LWW
03-12-2011, 04:11 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">(AP) In a hastily held press conference, Hawaii Governor Neil Abercrombie released this announcement following the Hawaii tsunami:
"Ladies and gentlemen of the press. Yesterday, while working late into the night, I finally found the complete birth records of President Obama.
I had called this press conference to release these documents and put an end to all questions concerning President Obama's citizenship.
As you all know, we were hit with a tsunami wave this morning, caused by an earthquake which resulted undoubtedly from George Bush bombing Iraq and Afghanistan, which both just so happen to be roughly in the exact opposite side of the world from the quake's epicenter.
This tsunami wave swept President Obama's birth records from my hands, and they were then devoured by dolphins trained by the CIA to hunt out the scent of any information which would prove these 'BIRTHERS' to be wrong.
As I swam after these trained dolphins, I watched in horror as they were eaten alive by Godzilla, who then swam away at incredible speed.
This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Anyone who believes otherwise is a racist and an enemy of the people.
I have no further comments."
Shortly after this statement, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney released the following on behalf of President Obama:
"President Obama is deepely saddened by the loss of his birth records, and especiially the manner by which they were lost.
As we all know, the president inherited a trained CIA dolphin problem that was far worse than the previous administration had led him to believe.
The president also wants to remind everyone that Godzilla is a well known paid activist on behalf of the Koch brothers.
In closing, I would like to confirm the governor's statement that anyone who questions this is a racist.
There will be no question and answer session."
MSNBC host Rachel Madcow is reporting that unnamed sources inside the administration are confirming that these birth records did in fact confirm the divinity of President Obama.</div></div>
OH DEAR! (http://www.moonbatnews.com)
"Ladies and gentlemen of the press. Yesterday, while working late into the night, I finally found the complete birth records of President Obama.
I had called this press conference to release these documents and put an end to all questions concerning President Obama's citizenship.
As you all know, we were hit with a tsunami wave this morning, caused by an earthquake which resulted undoubtedly from George Bush bombing Iraq and Afghanistan, which both just so happen to be roughly in the exact opposite side of the world from the quake's epicenter.
This tsunami wave swept President Obama's birth records from my hands, and they were then devoured by dolphins trained by the CIA to hunt out the scent of any information which would prove these 'BIRTHERS' to be wrong.
As I swam after these trained dolphins, I watched in horror as they were eaten alive by Godzilla, who then swam away at incredible speed.
This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Anyone who believes otherwise is a racist and an enemy of the people.
I have no further comments."
Shortly after this statement, White House Press Secretary Jay Carney released the following on behalf of President Obama:
"President Obama is deepely saddened by the loss of his birth records, and especiially the manner by which they were lost.
As we all know, the president inherited a trained CIA dolphin problem that was far worse than the previous administration had led him to believe.
The president also wants to remind everyone that Godzilla is a well known paid activist on behalf of the Koch brothers.
In closing, I would like to confirm the governor's statement that anyone who questions this is a racist.
There will be no question and answer session."
MSNBC host Rachel Madcow is reporting that unnamed sources inside the administration are confirming that these birth records did in fact confirm the divinity of President Obama.</div></div>
OH DEAR! (http://www.moonbatnews.com)