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nAz
11-20-2002, 12:37 AM
A little something for your morning smile
>
>
> If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced
> enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
> >(Hardly seems worth it.)
>
>
>
> If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced
> to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)
> The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to
> squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
> A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
> A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to
> death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)
> Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try
> this at home...... maybe at work.)
> The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its
> body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey,
I'm
> home. What the....?!")
>
>
> The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the
> length of a football field. (30 minutes... lucky pig.. can you imagine??)
> The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the
> bottom of a pond?)
> Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next
> life...quality over quantity)
> Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.
> Federal Government gave a $5 million grant to find this out.)
> The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm........)
> Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
> people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
> Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a
> good thing....)
> A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure
> that out?)
> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
> Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)
> Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
> Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What
> about that pig??)

nAz
11-23-2004, 02:22 PM
bump

wolfdancer
11-23-2004, 02:28 PM
"A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes.

nAz
11-23-2004, 02:29 PM
LMAO! /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 08:04 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."<hr /></blockquote>
Whoa baby! I wonder how long it takes them to reach the Big O.

SpiderMan
11-24-2004, 09:11 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes. <hr /></blockquote>

Required reading for every high-school kid - Warning signs from your mom's description that her "best friend's sweet daughter" will be a pig:

1) She has a wonderful personality
2) Great little cook
3) Makes ALL of her own clothes
4) The girls just love her

I'm sure there are more, but the above four should be enough to say "run like hell", "double coyote" (that's where, later in the day, you chew your remaining arm off because you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man) /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

SpiderMan

dtomasi
11-24-2004, 09:24 AM
About the pig. Does the 30 minute rule apply to both genders or just one? If just one, which one? And finally, if it applies to males, can you imagine the size of that prostate?!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Chopstick
11-24-2004, 10:31 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SpiderMan:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."
I've been to bed with a few pigs, but never knew this. I usually left after 4 or 5 minutes. <hr /></blockquote>

Required reading for every high-school kid - Warning signs from your mom's description that her "best friend's sweet daughter" will be a pig:

1) She has a wonderful personality
2) Great little cook
3) Makes ALL of her own clothes
4) The girls just love her

I'm sure there are more, but the above four should be enough to say "run like hell", "double coyote" (that's where, later in the day, you chew your remaining arm off because you know she'll be looking for a one-armed man) /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

SpiderMan <hr /></blockquote>

Don't forget the catch all..Well, she's cute. I once had a friend talk me into a blind date who was "real cute". When she answered the door she faced two feet to my right and said I'm pleased to meet you. She really was blind.

nAz
11-24-2004, 11:03 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote wolfdancer:</font><hr> "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."<hr /></blockquote>
Whoa baby! I wonder how long it takes them to reach the Big O. <hr /></blockquote>

Lets find out Friday. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

My next life i plan on coming back as a full fledge pig, or a republican. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

wolfdancer
11-24-2004, 11:54 AM
"wonder how long.."
Who cares? That's their problem, I had already solved mine...

Using a golf analogy...if the three losers that the starter has put you out with...are still putting for double-bogies on the 18th ...and you've already holed out....why stick around?

wolfdancer
11-24-2004, 12:48 PM
Spidey....the problem is that these four attributes are just not enough to find your soul-mate...like they say over at emode. Here's some of the things you should look for:
1. ruciraananaam - whose face is charming
2. hriyaa, vriiDaa - shy
3. satii - exalted, of saintly character
4. buddhi - possessing intelligence
5. lakSana - possessing auspicious bodily markings
6. audaarya - magnanimous
7. Siila - of proper behavior
8. sadRSiiM bhaaryaaM - an ideal wife
9. deviim - the divine goddess
10. asitaapaaNgii - dark-eyed
11. mohiniim - enchanting
12. mahatii - aristocratic
13. dhiiraa - sober-minded
14. kulavatii - of good family
15. lakSaNaabhijn~aa - an expert knower of bodily symptoms
16. aaraadhito - having rendered devotional service
17. mat-paraam, aatmaarpitaS - dedicated exclusively to Krishna
18. anavadyaaNgiim, Sobhaam - of flawless beauty
19. Sucismitaa - sweetly smiling
20. varaaroha - of lovely hips
21. bimba-phala-adhara - glowing bimba red lips
22. Syaamaa - firm breasts
23. calantiim kalahaMsa - walking with the motions of a royal swan
24. su madhyamam - shapely waist
25. govinda-hRtamaanasaa - whose mind is stolen by Krishna
26. gunASrayaam - a repository of all other good qualities

I like the firm breasts, shapely waist, and the bimbo red lips, or was that bimba?.. the best

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 01:03 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr>Lets find out Friday. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif<hr /></blockquote>Wouldn't you like to know! Hahahahahahaha. Keep dreaming...

nAz
11-24-2004, 01:06 PM
no licky licky yum yum /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif
Oink oink!

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 01:09 PM
So that's what you're calling it nowadays?

No B.C.L.

nAz
11-24-2004, 01:11 PM
I live with and will die a BCL and so could you. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 01:20 PM
Really. I don't think I've got what it takes to be a BCL. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

nAz
11-24-2004, 01:26 PM
maybe in your next life, in the mean time enjoy the ride /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 01:28 PM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

nAz
11-24-2004, 02:05 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif <hr /></blockquote>
sort of gives yopu more things to ponder eh?

9 Ball Girl
11-24-2004, 03:43 PM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

kyle
11-24-2004, 03:54 PM
pigs, like the saying goes; like mopeds there fun to ride until your friends catch you.
ps. b.c.l???