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DiabloViejo
05-24-2013, 09:02 PM
Part I:

80 Proof Bottle Of Tear Stopper
All I Want From You
All My Exes Live In Texas
Am I Double Parked By The Curbstone Of Your Heart?
At The Gas Station Of Love, I Got The Self Service Pump
Bubba Shot The Jukebox
Cow Cow Boogie
Did I Shave My Legs For This?
Don't Believe My Heart Can Stand Another You
Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' With Lovin' On Yo-Mind
Don't Squeeze My Sharmon
Don't Strike A Match To The Book Of Love
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Get The Hammer Mama, There's A Head On Papa's Fly
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed
Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Go Back To Texas And Cheesey French Fry Lake
Guess My Eyes Were Bigger Than My Heart
Her Only Bad Habit Is Me
Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
Hold On To Your Men, 'Cause She's Single Again
How Can I Get Over You If You Won't Get Out From Under Me?
How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You, When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
How Come Your Dog Don't Bite Nobody But Me?
I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Don't Do Floors
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Gave Her My Heart And A Diamond And She Clubbed Me With A Spade
I Gave Her The Ring, And She Gave Me The Finger
I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2
I Got Tears In My Ears From Lying On My Bed Crying On My Pillow Over You
I Got The Hungries For Your Love, And I'm Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
I Got Through Everything But The Door
I Guess I Had Your Leavin' Coming
I Hate Every Bone In Your Body Except Mine.
I Just Bought A Car From A Guy That Stole My Girl, But The Car Don't Run, So I Figure We Got An Even Deal.
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well.
I May Be Used, But Baby I Ain't Used Up
I Sat Down On A Bear Trap (Just This Morning)
I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin Better
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Want A Beer As Cold As My Ex-Wife's Heart
I Wanted You To Leave Until You Left Me
I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back To See If I Was Looking Back To See If You Were Looking Back At Me
I Went Back To My Fourth Wife For The Third Time And Gave Her A Second Chance To Make A First Class Fool Out Of Me
I Wish I Were A Woman (So I Could Go Out With A Guy Like Me)
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Would Kiss You Through The Screen Door But It'd Strain Our Love
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Like To Check You For Ticks
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here.
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Thru You
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
I'd Like You A Whole Lot Better If We Slept Together
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'd Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart Than A Pretty Boy Sing
I'd Rather Pass A Kidney Stone Than Another Night With You
If Fingerprints Showed Up On Skin, Wonder Whose I'd Find On You
If I Ain't Got It, You Don't Need It
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If I Had A Nose Full Of Nickels, I'd Sneeze Them All Atchoo
If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out By Now.
If I Were In Your Shoes, I'd Walk Right Back To Me
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full Of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If She Hadn't Been So Good Lookin' I Might Have Seen The Train
If The Jukebox Took Teardrops
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If Whiskey Were A Woman, I'd Be Married For Sure
If You Can't Feel It, It Ain't There
If You Can't Be Good, Son, Be Good At It
If You Can't Bite, Don't Growl
If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?

DiabloViejo
05-24-2013, 09:06 PM
Part II:

If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
If You Don't Leave Me, I'll Find Someone Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
If You Really Loved Me, You'd Leave
If You See Me Gettin' Smaller, It's Cause I'm Leavin' You
I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him
I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
I'll Tennessee You In My Dreams
I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home
I'm Gonna Put A Aar In The Back Of My Car And Drive Myself To Drink
I'm Here To Get My Baby Out Of Jail
I'm Quittin' Wild Turkey Cold Turkey
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I'm Under The Table Over You
It Ain't Love, But It Ain't Bad
It Ain't Easy Being Easy
It Only Takes One Bar (To Make A Prison)
It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
It's Not The High Cost Of Living, It's The Cost Of Living High
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
I've Got $5 And It's Saturday Night
I've Got The Cob, If You've Got The Corn
Jim, I Wore A Tie Today
Lay Something On My Bed Besides A Blanket
Make Me Late For Work Today
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Baby's Head)
Mommy, Can I Still Call Him Daddy?
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
My Phone Ain't Been Ringing, So I Guess It Wasn't You
My Red Neck, My White Socks, And My Blue Ribbon Beer
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him
Nashville Rash
Occasional Wife
Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You
Our Love Is Illegal, Cause Our Names Ain't The Same
Overlonely And Underkissed
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
Phantom Of The Opry
Pick Me Up On Your Way Down
Please Bypass This Heart.
Poultry Promenade
Queen Of My Doublewide Trailer
Redneck Martians Stole My Baby
Refried Dreams
She Feels Like A New Man Tonight
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy
She Walked Across My Heart Like It Was Texas
She's Actin' Single... I'm Drinkin' Doubles
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
She's Got The Rhythm (And I Got The Blues)
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
Thanks To The Cathouse, I'm In The Doghouse With You
The Bridge Washed Out And I Can't Swim And My Baby's On The Other Side
The Last Word In 'Lonesome' Is 'Me'
The Man That Came Between Us (Was Me)
The Pint Of No Return
There Ain't Enough Room In My Fruit Of The Looms To Hold All My Lovin' For You
There's A Tear In My Beer
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Tight Fittin' Jeans
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
Trainwreck Of Emotion
Up Against The Wall, Redneck Mother
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
Waitin' In Your Welfare Line
What Made Milwaukee Famous Has Made A Loser Out Of Me
When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
Who's Gonna Mow Your Grass?
Who's Gonna Take The Garbage Out When I'm Dead And Gone?
Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
Why Did You Leave The One You Left Me For?

DiabloViejo
05-24-2013, 09:08 PM
Part III:

Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?
Why Don't We Get Drunk And Screw?
Would Jesus Wear A Rolex On His Television Show?
Yard Sale
You Can Lock Me Up In Jail & Throw Away The Key, But You Can't Keep My Face From Breaking Out
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Stuck My Heart In An Old Tin Can And Shot It Off A Log
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Banister Of Life
You're A Cross I Can't Bear
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
Your Negligee Has Turned To Flannel Nightgowns
You're A Hangnail On My Heart And I'm Gonna Cut You Off
You're A Hard Dog To Keep Under The Porch
You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation
You're Out Of Step (With The Beat Of My Heart)
You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
You've Already Put Big Old Tears In My Eyes, Must You Throw Dirt In My Face?

hondo
05-25-2013, 05:30 AM
I'm home getting hammered while you're out getting nailed.

JohnnyD
05-27-2013, 06:10 PM
I'm home getting hammered while you're out getting nailed.

From a supposed former school teacher and now a supposed sunday school teacher!

The truth is the truth.The truth will set you free.