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View Full Version : Semenology. A little wang in your cocktail.



Sev
04-08-2013, 07:03 AM
Here ya go Fats. A new hobby for you.
Put your constant jerking off to good use.
Perhaps go to Virginia and open a store front as a rebellious statement.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/04/semen-cocktails_n_3018057.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News
Semen Cocktails: New Cookbook, 'Semenology,' Provides Recipes, Storage Tips And More

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1071718/thumbs/r-SEMEN-COCKTAILS-large570.jpg?13

We've seen some strange food trends in our day. But this one absolutely, positively, beyond any shadow of a doubt, takes the cake.

In his new book "Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook," Bay Area author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer details the benefits of bartending with, you guessed it, human semen.

A follow-up to his first book, "Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes," "Semenology" is what Photenhauer describes as "the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits."

In the book, Photenhauer provides semen storage and flavor enhancement tips, as well as plenty of deliciously titled recipes like the Macho Mojito, the Slightly Saltier Caviar and the Galliano Cum Shot. (We couldn't make this stuff up.)

But why?

Photenhauer argues that the complexities of semen could be compared to those in wine or cheese, and that the ingredient adds a special "personal touch."

"People eat all kinds of weird stuff," Photenhauer told SF Weekly's Anna Roth in an interview. "Eggs are the menstruation of chickens. Milk is the mammary excretion from cows. Semen is…at least it's fresh and you know who the producer is."

However, in his interview with the Weekly, Photenhauer was sure to cite the precautions.

"I would never eat or drink semen, cooked or otherwise, from someone I wouldn’t be willing to have sex with," he said.

Bottoms up, everyone!

WV Slim Shady
04-08-2013, 10:31 AM
You all in franklin have some strange ways.

DiabloViejo
04-08-2013, 12:08 PM
Sev I'll leave the masturbation, homosexual oral sex, and semen ingestion to you. I hear you enjoy it. Don't project your urges and behavioral modes onto me. By the way have I told you lately that you're a disgusting p.o.s.?

hondo
04-08-2013, 01:45 PM
Diablo, have you noticed that larry or co or cuejoey or whoever johnny/ slim is now has them exchanging posts with each other every minute?
Pure comedy gold!

JohnnyD
04-08-2013, 02:33 PM
Diablo, have you noticed that larry or co or cuejoey or whoever johnny/ slim is now has them exchanging posts with each other every minute?
Pure comedy gold!
Why do you pick up boys hitch hiking?Why did that boy run for his life away from you?

DiabloViejo
04-08-2013, 02:59 PM
Diablo, have you noticed that larry or co or cuejoey or whoever johnny/ slim is now has them exchanging posts with each other every minute?
Pure comedy gold!

Yeah, LWW must be off his meds again and things are probably quite boring over at Mr.Wilson's Internet Memorial Home for The Politically Deranged. Even the most hardcore wing nuts eventually get tired of their echo chamber stuff, that goes sort of like this: :lol:

"I hate Obama.
I hate Obama even more.
Well I hate Obama three times more than both of you.
I hate Obama to infinity x 2.
OK...
I hate people who bitch about their kids getting their brains splattered by a bullet at their first grade class.
Yeah I hate those liberal crying wuzzies too.
Yeah Obama's gonna take my guns..I hate Obama.
Yeah I hate Obama too.
I hate liberals,
I hate sluts,
I hate oral sex,
I hate dembots,
I hate education,
I hate Social Security,
I hate everything, except tax cuts for the rich!
And I do love austerity for the rest of us!
Well said. I hate that the hateful liberal scum doesn't agree with us good patriotic fascists.
Yeah I hate that too.
BTW did I say I hate Obama?"

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/561304_262145403922412_1351890503_n.jpg

Sev
04-08-2013, 03:34 PM
Sev I'll leave the masturbation, homosexual oral sex, and semen ingestion to you. I hear you enjoy it. Don't project your urges and behavioral modes onto me. By the way have I told you lately that you a disgusting p.o.s.?

Ewww OWE EWWW!!! :violin:

At least get your grammar correct if your going to attempt to insult me.

DiabloViejo
04-08-2013, 04:02 PM
Ewww OWE EWWW!!! :violin:

At least get your grammar correct if your going to attempt to insult me.

I don't need to insult you. You do it yourself, and oh so very well I might add. BTW I'm concerned about your semen consumption fetish, is that Kosher? What about cheese; you eat that too? :peaceful:

Sev
04-08-2013, 04:18 PM
No need to worry Fats. I'm a pitcher.
And those that receive are treated to a kosher injection.

Your concern is noted though.

cushioncrawler
04-08-2013, 05:33 PM
The Benefits of Swallowing - Drink of the Living Water
Aside from swallowing semen as a measure to prevent the waste and spillage of seed, ingesting ejaculate can have spiritual benefits, as we will see. Although the Old Testament makes reference to the bitterness of semen (And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water. [Numbers 5:24]), the New Testament casts the act of consuming ejaculate in a much more affirming light, as in the following passage, where Jesus speaks to the woman of Samaria about the gift of ?living water?:

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, "Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." 11 The woman said to him, "Sir, you have no bucket, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water?...15 The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water, so that I may never be thirsty or have to keep coming here to draw water." 16 Jesus said to her, "Go, call your husband, and come back." (John 4:10-16)
?Living water? in this context refers to semen, which literally is the liquid of life. As Christ indicates, drinking of the ?living water? provides a spiritual replenishment for the soul. When the woman asks Jesus where she can get this ?water?, he tells her to fetch her husband, clearly with the intention of instructing her on how to fellate him and swallow his semen.

Oral Sex in Christ
In summary, we can say that the Scripture supports and even encourages the act of oral sex between loving heterosexual partners. Moreover, the Bible specifically encourages fellatio to completion (orgasm) with the female partner consuming or swallowing the ejaculate. This prevents spilling seed, which is an affront to the Lord, and also provides spiritual benefit to the receiving partner. Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage. For these reasons, all Christian men and women should feel confident and comfortable including oral sex as part of their sexual life in accordance with God?s will.

cushioncrawler
04-08-2013, 05:34 PM
The Necessity of Swallowing - The Sin of Spilling Seed
Most of us are familiar with the Biblical story of Onan, whose sin against God was that of spilling his seed on the ground:

And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. (Genesis 38:9)
This scriptural passage has traditionally been used as an injunction against masturbation. However, upon closer reading, it becomes apparent that this scenario has nothing to do with masturbation at all. Onan was not masturbating; he was copulating with his brother?s wife (and there was a good reason for that, in God?s plan). His sin was pulling out (coitus interruptus) and ejaculating on the ground rather than into the woman. He did so in order to avoid impregnating her. However, he could have easily avoided God?s wrath (and the penalty of death), by simply having the woman fellate him and then swallow his semen. This would have kept him from impregnating her, as well as completely prevented the spilling of seed that was an offense in God?s eyes.

The extreme case of Onan aside, how bad is it in general to spill semen? The Old Testament ranks it with other acts of uncleanliness that meet with God?s disapproval: And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. 17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. (Leviticus 15:16-17) Getting ejaculate on oneself or one?s clothing results in uncleanness that requires extensive reparations and atonement. Obviously one simple way to prevent the spillage of semen is to have your partner perform fellatio and swallow the emission. In fact, in light of these scriptures, performing fellatio to completion and then spitting out the resulting emission seems almost unthinkable.

cushioncrawler
04-08-2013, 05:35 PM
Since the publication of our original article on anal sex and God?s will, we have received several inquiries asking to clarify God?s position concerning oral sex. We are gratified that so many Christians are hungry for the word of the Lord and are actively seeking the Truth so that they may fulfill His plan in all areas of their lives.

The Good News About Oral Sex
Like anal sex, oral sex is the subject of much confusion and disagreement among the faithful. There are those who say that oral sex is unnatural because God did not intend our mouths to be used in such a manner. Others associate oral-genital contact with the sexual depravities of Sodom and Gomorrah. As you will see in the Scripture, neither one of these views is supported. Not only that, but oral sex has benefits that are of particular importance to Christians: oral sex allows the natural prevention of unwanted pregnancy and is an alternative to premarital intercourse for those committed to preserving their chastity before marriage.

There is nothing in the Bible that forbids engaging in acts of oral-genital contact. Oral sex has wrongly been grouped in with ?sodomy? and the sexual sins of Sodom and Gomorrah. As we have seen with anal sex, this argument does not hold water, because the sins of the Sodomites were specifically homosexual and/or nonconsensual in nature. There is no way this could be extrapolated to argue against a heterosexual act of oral sex for mutual pleasure. On the other hand, the Bible does contain some favorable references to oral sex, some in poetic language and some more explicit.

cushioncrawler
04-08-2013, 05:35 PM
?His Fruit Was Sweet to My Taste?
In Christian discussions concerning oral sex, the Song of Solomon is most frequently cited as an example of scriptural allusion to the act: Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men. In his shade I took great delight and sat down, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)

While the previous passage refers to fellatio, the following can be read as a metaphor for cunnilingus: Awake, O north wind, and come, wind of the south; make my garden breathe out fragrance, let its spices be wafted abroad. May my beloved come into his garden and eat its choice fruits! (Song of Solomon 4:16)

And again, the Song of Solomon urges lovers to eat and drink freely of one another?s bodies: I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse: I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk: eat, O friends; drink, yea, drink abundantly, O beloved. (Song of Solomon 5:1) This reading of the scriptures portrays the act of oral sex as both natural, like eating, and a joyful expression of love, passion, and sexual sharing between a man and woman.

In the New Testament, this passage directs partners to render ?benevolence? to one another, which can be extended to performing oral sex on each other as part of their duty to the Lord and one another: Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. (Corinthians 7:33) Not only does this passage imply that oral sex between a man and woman is acceptable and desirable, but as we shall see, the Bible also provides more specific edicts concerning the completion of the oral sex act, namely swallowing the male emission.

hondo
04-08-2013, 06:07 PM
Yeah, LWW must be off his meds again and things are probably quite boring over at Mr.Wilson's Internet Memorial Home for The Politically Deranged. Even the most hardcore wing nuts eventually get tired of their echo chamber stuff, that goes sort of like this: :lol:

"I hate Obama.
I hate Obama even more.
Well I hate Obama three times more than both of you.
I hate Obama to infinity x 2.
OK...
I hate people who bitch about their kids getting their brains splattered by a bullet at their first grade class.
Yeah I hate those liberal crying wuzzies too.
Yeah Obama's gonna take my guns..I hate Obama.
Yeah I hate Obama too.
I hate liberals,
I hate sluts,
I hate oral sex,
I hate dembots,
I hate education,
I hate Social Security,
I hate everything, except tax cuts for the rich!
And I do love austerity for the rest of us!
Well said. I hate that the hateful liberal scum doesn't agree with us good patriotic fascists.
Yeah I hate that too.
BTW did I say I hate Obama?"

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/561304_262145403922412_1351890503_n.jpg


You left out a big one that they deny but is obvious. They hate blacks.

DiabloViejo
04-08-2013, 07:14 PM
You left out a big one that they deny but is obvious. They hate blacks.

Yeah they hate blacks, and they hate Latinos, and they hate Arabs, and just about everyone else. I'm sure they all have a dog eared copies of Mein Kampf and The Turner Diaries that they read while listening to Wagner, fondling their AR15's, and masturbating furiously. :tinfoil3::madgrin:

Sev
04-09-2013, 01:15 PM
Your the best Mac. :rofl:

cushioncrawler
04-09-2013, 03:08 PM
I woz one of the altar boys that the kathlick church rejekts.
mac. gulp.

cushioncrawler
04-09-2013, 03:10 PM
Ejakulation iz an offense in God's eyes -- but i never reech that far.
mac.

Soflasnapper
04-09-2013, 03:17 PM
Ejakulation iz an offense in God's eyes -- but i never reech that far.
mac.

Sure, but as God is everywhere.... (!)

You probably do splatter His Eye, offensively!

Sev
04-10-2013, 06:06 AM
Ejakulation iz an offense in God's eyes -- but i never reech that far.
mac.

Came up short??? :)

hondo
04-10-2013, 08:13 AM
I woz one of the altar boys that the kathlick church rejekts.
mac. gulp.

Explains a lot actually!

WV Slim Shady
04-10-2013, 09:09 AM
Theys a whole lotta dinky dau folks around here.

cushioncrawler
04-10-2013, 04:19 PM
Explains a lot actually!I koodnt swallow latin.
mac.

hondo
04-10-2013, 09:44 PM
I koodnt swallow latin.
mac.

That was all?