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bradb
09-09-2010, 09:46 AM
I can't count how many times I've been on a table alone and had some passerby, who does'nt seem to understand the concept of practice, stop and ask me the following stupid question:

Q. "Are you winning?"

A. Yes!.... My opponent called in, said he'd be late and told me to start without him!

A. No!... I'm playing a ghost player, but unfortunately for me it's Ralph Greenleaf!

A. No score yet!... I'm playing the invisible man and he refuses to show himself!


I'm sure you have your own favorite reply. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Brad

pooltchr
09-09-2010, 09:59 AM
Here's your sign!!!!!!!!

/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Steve

JJFSTAR
09-09-2010, 11:20 AM
Brad you left out so many good ones there are 2 that come to mind right away:

When you miss the OB; Q: Aren’t you supposed to make the ball?

A: No I am practicing missing to sharpen up my hustling skills, for us missing well is much more important that making the ball.

When you launch the ball off the table when practicing extreme power draw; Q: Is it supposed to do that?

A: Absolutely, I am seeing if I can accurately jump the CB off the table at someone who is drunk, being obstinate or unsportsmanlike.

Chopstick
09-10-2010, 06:37 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: bradb</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Q. "Are you winning?"

</div></div>

<span style="color: #000099">Yes.

And then ignore them. It won't take them long to figure out why.</span>

09-10-2010, 08:57 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: JJFSTAR</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Brad you left out so many good ones there are 2 that come to mind right away:

When you miss the OB; Q: Aren’t you supposed to make the ball?

A: No I am practicing missing to sharpen up my hustling skills, for us missing well is much more important that making the ball.

When you launch the ball off the table when practicing extreme power draw; Q: Is it supposed to do that?

A: Absolutely, I am seeing if I can accurately jump the CB off the table at someone who is drunk, being obstinate or unsportsmanlike.
</div></div>

I like where you're headed with this.

How bout this one...

Tell the guy that you will show him a trick shot he'll never forget:

Put 1 ball hanging in both lower corner pockets. Then, put 1 quarter (or nickle) about an inch in front of the middle end rail diamond. NOW...tell the guy to cover both balls with his hands. Once he does, tell him that you're gonna hit 2 balls with the cueball (even though he has both corners covered wtih his hands). SHOOT THE CB AS HARD AS YOU CAN AT THE QUARTER( OR NICKLE), QUICKLY, BEFORE HE FIGURES IT OUT!!


Eric &gt;you're welcome

bradb
09-14-2010, 01:03 PM
Yeah I saw that bit on you tube. I would make sure then guy you try it on is not too big... when he recovers I woud'nt want to be around. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Brad

Deeman3
09-14-2010, 03:18 PM
You don't see my opponent? My God someone has kidnapped Trixie!

071838
09-14-2010, 09:21 PM
This isn't QUITE what was asked originally, but I love it when you're trying to focus on a three-cushion game and somebody walks up to you and asks what the object of the game is. Best answer I ever heard: "If we can get our cue ball to go EXACTLY into the corner - both rails at the same time - the table opens up and swallows it. Then we get a point." GF

JJFSTAR
09-16-2010, 06:09 AM
The people who ask this dumb question already know how to play pool. You play it with 2 people not one. You rack the balls up with the 8 ball in the center and the other person breaks the balls from “behind the line”. Then you try to shoot either the solid ones or the stripe ones in before the other person shoots his in and then make the 8 ball in to win the game.


People who ask the question “are you winning?” when observing a practice session; are obviously trying to make a snide remark as opposed to asking an earnest question. The OP is commenting on the people who are making snide comments in the guise of requesting information. This moron (mentioned in the previous paragraph) has a “feeling that they are being clever.” And they probably think that they are the first person to come up with that question because they are so very clever. Its along the same lines as the guys who like to set the table end counters at 69-69_____69-69.


The person who asks when observing a billiard table with 2 people playing “what’s the object of the game?” is probably honestly requesting information. Just as much as the people who are observing a strait or one pocket game and have to ask what the object of the game is. You are also smarter and better than everybody else because you know how to play billiards IMHO you have as big a problem or worse than the people who ask the question “are you winning?”


To berate, besmirch or belittle someone who is just trying to acquire information about something that they do not understand in the world of cue sports is IMHO as or more asinine than the moron who asks the question raised by the OPer. At least that person may have an excuse like being drunk or really young and you don’t.

Fran Crimi
09-16-2010, 07:49 AM
Hey Georgie, that's funny.

Well really getting off track here, one of the funniest things I'd seen was the house man at Chelsea Billiards (New Yorkers may remember him) John Fortgang --- A group would show up to play and John would ask them their shoe sizes. They'd look at him with a puzzled look and he'd say, "You need special billiard shoes to play." So they'd tell him their shoe sizes and start removing their shoes. We'd all be at our tables laughing. "There goes John again -- Just caught another school of fish".

Everyone would laugh it off once they realized John was kidding, which is the good part. It was all in fun.

Fran

Soflasnapper
09-23-2010, 09:35 AM
I like to say sure, I'm winning-- the guy I'm playing can't play a lick!

Chopstick
09-23-2010, 02:43 PM
Back in the seventies in Memphis, all the black guys played bank pool. A few of them would play onepocket because you get to bank but other than that bank pool was all they played. Generally, they looked down on "straight in" pool.

I was in the Golden Cue playing this guy onepocket 11/4 and I went 11 and out from the break. Right when I shot the last ball, this black chick came walking by and said "You gots to shoot all yours straight in huh".

bradb
09-30-2010, 01:21 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Chopstick</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Back in the seventies in Memphis, all the black guys played bank pool. A few of them would play onepocket because you get to bank but other than that bank pool was all they played. Generally, they looked down on "straight in" pool.

I was in the Golden Cue playing this guy onepocket 11/4 and I went 11 and out from the break. Right when I shot the last ball, this black chick came walking by and said "You gots to shoot all yours straight in huh". </div></div>

Thats a good one. I image your reply was something like..."Yeah, someday I'll learn how to play shape for those come back at ya shots!"

Funny stories mentioned in the above posts plus a few strange ones. Brad

hondo
09-30-2010, 09:01 PM
When they would ask me who's winning, I'd always say, "The other guy. He keeps getting inside my head."