View Full Version : Freedom is so near...
08-28-2002, 03:14 PM
I stand here, looking through the window, from the prison confine me. I see birds flying freely. I can see children laughing and playing. Just the other day, I saw a man in a pickup truck, driving down the road with a brand new "Queen-sized" mattress and foundation in the bed of his truck. I thought back to the days when I too, slept in a bed. Here I am now, relegated to a sofa so cruely fabricated (8 inches shorter than I am) that I must sleep curled up in the same fetal position that I was once in while inside my Mother's womb. The only thing that could make me relive the experience of my own birth would be to pull my body through the wing-window of a car, slap me on the butt and finally, wrap me in a towel and put a cut-up sock on my head.
My back aches each and every morning but freedom is near my friends...freedom is oh so near. I feared being released back into single society. You see...I have lost the ability to trust. Even more frightening was the thought of never being able to communicate with my fellow CCB'ers. You see...this computer is hers and alas, how would I access the World-Wide-Web without one? That fear has been put to rest because as of today, I possess a new computer.
Yes my dear friends...I will not be silenced by the cruelty of divorce! Nor will I lay awake at night without the benefit of a comfortable resting place because today, I also became the proud owner of a new bed!
Yes, the bells of freedom are ringing, from the mountains to the praries to the oceans, white with foam. God bless my divorce attorney and the nearby apartment complex that will soon become my home...my sanctuary.
In a matter of just a few days, my cue case will be able to lean freely against the wall instead of being hidden from the "Evil One" that might wish to do damage to it. My dogs can romp freely, scratch themselves and lick themselves whenever and wherever they wish, without the fear of being yelled at. I will be able to eat from the refrigerator without asking if it's "okay" first. I can cook liver and onions if I so choose. I will be able to drink a beer, sit in a recliner and fall asleep in front of the television, watching ESPN...a freedom that I have been denied since March 1st of this year. I will be able to leave my home and return to it at a decent hour, rather than departing before sun-up and returning well into the late hours, simply to avoid "her".
Yes people...freedom is near. I can smell it.
Ken (going over the wall, hopefully, this Saturday)
Hang in there Ken. Remember, every new relationship is like a new spin on the roulette wheel, the odds are still the same! /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif
That is such a great way to look at it Ken. I was engaged to a woman that I found in my bed with some guy. I put a leash on my dog and moved that instant. Told her to keep everything. Of course, while she was at work the next day I emptied out my stuff. I had to scare the living hell out of the pip squeak in my bed. Boy was he confused when I took the bed apart, put it in the living room and shredded the sheets and matress.
Treasure your freedom Ken and all that you mention above ('cept that liver and onion thing). Hell is no place for a free livin' man. Heaven is just around the corner.
Kato~~~been there, done that.............3 times.
This post is amazing! You have this much anger towards your wife and you've been married for 4 months!!! The 'Evil one'? 'Coming home late to avoid her'? All this after 4 months of marriage??? Something wrong with this picture? Either this is another one of your prolific bullshit storiesagain or you must be one miserable turkey to hate someone that much when you should still be on your honeymoon. Sounds like a bullshit story to me.
08-28-2002, 06:58 PM
Ken...People say "You'll look back on this someday and laugh about it ", but having heard enough directly from you about what all has happened, I doubt this to be the case with this jaunt in your life. I'm damned happy you are getting out of that daily hell(and it REALLY had to feel just like that to you hour upon hour upon hour.....) Good luck, we'll hit'em around soon...sid~~~I even learned a lesson or two about life at your bruised up expense, "Ain't gettin' none, don't think I probably need none at these risks"
08-28-2002, 07:08 PM
All bad things must come to an END.
Its time for you to look forward.. and see life as you want it to be...
Remember the 10 most powererful 2 letter words.
"If it is to be, it is up to me"
08-28-2002, 10:34 PM
Best of all, on Monday you will receive that "icon of universal acceptance", your very own CCB key chain. I gave yours to Sid V today, since he said you guys are matching up on Monday.
Hoist a few for me!
9 Ball Girl
08-28-2002, 11:48 PM
When you are finally settled in, I'm going to drink a couple i n your name. Hang in there, bud.
Wendy~~it only hurts for a little while
08-28-2002, 11:53 PM
I know how you feel Ken. I've been there and done that a few times myself. (I'm with my fourth wife, LOL) I was married to my last wife for 17 years, and was miserable for at least 16 of those years. I thought I was staying for my son, but in hindsight, I would have done him a bigger favor to have left earlier. When we were divorced, I felt like I had been released from prison. Oh Happy Days! This was a case where no matter the cost, it was still a blessing. Don't let this bad experience distort your perception of women in general. They are not all the same. Best wishes to you my friend!
08-29-2002, 12:04 AM
Although I don't believe it's true in every case, someone once said that "Marriage is the way a guy finds out what kind of man his wife really likes." Good luck.
08-29-2002, 05:55 AM
This post is amazing! <font color=red>Thanks.</font color=red> You have this much anger <font color=red>Where are the words of anger?</font color=red> towards your wife and you've been married for 4 months!!! <font color=red>Five months...but it seems like years</font color=red> The 'Evil one'? <font color=red>It was the politest term I could come up with.</font color=red> 'Coming home late to avoid her'? <font color=red>Better than arguing and fighting.</font color=red> All this after 4 months of marriage??? <font color=red>Ummm...it's 5 months!</font color=red> Something wrong with this picture? <font color=red>Yes...from the moment we were married!</font color=red> Either this is another one of your prolific bullshit stories again or you must be one miserable turkey to hate <font color=red>Please point out where I said I "hated" anyone. I don't hate anyone as it goes against my beliefs.</font color=red> someone that much when you should still be on your honeymoon. Sounds like a bullshit story to me. <font color=red>You are certainly entitled to your opinion and I respect that.</font color=red>
08-29-2002, 06:43 AM
Good morning Pookie:
This is not the End.
This is not the Beginning.
It is the End of the Beginning!
Take flight little bird, take flight !!!
08-29-2002, 06:46 AM
Divorce is hell, but living with someone you are not compatible with is worse. i could not live with someone who cared more about their stuff than my dogs. When my puppy tore the carpet, Whitewolf said 'that carpet is shitty anyway. and of course we have pool in common.
i guess i am lucky to have a husband who loves me so much he accepts me with all my ideosyncrasies.
good luck to you.
08-29-2002, 06:51 AM
when their are two people on the same forum getting a divorce, it is often very tempting to take sides. it takes two to tango. and it is unfortunate when people marry, only to find out that they are not compatible.
gl to both of you and may you find happiness
08-29-2002, 06:58 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: bluewolf:</font><hr>when their are two people on the same forum getting a divorce, it is often very tempting to take sides.<hr></blockquote>
Who else is getting divorced from the CCB?
08-29-2002, 07:03 AM
Unknown... Unless Bluewolf is referring to our divorce !
08-29-2002, 07:08 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Anonymous:</font><hr> This post is amazing! You have this much anger towards your wife and you've been married for 4 months!!! The 'Evil one'? 'Coming home late to avoid her'? All this after 4 months of marriage??? Something wrong with this picture? Either this is another one of your prolific bullshit storiesagain or you must be one miserable turkey to hate someone that much when you should still be on your honeymoon. Sounds like a bullshit story to me.
'feelings are not right or wrong, they just are'. each person has a right to their feelings,to grieve, be angry and to talk out their feelings to their support group. when you have this pain in your gut, only talking and tears will dissolve it'
i cannot judge. two people got married expecting one thing and then found they were incompatible for what ever reason.it is better to divorce after a short time than to stay together miserable for years.
i am sure both of them are hurting even if it is expressed as anger. i know lots of us here like them both. if we are true friends to ken and diana, the best thing we can do is listen without judgement, cry with them, grieve with them.
slamming an already hurting person is inexcusable and cruel.in my book, it is like coming across and injured child or animal and kicking them to death.
i dont know who you are since you signed up as anonymous and do not have the gall to show us who you are, but you need an attitude adjustment!!!
08-29-2002, 07:14 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Doctor_D:</font><hr> Good morning:
Unknown... Unless Bluewolf is referring to our divorce !
yes,your divorce in response to ken,s original post. i think that this is like a group of friends who like you both.i would hate to see a mudslinging battle about who is right or wrong or more right or wrong. when two people are splitting, none of this matters. what matters is to be friends to both of you by listening and not taking sides.
Um, Ken and Dr. D aren't really married in the typical sense. It's more of a long distance happy thing.
08-29-2002, 08:30 AM
Hope you enjoy your freedom and return to the single ranks.
Hi Ken. Its been a year (where does the time go?) since my life was turned upside-down. I walked on a 12 year relationship due too irreconcilable differences. Gave up everything. Note, every-THING. Things come and go. In the bigger picture they are of little or no real value. What i did learn is that being true to yourself and following the path that your heart sets is way more important than sticking out a bad situation and compromising your happiness away. Today I'm a much better Father (albeit every other weekend, and hollidays) than i ever was as a full time, but miserable, Home-boy.
Not only that, it forced me to take a look at my life in a new light and make the choices that were neccessary for MY growth and developement. It seems strange that sometimes one has to loose everything in order to discover what truly matters in life. I know you will. And i know you will bounce back better, wiser, and happier than ever.
All the best to you Ken. St
PS I also got tremendous support/advice/freindship from certain people on this board, and one in particular, that was a real life saver for me. What a treasure this place has been. My deepest and sincerest thanks to those who saw me through.
Brian in VA
08-29-2002, 03:53 PM
I know so well the darkness of which you speak. I also know how bright the light shines when it finally does. Take as much comfort in the light as you do pain from the dark. It helps to even things out.
After two failed marriages I decided I would be alone for the rest of my life. Two years ago I found the person I needed to make me happy. We got married a year ago in August. I'm the happiest I've been since I was 8 years old. And every day, I wake up and feel like Lou Gehrig, "The luckiest man on the face of the earth." My thoughts are with you.
08-29-2002, 07:00 PM
Gotta tell you guys a story. I got divorced 11-27-00 and for months I felt empty, I got over it with time like anyone would. Its now going on 2 years and I'll say single sucks. I'll stay single until "Miss Right" choices to show her face and "Miss Right now" isnt my bag either. As I once told my mom "all the good ones are taken, live way too far from me or really HATE me "...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
08-29-2002, 10:00 PM
Thanks for clarifying that Kato. I guess, Dr_D and I have been pretty convincing about our "pretend" marriage...or is it a pretend marriage?
Brian in VA
08-30-2002, 08:09 AM
Just be careful to stay away from Miss Always Right. She was wife #2 whom I lovingly refer to as "Defendant." I only hope she's found as much happiness as I have.
08-30-2002, 08:14 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr> Thanks for clarifying that Kato. I guess, Dr_D and I have been pretty convincing about our "pretend" marriage...or is it a pretend marriage?
Fortunately for you, when you take into account the years of unpaid alimony you owe me, it was a pretend marriage.
Ken is luckie as we don't do alimony in Texas
08-30-2002, 08:48 AM
I had failed marriages too. After the last one, I started working on me. I got to the point that I was okay with me and did not need another person for me to feel complete. As long as I had my dogs and my friends, that was all that I required. I had become a whole person.
Then whitewolf came along. I have heard that a marriage is only successful and healthy when both persons are whole people. That has certainly been the case with us.
GL to you as you start a new journey.
08-30-2002, 08:57 AM
Since I lost my partner to pancreatic and ovarian cancer in 1996, many people have asked me why I have not been actively dating, as well as to ask me what I am looking for in a partner. I respond by stating that I do not date just for the sake of dating or being out on a date because I have my friends, family, avocations and work. Then, in response the question as to what it is I am looking for in a partner, I will tell them that I am seeking an individual who will; (a) bring balance to my life; (b) bring a sense of meaning, purpose and fulfillment to my life, and (c) an individual who will bring support and encouragement to my life. Likewise, I would wish to be able to bring all of this and more to that very special someone again one day.
08-30-2002, 09:00 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Lorri:</font><hr>every new relationship is like a new spin on the roulette wheel<hr></blockquote>
I'm staying away from the "gaming table of dating" for awhile. I'm also avoiding:
<ul type="square"> Ms. Always Right
Ms. Alright for the night
Ms. Right (simply because I don't think she exists)
I will continue to court Ms. Gold Crown, even though her legs are a little shorter and thicker than I like, but her cloth is soooo smooth, her rails are so perky and her pockets are so...er...so tight.
Ken (hours away from picking up the keys)
08-30-2002, 09:08 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr> I will continue to court Ms. Gold Crown, even though her legs are a little shorter and thicker than I like, but her cloth is soooo smooth, her rails are so perky and her pockets are so...er...so tight.
Ken (hours away from picking up the keys) <hr></blockquote>
Slow down Ken, I think your getting a little TOO excited there. /ccboard/images/icons/blush.gif
Rich R.~~~good luck in this next step on lifes stairway.
08-30-2002, 09:11 AM
Ken has certainly missed his calling. With his talent for the use of words, he should be writing scripts for movie and theatrical productions.
08-30-2002, 09:12 AM
cant go wrong with a pool table or a dog. they are always there for you and will not criticize or manipulate you.
08-30-2002, 09:15 AM
aggreed. when i read the first part of ken's post, i thought what a beatiful piece of literature it was
I can't imagine living without my wife.
Best of luck to you. When you are ready I'm sure you'll find someone if you want to.
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