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LWW
05-21-2011, 05:48 AM
According to the most recent cult news ... today is rapture day.

Sev
05-21-2011, 06:34 AM
I have noticed a bit of rapping occurring.

Qtec
05-21-2011, 07:13 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: LWW</div><div class="ubbcode-body">According to the most recent cult news </div></div>

You mean the RW Con religious nutjobs [ who are now dictating GOP policy ] along with the majority of Tea Party members!



<span style='font-size: 17pt'>Don't worry about the effects of climate change. God will save us!</span>


Tell that to the people of Japan and Thailand!

Q

Perky
05-21-2011, 08:00 AM
One very positive consequence if the rapture should indeed happen today... The Tea-baggers would lose the vast majority of their voting base /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif

eg8r
05-21-2011, 10:52 AM
Why are you changing the subject? He is talking about a person in Orlando (if I remember correctly) has set up a website and believes today is the day of rapture.

eg8r

sack316
05-21-2011, 11:53 AM
Yep, I think 6:00PM central time is when it's supposed to go down. What shall I do for the rapture? Quiet evening at home? Time with family? Go play pool (ie time w/ OTHER family)? Find a rapture party? Do some serious looting? Today is the beginning, but end of days as we know it isn't until Oct. 21, so I'd have 5 solid months of enjoying my looted goodies. Maybe make a quick run to Israel, grab an ankle and hope for ascension?

So many options!

Sack

cushioncrawler
05-21-2011, 05:12 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">wikileaks
GreekThe Koine Greek text of the Bible uses the verb form ἁρπαγησόμεθα [harpagēsometha], which means "we shall be caught up" or "taken away", with the connotation that this is a sudden event. The dictionary form of this Greek verb is harpazō (ἁρπάζω).[6]

LatinThe Latin rapiemur is Saint Jerome's translation of the Greek word ἁρπαγησόμεθα. This is a faithful translation, using a form of the Latin verb rapiō, meaning "to catch up" or "take away".[7] It is found in the Vulgate rendering of 1 Thessalonians 4:17.[8]

English"Rapture" is an English noun derived from the Latin verb rapiō, with a literal meaning of "I catch up" "or "I snatch" (from the infinitive form of the verb rapere, "to catch up"; "rapture" is also cognate to the English words "rapids", "ravish", and "rape").</div></div>I like the greek version. I think (ἁρπάζω) refers to the circumference of something, probly heaven. It allso inkloods terms for enthalpy & entropy.

Wait, hold on, now i see, it iz talking about tornados.
So, a tornado iz going to take some of us lucky ones to meet jeezarse.
Hmmmm, when jeezarse returns, will he kum az a weatherman????????
mac.

cushioncrawler
05-21-2011, 05:26 PM
Blog | Writing | Study | Projects | Arguments | About | Contact | SyndicationTornado Survivor: I called out to Jesus.
By Daniel Miessler on February 7th, 2008: Tagged as Religion

Right, so a person prays to Jesus and survives a tornado, and now that person has a powerful story that will support their faith for the rest of their life.

I was going to die, but I called out to Jesus and He saved me.

cushioncrawler
05-21-2011, 05:30 PM
Here's a Link:
http://www.godvine.com/Man-Rebukes-Torna...st-27.html

cushioncrawler
05-21-2011, 06:00 PM
Jesus InsideThe Tornado

Most people who know me well know of the uncontrollable fear that once controlled me I was terrified of storms. It was an obsessive all consuming fear that completely ruled my life.
To make a story that is much too long, that went on for much too long, short, Jesus took away that fear.
In a dream one night He appeared in a tornado that I knew for sure was going to take my life. Instead of taking my life, that tornado with Jesus inside gave me life, a new life, free from fear.
The dream was about four years ago now. I have never known such great peace as I know now. To be able to look at lightning in the sky and see it for it's beauty instead of looking at it with a foreboding feeling of dread and terror of the storm the lightning is sure to bring is the ultimate feeling of true deliverance from fear.
One funny thing (if there could be one) about the uncontrollable fear I had of tornadoes was my fearlessness concerning other things. When I was young I had another obsession, not a fear of, but a love of fairs and carnival rides. The bigger, the faster, the higher, the more dangerous the ride was, the better. I rode them all without fear. I dreamed of a lifetime career traveling with the fair. Thank God and my mother for stopping that. It is amazing looking back that I could go from a thrill ride to a storm house in five minutes flat if the sky above the ride should get to looking kind of dark and threatening. If there were a comparison study available, I am sure the chances of being killed on an unsafe, unisnspected thrill ride with a traveling carnival, are far greater than a tornado dropping out of the sky and bringing about my demise.
Reading this I suppose you are wondering where is the connection between Jesus in the dream in the tornado and a tornado being in Jesus. No, I don't have scripture for that, but I do have a recent experience for that. Last week I went a conference at Making Jesus Real Church. The church was once a combination, game and amusement facility and skating rink. The skating rink is now the official home of Jesus. I am sure He was also there when it was a skating rink, before it was a church, but the world probably didn't recognize it as His residence at that time.
Inside the church there is still subtle and not so subtle evidence of what this building once was. The obvious sign is the lay out, the size, the lighting. The not so subtle is leftover arcade games and the clearest evidence of all, a carnival ride. I am not talking a kiddie ride, or a merry go around. This is an actual adult size carnival thrill ride. When I was a child this ride was usually called the Octopus or the Spider. The arms have three separate cars at the end of each. As the whole ride rotates the cars also rotate separately and move up and down as they spin.
The first day we just kind of glanced at the ride and thought it was neat to have something like that inside a church. Christianity isn't dull and boring. It's a great ride to be on.
As we were registering the second day I noticed the name of the ride inside this Jesus church. The name of the ride was the Tornado. Therefore, the tornado was inside Jesus.
I think God directed me there to that church with the tornado inside to remind me of the fear He had taken from me. I think He was trying to show me that my past, no matter how confusing and fearful it was at times, is meant to be used to make me smile sometime, and also to share and help someone who is going through some of the fear that once controlled my life.
Today if there are things in your past that you think have no possible use to benefit you in anyway whatsoever in your walk with Jesus, think again. He might use something from your past just to make you smile at the freedom you now have on this thrilling ride you are on with Jesus at the controls.
Today spin around a little and smile Jesus is inside of you and you are safe inside the
loving arms of Jesus.
It is truly great to experience the joy of seeing old storms in a different light when we are inside Jesus Christ and also to see Jesus Christ' light shining through in new storms that form in our lives.

cushioncrawler
05-21-2011, 06:08 PM
http://i418.photobucket.com/albums/pp261/hellomoto343300/jesusintornado.jpg

sack316
05-21-2011, 09:14 PM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: cushioncrawler</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Blog | Writing | Study | Projects | Arguments | About | Contact | SyndicationTornado Survivor: I called out to Jesus.
By Daniel Miessler on February 7th, 2008: Tagged as Religion

Right, so a person prays to Jesus and survives a tornado, and now that person has a powerful story that will support their faith for the rest of their life.

I was going to die, but I called out to Jesus and He saved me. </div></div>

Same concept technically works for crossing the street, or even just waking up each morning (or afternoon/evening in some of our cases).

Kind of an interesting thing, how the inability to prove or disprove works... and the same scenarios apply equally to either viewpoint:

"I prayed I would cross the street safely, and I did"

"I said if there is a God, strike me with a car as I cross the street, and nothing happened"

Sack

cushioncrawler
05-22-2011, 01:36 AM
I like tim minchin's song sam's mum that he sang at the sydney opera house, i hav it on tape, it iz probly on youtube.
mac.

I have an apology to make.
Im afraid Ive made a big mistake.
I turned my face away from you, Lord.

I was too blind to see the light.
I was too weak to feel Your might.
I closed my eyes; I couldnt see the truth, Lord.

But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
you sent a messenger to me, and so

Now I've have had the truth revealed to me.
Please forgive me all those things I said.
Ill no longer betray you, Lord.
I will pray to you instead.

And I will say Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sams mum.

I had no idea but its suddenly so clear now. I feel such a cynic.
How could I have been so dumb?

Thank you for displaying how praying works:
a particular prayer in a particular church.
Thank you Sam for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent opthamologist.

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sams mum.
I didnt realize that it was so simple, but youve shown a great example of just how it can be done.

You only need to pray in a particular spot
to a particular version of a particular god,
and if you pull that off without a hitch,
he will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.

I know in the past my outlook has been limited.
I couldnt see examples of where life had been definitive.
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
as clear as Sams mums new cornea.

Thats extremely clear! Extremely clear!

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sams mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical but Sam described this miracle and I am overcome!

How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention
should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
Its like someone put an eye chart up in front of me
and the top five letters say: I C G O D.

Thank you, Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see thats cynical. Its simply that his interests arent particularly broad.

Hes largely undiverted by the starving masses,
or the inequality between the various classes.
He gives you strictly limited passes,
redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.

I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
Your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
I bet given the chance, youd eschew the divine
and start a little business selling contacts online.

Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of historys endless parade of gods
that the God you just happened to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he digs on healing,
but not the AIDS-ridden African nations, nor the victims of the plague or the flood-addled Asians,
but healthy, privately-insured Australians
with common and curable corneal degeneration

This story of Sams has but a single explanation:
a surgical God who digs on magic explanations.
No it couldnt be mistaken attribution of causation,
born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
exacerbated by a general lack of education
vis-a-vis physics in Sams parish congregation.
And it couldnt be that all these pious people are liars.
It couldn�t be an artifact of confirmation bias,
a product of groupthink,
a mass delusion,
an Emperors New Clothes-style fear of exclusion.

No, its more likely to be an all-powerful magician
than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.

No, the only explanation for Sams mums seeing:
they prayed to an all-knowing superbeing,
to the omnipresent master of the universe,
and he liked the sound of their muttered verse.

So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt
of being a sexist, racist, murderous crunt,
he popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
used his powers to heal the cataracts of Sams mum of Sams mum!

Thank you God for fixing the cataracts of Sams mum!
I didnt realize that it was such a simple thing.
I feel such a dingaling, what ignorant scum!

Now I understand how prayer can work:
a particular prayer in a particular church
in a particular style with a particular stuff
and a particular book for particular problems
that aren�t particularly tough,
and for particular people, preferably white,
for particular senses, preferably sight
a particular prayer in a particular spot,
to a particular version of a particular god.

And if you get that right, He just might take a break from giving babies malaria and pop down to your local area to fix the cataracts of your mum!

LWW
05-22-2011, 02:43 AM
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0zcJ-1bZHq4/S9nx0QN4GCI/AAAAAAAAA4Q/OKuAYZg0Tsg/s1600/comradeobama.jpg
<span style='font-size: 26pt'>OBAMA HAS SPARED US FROM THE GREAT TRIBULATION!</span>

Qtec
05-22-2011, 03:39 AM
Its a shame. Imagine how good it would be in the USA if all the nutjob RW Christian politicians disappeared!

Ready to die...Tom DeLay (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-blumenthal/rapture-ready-the-unautho_b_57826.html)

"I hope it comes tomorrow!"

Q

LWW
05-22-2011, 04:12 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Qtec</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Its a shame. Imagine how good it would be in the USA if all the nutjob RW Christian politicians disappeared!

Ready to die...Tom DeLay (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/max-blumenthal/rapture-ready-the-unautho_b_57826.html)

"I hope it comes tomorrow!"

Q </div></div>

So your desire is for all those who disagree with you to vanish?

How Hitlerian.

Qtec
05-22-2011, 04:22 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">So your desire is for all those who disagree with you to vanish? </div></div>

No.



I wish them to fulfil their dreams.

Q

LWW
05-22-2011, 04:29 AM
That's not what you said.

Qtec
05-22-2011, 04:36 AM
Yes it is.

Q

LWW
05-22-2011, 05:24 AM
Let me guess ... you were actually talking about the weather in Punjab.