View Full Version : George Carlin's View On Aging(NPR)

10-27-2002, 09:12 AM
Subject: view on aging

George Carlin's view on aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a
You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. . . YES!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there?

Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED, we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day

thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a complete

cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was
JUST 92." Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become

a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle.
" An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,
music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8 Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,
improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county,
to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away.
If you don't send this to at least 8 people.
Woopdeedo who cares ..

Gayle in MD
10-27-2002, 12:02 PM
Hi Sid, enjoyed your post...Here's one for you.


If only I could live my life, in complete reverse,
I think It would be very nice, to live the worst part first.
I'd have my life "Returned" to me, that would make it much more dear,
And shed responsibility, year after every year.

I'd have my health returned to me, each day better than the last,
I would appreciate vitality, having missed it in my past.

I'd watch the wrinkles disappear, from around my eyes,
And be delighted every year, to wear a smaller size.

I'd have everything I had ever had, know all I'd ever known
And always, I would be so glad, I'd never need to be shown.

And in the end I would be born, and never would I cry,
Because my friend, I'd always know, I'd never have to die!

Gayle in Md.