like "How YOU erasing your carbon footprint?" or "You're so hot, I think you're warming my planet." Or him dressed up as a sexy Captain Planet. OMG. Vomit. OMG. This is going to haunt me.
Honestly, I do think this is probably made up for publicity by someone who wants a little attention now that there's a legitimate opportunity for a story like this to have legs. It has to be. Please let it be. Because I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle this if it's true. Seriously. Ugh.
link (http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/american-princess/2010/06/al-gore-is-a-crazed-sex-poodle.html)
Al Gore is a Crazed Sex Poodle
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Emily Zanotti on 06.24.10 at 10:58 AM | 1 comment
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Emily Zanotti
Famous for not being famous in politics since 2004.
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In a bizarre statement to police, the Oregon woman who claims that Al Gore fondled and groped her during a massage session described the former Vice President as a giggling "crazed sex poodle" who gave a "come hither" look before pouncing on her in a Portland hotel suite.
In a taped January 2009 interview with cops, the 54-year-old woman, a licensed masseuse whose name has been redacted from police records, read from a lengthy prepared statement that detailed her alleged October 2006 encounter with Gore at the Hotel Lucia.
In a scene that could have come directly out of an adult-film John Hughes parody, apparently, Gore tried to get her all sauced up with shots of Grand Mariner (fancy!) before awkwardly attempting to french kiss her. The Smoking Gun calls the allegations, documented years after they happened (the victim didn't want to talk about the incident right away, according to police) "R-Rated Vice Presidential fan fiction" and it reads like something Laurie David would have written in her super-secret anonymous Tiger Beat article. He's also, terrifyingly, domineering. Clearly, that boring persona he exhibits in public needed an outlet. And it was this chicks black pants. Things ended rather "inconveniently," as it happens.
I kill myself sometimes.
Honestly, I don't know what creeps me out more about this, that it exists or that, when the lady allegedly entered the room, Al's opening line was "Call me Al." No, seriously. He said "CALL ME AL." Like the Paul Simon song. Like something I can picture Christopher Walken's SNL "Continental" character doing right before he hands you some cheap champagne and suggests that you "take off your gloves." Like, how creepy is that. Ugh. I can't even type it. I'm too busy recoiling from the thought of Al Gore trying to hit on me with one of those awful pick up lines like "How YOU erasing your carbon footprint?" or "You're so hot, I think you're warming my planet." Or him dressed up as a sexy Captain Planet. OMG. Vomit. OMG. This is going to haunt me.
Honestly, I do think this is probably made up for publicity by someone who wants a little attention now that there's a legitimate opportunity for a story like this to have legs. It has to be. Please let it be. Because I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle this if it's true. Seriously. Ugh.