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10-21-2002, 10:59 PM
lol

Chris Cass
10-21-2002, 11:10 PM
So ya think somethings funny huh?

nAz
10-21-2002, 11:20 PM
? maybe this...
A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Do you have a problem with Crap sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his arse with the rabbit.

http://smilies.networkessence.net/contrib/lilly/laugh1blue.gif

Chris Cass
10-21-2002, 11:27 PM
NaZ,

Your gonna have to do better than that my friend, to get me to crack a smile. That joke is older than dirt.

C.C.

nAz
10-21-2002, 11:30 PM
ok how about...
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All of his feathers are combed to one side.

Q: Can a female get pregnant from anal sex?
A: Where do you think lawyers come from?

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None! They never get the house!

Q:Do you know why redneck murder mysteries are so hard to solve?

A:The DNA is all the same and There are no dental records.

Chris Cass
10-21-2002, 11:35 PM
That did it NaZ. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMAO

C.C.~~I'll never under estimate him again. LOL

10-21-2002, 11:45 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: nAz:</font><hr> ok how about...
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle?
A: All of his feathers are combed to one side.

Q: Can a female get pregnant from anal sex?
A: Where do you think lawyers come from?

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None! They never get the house!

Q:Do you know why redneck murder mysteries are so hard to solve?

A:The DNA is all the same and There are no dental records. <hr></blockquote>


q: Why did the rubber cross the road?

A: It was pissed off.


Q: What did spock find in the toilet?
A: The captains log.

Q: What do you find inside a clean nose?
A: Fingerprints.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Hmm... stretching to remember all my "clean" jokes. /ccboard/images/icons/blush.gif

nAz
10-21-2002, 11:49 PM
This is funny turn up speakers for this takes a minute to listen to, but worth it!! http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf

Chris Cass
10-21-2002, 11:59 PM
OK Seattle,

I'll hook you up with a clean joke.

This lepper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender comes over and serves him. One look the bartender puts his hand over his mouth and runs in the back and pewks. The lepper yells out again, "Hey bartender, give me another beer."

The bartender serves him again and puts his hand over his mouth and runs into the back and pewks again. This goes on for about an hr. The lepper yells out again, "Hey bartender." The bartender comes over and the lepper says, "Hey man, I don't need another beer. I was wondering why everytime you serve me you grab your mouth and run to the back and pewk?" "I know, I don't look so good and I apologize for that." The bartender looks into the leppers eyes and says, "It's not you sir. It's the drunk next to you, he keeps dipping his chips into your arm."

C.C.

Chris Cass
10-22-2002, 01:56 AM
NaZ,

That was not cool. I almost had a heart attack and fell off the Goddam chair. My back is in all kinds of pain now. That scarred the living crap out of me.


C.C.

10-22-2002, 04:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: nAz:</font><hr> This is funny turn up speakers for this takes a minute to listen to, but worth it!! <a target="_blank" href=http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf>http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf</a> <hr></blockquote>

that thing scared the shite out of me. Thanks.

10-22-2002, 04:09 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Chris Cass:</font><hr> OK Seattle,

I'll hook you up with a clean joke.

This lepper walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender comes over and serves him. One look the bartender puts his hand over his mouth and runs in the back and pewks. The lepper yells out again, "Hey bartender, give me another beer."

The bartender serves him again and puts his hand over his mouth and runs into the back and pewks again. This goes on for about an hr. The lepper yells out again, "Hey bartender." The bartender comes over and the lepper says, "Hey man, I don't need another beer. I was wondering why everytime you serve me you grab your mouth and run to the back and pewk?" "I know, I don't look so good and I apologize for that." The bartender looks into the leppers eyes and says, "It's not you sir. It's the drunk next to you, he keeps dipping his chips into your arm."

C.C. <hr></blockquote>

Oh.. I got a clean one too: Dan wakes up on Monday morning, staggers into the bathroom and turns on the shower. He begins to lather up and notices that his d!ck is bright orange. He is really concerned, but it doesn't hurt and he feels normal.
He finishes his shower, gets dressed and goes to work. During his mid-morning break, he goes into the men's room to take a leak. While standing in front of the urinal, a co-worker comes in, sees his d!ck, and exclaims, "Holy Sh!t! Your d!ck is bright orange!"
Dan tells his co-worker that he feels just fine and his
d!ck doesn't hurt. His co-worker advises him to go to the company doctor as soon as possible, since it looks like it could be serious.
Dan goes to the company doctor and, after a thorough examination, the doctor says, "You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?"
Dan scratches his head and says, "No. Not that I can think of. All I did was stay home, watch porno movies and eat Cheetos."

nAz
10-22-2002, 09:34 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Seattle-kid:</font><hr> &lt;blockquote&gt;&lt;font class="small"&gt;Quote: nAz:&lt;/font&gt;&lt;hr&gt; This is funny turn up speakers for this takes a minute to listen to, but worth it!! <a target="_blank" href=http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf>http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf</a> &lt;hr&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;

Nice huh? it got me good

that thing scared the shite out of me. Thanks.

<hr></blockquote>

10-22-2002, 03:04 PM
ANONYM<font color=red>OO</font color=red>SE ALERT!

PQQLK9
10-22-2002, 06:06 PM
A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.


The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation.

Moments later, the woman's husband, Ted, came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Ted."

Chris Cass
10-23-2002, 12:20 AM
That was good Nick. So, do you still have the parrot? hahahahahaha Just kidding Nick, you know your my dawg.

Regards,

C.C.~~doesn't know any clean jokes.

Chris Cass
10-23-2002, 12:35 AM
Hey Kid,

I was at the pool hall today as usual and went to the vending machine for lunch. I saw Cheetos and guess who I thought of? LOL

Regards,

C.C.

10-23-2002, 01:51 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: nAz:</font><hr> This is funny turn up speakers for this takes a minute to listen to, but worth it!! <a target="_blank" href=http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf>http://people.freenet.de/freeek/SajjadAli.swf</a> <hr></blockquote>

Fockin Funny NAZ.
You Are The Man
I Must Pass That Link Along, Hope You Do Not Mind

10-23-2002, 03:29 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Chris Cass:</font><hr> Hey Kid,

I was at the pool hall today as usual and went to the vending machine for lunch. I saw Cheetos and guess who I thought of? LOL

Regards,

C.C. <hr></blockquote>

Yeah, I wasn't sure if I'd still have an account here after posting that joke. ;&gt;

10-23-2002, 03:35 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Anonymous:</font><hr> lol <hr></blockquote>

I agree.. especially after some of confucious' fine wisdom!

Confucious say:

Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Man who go to bed with itchy @sshole wake up with smelly finger.
Man who go to bed with sex in mind wake up with solution in hand.
Woman who fly upside down have crack up.
Man trapped in pantry have @ss in jam.
Virgin like balloon . . . one prick, all gone.
Baby conceived in automatic car: shiftless bastard.
A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.
Find old man's penis in dark, not hard!
Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Man who put head on railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.
Sailor who get discharged from navy leave buddies behind.
Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk.
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
He who cross ocean twice without washing is dirty double crosser.
Man who tell one too many light bulb joke soon burn out!
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot is unsanitary.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew!
Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.
Those who quote me are fools.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there!
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot!
Man who sit on tack get point!
Man who run behind car get exhausted!
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!
War does not determine who's right, war determine who's left.