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Sheldon
10-05-2011, 09:25 PM
Palin Decides Not to Run: 'I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part'

Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

ANCHORAGE (The Borowitz Report) - Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin told
reporters today that she would not run for President because "I want to go
straight to the quitting part."

"If I launched a campaign, let's face it, a couple of months from now I'd
up and quit," she said. "This is a real step-saver for all concerned."

She said that prior to her decision she had seriously considered running,
"but only for the free clothes."

When asked about her future plans, she said, "Although I'm not running for
President, I have no intention of spending more time with my family."

The former Alaska Governor, who had originally scheduled a thirty-minute
press conference to announce her decision, abruptly cut it short after
fifteen minutes with no explanation.

The Tea Party favorite's announcement leaves the remaining Republican
candidates scrambling for the moron vote, a key constituency in the 2012
GOP race.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was said to be considering new
strategies to dispel the nagging impression that he is mentally competent,
an attribute that has alienated millions of Tea Party voters.

Mr. Romney was rumored to be weighing a number of options, such as barking
like a dog or wearing a bunch of bananas on his head at the next televised
debate.

Meanwhile, still reeling from charges of racism, Texas Governor Rick Perry
was reportedly huddling with advisors at his country home, Jewtrap.
http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/05...-quitting-part/ (http://www.borowitzreport.com/2011/10/05/palins-decides-not-to-run-i-want-to-go-straight-to-the-quitting-part/)


..................
SarahPAC sent out TWO
fund-raising letters in the past two weeks and SarahPAC is reporting
over $1.4 million on hand -- all of which she gets to keep!!!
Suckers.

Qtec
10-05-2011, 11:52 PM
LMAO. As soon as I saw the title, I knew it had to be Borowitz. LOL

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> SarahPAC sent out TWO fund-raising letters in the past two weeks and SarahPAC is reporting over $1.4 million on hand -- all of which she gets to keep!!!
Suckers. </div></div>

Its ALWAYS been about the money.

Q

Gayle in MD
10-06-2011, 01:24 AM
Hilarious! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

So whoever get's the moron vote is the wins the nomination! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/wink.gif

I figured Bachmann had that one sewed up, but that was before I watched the debate.... /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

Qtec
10-06-2011, 01:35 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I figured Bachmann had that one sewed up, but that was before I watched the debate.... </div></div>


LOL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_9WxAEGY8c&feature=related)
Q

Gayle in MD
10-06-2011, 11:25 AM
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Qtec</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I figured Bachmann had that one sewed up, but that was before I watched the debate.... </div></div>


LOL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_9WxAEGY8c&feature=related)
Q </div></div>

OMG! Isn't that just the picture of a lame brain on a deficit!

Really reminds me so much of W!

And that beauty queen and her nonsense speak, completely disjointed, and irrational.

The right must really love this guy! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

You know how they are, the dumber and more uncouth the candidate, the more they love them.

Palin is going to take care of them though, she says she can't run because it's more important for her to be free of a tiring election, so she can show the candidates how to communicate their message!

/forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif

BWA HA HA HA! I nearly chocked on that one.

G.

Soflasnapper
10-06-2011, 12:15 PM
Mean, but plausible! /forums/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif