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Deeman3
09-17-2010, 02:21 PM
<span style="color: #FF0000"> Full Disclosure, Wolfdancer sent this to me knowing we had mutual vested interest in this topic. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif I, like millions of teenagers everywhere, just have to oppose her on this one! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif</span>


WILMINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.

Carrying signs reading, “O’Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation,” the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators “because they’re used to acting alone.”

Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the “wank and file” of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

“Our country was founded by rugged individualists,” he said. “And you know what individualists like to do.”

He said that Ms. O’Donnell’s anti-whacking position was “ill-timed,” adding, “In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford.”

Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is “puzzled” by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O’Donnell’s position: “If you’re against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?”

A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, “especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards

pooltchr
09-17-2010, 03:38 PM
ahhh, the old "lust in your heart" thing!

Where did we hear that before?

Steve

Sev
09-19-2010, 06:49 PM
Different strokes for different folks.

Qtec
09-19-2010, 08:04 PM
Love it. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

JOKE.

"Personally I am against masturbation. Every time I do it its like a tug of war. Its like I am being pulled in two different directions!"

Q /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

hondo
09-19-2010, 09:47 PM
I just wonder how the law would be enforced.
Telescreens?

LWW and the clan would be all for that, I imagine.

hondo
09-19-2010, 09:49 PM
They did a survey several years ago and found that 99% of all men masturbate and the other 1% lie about it. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif

Sid_Vicious
09-19-2010, 09:52 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hondo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">They did a survey several years ago and found that 99% of all men masturbate and the other 1% lie about it. /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/smile.gif </div></div>

If George SR had done it more, then we we wouldn't be in such a mess today ;-) Barbara just didn't age early enough. sid

hondo
09-19-2010, 10:03 PM
I have a t shirt with George Sr. saying , " I should have pulled out."

pooltchr
09-19-2010, 10:44 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: hondo</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I have a t shirt with George Sr. saying , " I should have pulled out." </div></div>

I heard that your parents wore t-shirts with those same words.

Steve

Sev
09-20-2010, 07:07 AM
Well since we are getting juvenile I might jump in.

Reminds of this statement.

"The best part of you dribble out or your mothers arse." /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Now dont we all feel better.