rackmup
11-21-2002, 12:36 PM
So...you've been waiting all week to hit the pool-hall. You've played out several different scenarios in your head and you are the victorious one in all of them.
You head home from work, shower, and change into your 'lucky' pool clothes and speed off to the PH on the other side of town.
Upon arrival, you discover that you were so hyped about playing, that you left your cue case leaning against the wall at home. Do you drive back or play with a 'house cue'?
You decide against the drive home and begin the search for a decent cue. Quickly you discover that house cues that are straight have no tips. Those with tips look like a pole-vaulter's pole during mid-leap. But you persevere and find a straight cue with a nice, rounded tip.
You are now ready to match up with your opponent. You agree on $10 per game. Quickly you find yourself down several games and decide to blame it on the stick. You search for another but to no avail. Down $50, $60...a HUNDRED!
You call it quits and reach for your wallet to pay off your opponent. Uh oh...not there! Your mind flashes back to home where you see your wallet resting in the pants you wore to work. You give the guy your watch as collateral.
You decide that the night just isn't to be yours so you head back out to your car and reach for your keys. No keys. You remember that you were listening to your favorite song (Paradise by the Dashboard Lights) as you parked at the pool-hall and damn it! You locked them in the ignition.
About one hour later, after a frantic search for a coat hanger, you pop the lock on your car. Guess what? The keys aren't in your ignition. Guess what else? The car you just broke into isn't your car! How do you know this? The Police Officer that just placed you in cuffs tells you so.
After telling your side of the story, the cop believes you and lets you go, only after you agree to pay the owner of the car for the damaged weather stripping and scratched paint her car suffered while you were playing 'McGyver'.
You waltz over to your vehicle, check the license plate to ensure that it is yours and discover the keys aren't in the ignition. You go back into the pool-hall and find your keys lying next to your beer. As you are leaving to go back out to your car, the cocktail server asks if you plan on paying for your beer. You give her your ring as collateral.
Driving home, you get a ticket for speeding. When you finally get home, you walk inside and find that your dog has chewed through your cue case shoulder strap. Your wallet too. Dogs like leather. You take the dog out for a walk and further discover (through keen observation) as the dog does 'her business' that she not only likes the taste of leather but the taste of the cash that was in your wallet. $286.00 gone.
You get back to your apartment and discover you left your keys inside and locked yourself out. Great.
Born out of frustration, you begin pounding on the door...
Pounding...
Pounding...
You wake up, discover all of this is a dream but the pounding continues. It's the UPS guy at your door with a package; a package from a friend that contains imported coffee beans.
You sign for it, glance reassuringly at your intact wallet and cue case. Your pooch is sleeping passively on the floor. All is good.
What did I learn from this experience? Heed the directions on the bottle of NyQuil:
"Do not exceed four dosages in any 24 hour period"
I will never, I repeat, NEVER, drink the entire bottle again.
Regards,
Ken (still feeling a little woozy)
You head home from work, shower, and change into your 'lucky' pool clothes and speed off to the PH on the other side of town.
Upon arrival, you discover that you were so hyped about playing, that you left your cue case leaning against the wall at home. Do you drive back or play with a 'house cue'?
You decide against the drive home and begin the search for a decent cue. Quickly you discover that house cues that are straight have no tips. Those with tips look like a pole-vaulter's pole during mid-leap. But you persevere and find a straight cue with a nice, rounded tip.
You are now ready to match up with your opponent. You agree on $10 per game. Quickly you find yourself down several games and decide to blame it on the stick. You search for another but to no avail. Down $50, $60...a HUNDRED!
You call it quits and reach for your wallet to pay off your opponent. Uh oh...not there! Your mind flashes back to home where you see your wallet resting in the pants you wore to work. You give the guy your watch as collateral.
You decide that the night just isn't to be yours so you head back out to your car and reach for your keys. No keys. You remember that you were listening to your favorite song (Paradise by the Dashboard Lights) as you parked at the pool-hall and damn it! You locked them in the ignition.
About one hour later, after a frantic search for a coat hanger, you pop the lock on your car. Guess what? The keys aren't in your ignition. Guess what else? The car you just broke into isn't your car! How do you know this? The Police Officer that just placed you in cuffs tells you so.
After telling your side of the story, the cop believes you and lets you go, only after you agree to pay the owner of the car for the damaged weather stripping and scratched paint her car suffered while you were playing 'McGyver'.
You waltz over to your vehicle, check the license plate to ensure that it is yours and discover the keys aren't in the ignition. You go back into the pool-hall and find your keys lying next to your beer. As you are leaving to go back out to your car, the cocktail server asks if you plan on paying for your beer. You give her your ring as collateral.
Driving home, you get a ticket for speeding. When you finally get home, you walk inside and find that your dog has chewed through your cue case shoulder strap. Your wallet too. Dogs like leather. You take the dog out for a walk and further discover (through keen observation) as the dog does 'her business' that she not only likes the taste of leather but the taste of the cash that was in your wallet. $286.00 gone.
You get back to your apartment and discover you left your keys inside and locked yourself out. Great.
Born out of frustration, you begin pounding on the door...
Pounding...
Pounding...
You wake up, discover all of this is a dream but the pounding continues. It's the UPS guy at your door with a package; a package from a friend that contains imported coffee beans.
You sign for it, glance reassuringly at your intact wallet and cue case. Your pooch is sleeping passively on the floor. All is good.
What did I learn from this experience? Heed the directions on the bottle of NyQuil:
"Do not exceed four dosages in any 24 hour period"
I will never, I repeat, NEVER, drink the entire bottle again.
Regards,
Ken (still feeling a little woozy)