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View Full Version : I was ROBBED!



rackmup
09-14-2002, 08:09 AM
SUSPECT:

White Male, 54 years of age (looks much older), dark hair (dyed), mustache (graying), approximately 6' tall (using lifts in his shoes) and weighing about 210 lbs (wears size 34" jeans but he should be wearing 38's. He walks around with his stomach "sucked" in.) He was last seen carrying an Instroke 3X5 with an Abear Custom Cue and a D-Series McDermott cue inside. Suspect plays strong one-pocket and doesn't give fair weight. Suspect cannot use a jump cue at all and was last seen driving toward Arlington in a red Ford two-door sedan, laughing hysterically.

He has my money. Reward if found and beaten (at one-pocket.)

Regards,

Ken

rackmup
09-14-2002, 08:17 AM
Given my generous nature and not wanting to cause undue duress to anyone, I offer the suspect who robbed me on the evening of September 14th, the following "deal":

Good morning Mr. Criminal,

I just wanted you to know, I have recovered from the absolute pounding I took at your hands last night. I also ask that you not worry about the Police showing up at your door to arrest you for the robbery that you were the sole suspect in. Come on...9-7? Even with the breaks, you are simply too strong for me at one-pocket. I hope you use the $20.00 for something constructive...like rehabilitation or something. DO NOT squander that cash on more Grecian Formula, Dr. Scholl's Shoe lifts or those "performance enhancing" little blue pills.

Next time, the game will be played with me getting the following weight:

<ul type="square"> 10-7 (yes, you go to 10).
I get the breaks.
I get one game on the wire.
You buy all of the Cokes/Ice Teas/Smirnoff Ice's and Mike's Hard Lemonades
Lunch is on you.
I want to go shopping, using your cash/credit/checking account.
You shoot right-handed.
You must use only the butt portion of your cue on ALL shots. No shafts allowed.
You may chalk the pin on your cue (if you wish).
You may wear only one shoe and it has to be one of my choosing and will be 1 1/2 sizes too small.
[/list]

Please contact me at the pool room or through my legal counsel with a response.

Regards,

Ken (always the Victim...never the Victor)

nAz
09-14-2002, 08:25 AM
Suxs dude... maybe he will blow by your PH again tring to geta game with you again. Practice! be ready for him cheating ass, and get a fair game.
on a nice note i won 44 bucks playing $2 knock out 9Ball lol
took me 2 1/2 hours lol

Troy
09-14-2002, 09:13 AM
Hey Ken, 1-Pocket can be that way. Practice, practice, practice !!!

Troy

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr> Come on...9-7?

Regards,

Ken (always the Victim...never the Victor)
<hr></blockquote>

9 Ball Girl
09-14-2002, 09:21 AM
I know who's paying for table time next time we play. /ccboard/images/icons/tongue.gif

09-14-2002, 09:26 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: rackmup:</font><hr> Given my generous nature and not wanting to cause undue duress to anyone, I offer the suspect who robbed me on the evening of September 14th, the following "deal": <hr></blockquote>

Ken, Did you have a premonition? Are you Psychic? Maybe it was a vision to warn you of things to come this evening, since it's currently the morning of September 14th /ccboard/images/icons/tongue.gif
Perhaps you can turn the tides tonight since you know you have to be prepared for any attempted muggings. Stand tall, locked &amp; loaded and shoot lights out. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

Barbara
09-14-2002, 09:48 AM
ROTFLMAO!!

Ken, you are too funny!!

Barbara

PQQLK9
09-14-2002, 10:08 AM
OK Ken...lets cure this sick puppy....Why did you lose? Was it...
1. Lack of knowledge (stragety)
2. Lack of ability (missed shots)
3. Offensive at wrong time
4. Scratches
5. Impatient (sold out)
6. Intimidated
7. Cocky
8. Tired
9. Not enough weight
10. All of the above

rackmup
09-14-2002, 05:25 PM
Re: I was ROBBED!

PQQLK9,

All of the listed offenses!

1. Lack of knowledge. (strategy) <font color=red>Iím in my second month of learning 1-pocket.</font color=red>
2. Lack of ability. (missed shots) <font color=red>Missing the easy ones like short rail banks, spot shots and sometimes, even straight in shots!</font color=red>
3. Offensive at wrong time. <font color=red>My biggest offense! I can't get the 9-ball mentality out of my head.</font color=red>
4. Scratches. <font color=red>Not a big problem but yes, sometimes (more than he does.)</font color=red>
5. Impatient (sold out.) <font color=red>Rarely but sometimes.</font color=red>
6. Intimidated. <font color=red>NEVER!</font color=red>
7. Cocky. <font color=red>ALWAYS! (diagnosed as incurable.)</font color=red>
8. Tired. <font color=red>No.</font color=red>
9. Not enough weight. <font color=red>Was getting 10-6...he had trouble beating me. Yesterday, I was getting 9-7...I couldn't beat him. Today I got 10-7...closer but he still pummeled me.</font color=red>
10. All of the above. <font color=red>Sometimes...all in one game!</font color=red>