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Kato
12-12-2002, 09:51 AM
How does one go about balancing a life with both pool and a non-pool playing girlfriend? We've talked about it and all and she knows that eventually I'm going to start playing again. Do you guys hatchet out an agreement? Is there a schedule? Is it just a mutual understanding?

Kato

Wally_in_Cincy
12-12-2002, 10:33 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> How does one go about balancing a life with both pool and a non-pool playing girlfriend? We've talked about it and all and she knows that eventually I'm going to start playing again. Do you guys hatchet out an agreement? Is there a schedule? Is it just a mutual understanding?

Kato <hr /></blockquote>

Obviously it's better if it's a mutual agreement. But if you can't reach one you're going to have to take unilateral action.

Tell her you're gonna play 2 nights a week and one weekend afternoon. If she dumps you because of that she's too needy anyway. Actually all women are needy I think. They wanna be with you EVERY FREAKIN' MINUTE for Pete's sake /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Or you could get her to start playing. If you play in a handicapped league your team probably needs a low handicap.

The longer you wait the harder it's gonna be. She gets used to being your total center of attention and then you start back up with your "mistress" as G. Fels calls her.

Hell don't listen to me. All my good girlfriends/wives eventually dumped me except for the current one.

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 10:46 AM
Hey now! I was almost dumped by my BF (who's my ex now and some of you met in VA) because all I wanted to do was play pool EVERYDAY. Jesus, the way these guys always want the woman to be around. Ha! Instead, I stopped playing for about 5-6 years 'cause of him. You see what we have to do for you men /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif. Well, I didn't really have to but I was trying to salvage the relationship. I'm shaking my head as I write this 'cause I'm thinking back now and it was just so silly to stop doing what I loved.

Kato, honey, she already knew you were into pool so it should not come to a surprise when you get your desire back to play again. All I can say is that it was a BIG mistake to stop the way I did. I know you won't let 5-6 years go by without playing.

Wally_in_Cincy
12-12-2002, 10:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr>
...all I wanted to do was play pool EVERYDAY...<hr /></blockquote>

will you marry me? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Perk
12-12-2002, 11:07 AM
I like the comment regarding setting a schedule..2 weekdays and 1 weekend..lol...I have a schedule...pool league monday night...softball/pool tournament wedneday...then I try to fit in more pool during the week...

My prob is that I want to play pool ALOT...and I find that I am trying to stay home to be conscious of the relationship. The problem arises, that I get bitter that I have to stay home when there is a 20 entry tourney 45 minutes away...So I end up in a bad mood sitting at home to spend quality time, and in reality, I wish I was out shooting pool....Its not as bad anymore, cause with our new house, I have a table setup again...

&lt;--of course, I find myself POUNDING the rack trying to relieve the stresses of "hold the baby, take out the dog, answer the phone, damn dont you want to be sit down with me (no, i dont want to watch lifetime)".....Wishing I could go shoot Pool at the pool hall!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 11:08 AM
Yes. Yes I will. http://mbpower.m4driving.sm/smilies/otn/love/smlove2.gif

Rich R.
12-12-2002, 11:24 AM
Kato, try to get her involved.
Attempt to teach her how to play, she may like it. If you can't teach her, I heard there is a good instructor in Miami that may help. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

If she doesn't want to play, she can still have a lot of fun, just being around the people. Take her with you on your league nights, or other nights that you want to go to the pool room. You can teach her enough about the game, without playing, to appreciate watching. Also, try taking her to watch some tournaments, especially ladies tournaments. She will find out that playing pool is not the macho thing non-players think. She will learn that many other women enjoy pool. Without playing, she can still develop an interest in the sport and enjoy the people.

Although I have made some small inroads, I can't say that I have had a lot of success in getting my wife to play. She has her own cue sticks and a case that would make many drool. But she just hasn't gotten the real desire to play. However, she does enjoy the people that we have met in connection with pool and she enjoys going to tournaments. She understands more about the game than some of the people on this board. Pool needs fans as well as players.

Don't make pool an activity that excludes your lady. Include her and you may be pleasantly surprised. /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif At least until she kicks your a$$ on the table. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Perk
12-12-2002, 11:28 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Rich R.:</font><hr> At least until she kicks your a$$ on the table. /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif <hr /></blockquote>

In my case...sometimes, I let off and and allow my g/f to win...She wont let me hear the end of it...When your running games all night in a bar, and she is the one that beats ya,,,like its an accomplishment....

&lt;--Perky just goes with the flow.

silverbullet
12-12-2002, 11:49 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Hey now! I was almost dumped by my BF (who's my ex now and some of you met in VA) because all I wanted to do was play pool EVERYDAY. Jesus, the way these guys always want the woman to be around. Ha! Instead, I stopped playing for about 5-6 years 'cause of him. You see what we have to do for you men /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif. Well, I didn't really have to but I was trying to salvage the relationship. I'm shaking my head as I write this 'cause I'm thinking back now and it was just so silly to stop doing what I loved.

Kato, honey, she already knew you were into pool so it should not come to a surprise when you get your desire back to play again. All I can say is that it was a BIG mistake to stop the way I did. I know you won't let 5-6 years go by without playing. <hr /></blockquote>

hey this can be really tuff. i have such a free spirit and at the same time a desire to please. with a so i have given things up only to then be so smothered i did anything to get rid of them even looking llike the bitch so i could go back to what i loved, which is mostly being able to do what i want.

if ray and i did not both love pool and if he did not support my love of wolves and dogs then we would both be single. love isnt enuff for me. it has to be there but the two have to be separate not intertwined. i guess this applies to marriage or committed relationships.

my 29 year old son is going thru his first serious heart break because he was holdin on too tight. dont know where that will end up, work out or not, but have sure had him in my heavy heart when this came up. it is so tough when your kid is hurting and nothing you can do.

to kato, be you, if you become too immeshed,you will only end up pushing her away or having a miserable relationship . why not take her to dinner at a pool hall and show her how to play a little, have fun and see how it goes.

good luck

blu

Wally_in_Cincy
12-12-2002, 11:52 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Yes. Yes I will. http://mbpower.m4driving.sm/smilies/otn/love/smlove2.gif <hr /></blockquote>

http://i.disney.go.com/disneygo/desktopstop/beauty/imgs/beauty_preview_01_pics.gif

hee hee

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 11:58 AM
http://smilies.crowd9.com/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif

Fred Agnir
12-12-2002, 12:03 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> How does one go about balancing a life with both pool and a non-pool playing girlfriend? <hr /></blockquote>
You have both?

[ QUOTE ]
We've talked about it and all and she knows that eventually I'm going to start playing again. Do you guys hatchet out an agreement? Is there a schedule? Is it just a mutual understanding? <hr /></blockquote>
Just piss her off so that she's glad you're out of the house a few days a week.

Fred &lt;~~~ marriage counselor-in-training

eg8r
12-12-2002, 12:55 PM
Kato,
Remember if the pool thing never comes back at least you still have the 'Canes and the Dolphins. LOL

Back to the thread... My wife and I started out a little rocky with the pool thing because she did not like to sit and watch and she did not want to learn to play better. When we first started dating I was away at school and when I came home I spent the time with her since I could play all week at school. When I moved home is when it got a little shaky. I wanted to go play every night and weekend and she built up a resentment to the pool hall. To fix the problem, my bro in law (who I played pool with all the time) decided to let the girls go out when we went to play pool. Before hand they were staying at home with the kids. Now Brian would get a babysitter for his kids and Heather and Gina went out to the clubs or what not. When we moved out here to Texas, I really had a problem because Heather still did not like going to the pool hall and I was bored to death sitting at the house. Well, when I met Ken and OPC I knew Heather would enjoy their company and invited/prodded her to come up and meet them. Well, Heather has taken a 180 degree turn for the better. She really enjoys coming up to the PH because she is able to play on a team with either Ken or OPC as her partner and she feels no pressure to play well. She is just out having fun and there are many times where she will sit there and chat for hours on end and never pick up the pool cue.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is pretty tough dating when the other is not that interested in the game. I have found the answer in my situation and that was to find people that Heather is comfortable hanging out with at the pool hall. Also, Heather enjoyed playing pool until her and I got together and then she felt pressured to play and play well since it was such a passion of mine. Now that she sees she can come to the pool hall and not feel pressured she enjoys it. She is welcome to play when she feels like it but she is more content to sit there and chat.

eg8r &lt;~~~Considers himself lucky /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Kato
12-12-2002, 01:55 PM
/ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gifFred, if I follow your advice I think I'll be out on my A$$. /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif

She did meet me at the pool room last night and I played the entire time she was there. She actually invited a friend from up the street and they chatted it up. I bought them both 70 beers and all was good. I've introduced her to lots of people and she gets along. She went to the Nationals with me and hung out with Barbara, Carol, &amp; Fran, women who play and got along well. She enjoyed the tournament because I told her stories about the girls.

She told me she wants me to play. She actually told me to ask because it's not her that's going to have a problem, it's me.

Kato

nAz
12-12-2002, 01:59 PM
hehe wally

Chris Cass
12-12-2002, 02:04 PM
Well,

I can't believe my ears. You Fla. boys are such wimps. Next you'll tell me your selling your equipment. Just remember this, I buy used cues. HAHAHAHHA

Regards,

C.C.~~wonder if the big guy will let the Szamboti go cheap? /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

nAz
12-12-2002, 02:06 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Hey now! I was almost dumped by my BF (who's my ex now and some of you met in VA) <hr /></blockquote>

So he was your BF when you went to VA.? huh hmm
men make small lies Women make BIG ass lies

Kato Play pool if she really cares for you she will not give you any grief if you want to play 10 hours a week.

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 02:19 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr> So he was your BF when you went to VA.? huh hmm
<hr /></blockquote>

No no no Nazee. He's been my ex for about 2 years now. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

nAz
12-12-2002, 02:27 PM
Liar.
nef

Kato
12-12-2002, 03:12 PM
Naz, when I come back it will be 30 hours a week.

When Wendy was in NYC she was very single and that dead beat scrub bucket was nothing more than an anchor around her ankle.

Kato

nAz
12-12-2002, 03:16 PM
30 hours is good too, maybe you can get her to joing an APA league get her into the game.


<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr>
that dead beat scrub bucket was nothing more than an anchor around her ankle. Kato <hr /></blockquote>

Dead beat!? she called him that?? Damn it thats her pet name for me !!!!



/ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif

Kato
12-12-2002, 03:21 PM
Sorry Naz, that's what I called him. He's also a nitwit.

Kato~~~I hate APA

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 03:27 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote nAz:</font><hr>Dead beat!? she called him that?? Damn it thats her pet name for me !!!!<hr /></blockquote>

Not you Nazee! He's talking about the Captain. Sheesh! You already know the names I call you /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Tom_In_Cincy
12-12-2002, 04:17 PM
JR,
I can't beleive that you are in a position that you have to make a choice.

If you want to be with her more than pool.. forget pool,

If you want to be a pool player, and you think it might break up your relationship, quit playing pool.

If you want my opinion.. I would rather have a good woman than to continue to play pool..

AND, if I were dating Wendy.. she'd never have to pay for pool again.. I would pay for it all.. just to watch her smile and be happy.

How serious is this relationship? will you be sorry you didn't play pool more in 3 months?


Then again.... if you start playing more pool after you and her have been a steady item.. she will have more free time to find a non-pool playing steady..

Hope this helps

9 Ball Girl
12-12-2002, 04:47 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Tom_In_Cincy:</font><hr> AND, if I were dating Wendy.. she'd never have to pay for pool again.. I would pay for it all.. just to watch her smile and be happy.<hr /></blockquote>

I love you Tom! Damn the law, let's get married!

Tom_In_Cincy
12-12-2002, 04:59 PM
(post deleted at the wife's request)

Barbara
12-12-2002, 06:40 PM
RJ,

Maybe you could get Katy interested in a little bar pool? Like on a bar box while you two are out on a date or just out for a drink? Play partners with her. See how that goes. Start from there.

Barbara~~~glad to be of help... /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Chris Cass
12-12-2002, 06:49 PM
Sniff, Sniff,

That brought tears to my eyes. It's so beautiful.

50% off any wedding appearel. Free pool time the day of the wedding. All persons in and or attending regular rates apply.


Cass &amp; RIP Pool Hall/ Wedding Chapel, Las Vegas Baby....Featuring, "A Legend in Excellence, Szamboti Cues." Also featuring our Master rental Cues, Szamboti, Drexler, South West, Pruitt (sp), Tad, Searing, and many more.

$50. per hr. (ding it you buy it policy in effect/ $5000. deposit required) /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Regards,

C.C.~~just a test pitch is all. Now doesn't that sound better than, RIP &amp; Cass? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Chris Cass
12-12-2002, 06:52 PM
Well,

The nuts and bolts of it is. What ever RJ wants to do I will stand by him every step of the way. What are brothers for?

Regards,

C.C.~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

nAz
12-12-2002, 08:14 PM
Kato i found a hot chick for you that likes playing pool/billiards...


Beautiful woman from Ukraine seeking lifetime companionshipDate of birth: the 20th of August, 1979
Age: 23
Height: 170 cm ~ 5ft 6"
Weight: 55 kg ~ 121 lb
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Blonde
Build body: slim
Education: university
Profession: teacher
Occupation: teacher
Smokes: No
Zodiac: Leo
Marital status: single

Languages:
English: Level 3, Understands basic written text with help of dictionary, needs complex letters translated.

In own words: I am a calm, sociable, tender person. I love children very much. I like playing billiards traveling, doing sports and horse riding, . I like exotic cuisine. I hate lies.

Seeks Partner: I am looking for an intelligent, cheerful person with different interests, who likes traveling.

Seeks Partner: 28 - 38 years old

Her location: Simferopol, Ukraine
Her contact information available: Address
Address retrieved: 21

(you owe me she looks good)
http://64.227.72.145/photo/j/jr4950.jpg

Voodoo Daddy
12-12-2002, 08:58 PM
Thats one more soakin' added to my CC list of water torture. Sell you my Szamboti?...Hell I'd give it to you if I though you knew what to do with it...meatball!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! CC is my goomba, no doubt!!

Chris Cass
12-13-2002, 02:29 AM
Came to the realization today, I'm worthless. Can't move fast enough to get a rhythm going, can't get down enough, no break left and pain sets in rendering focus and concentration a memory. That's pretty much toast. Not even a threat anymore. Your right, the Szam belongs in your hands now. I couldn't do it proud. Now, I think lets get this $hit over with. Let me get through this crap and what happens happens. Felt like a fool today.

C.C.~~knowing how a scorpion feels without his stinger..

Wally_in_Cincy
12-13-2002, 11:38 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Yes. Yes I will. http://mbpower.m4driving.sm/smilies/otn/love/smlove2.gif <hr /></blockquote>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

http://www.animation-station.com/cartoon/images/cart0041.gif

/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Voodoo Daddy
12-13-2002, 11:39 AM
Let your body do what its doing bro...its the path you gotta take so you watch that boy of yours grow old. When the smoke clears and you get your Cass-ness back...I'm still soakin ya with the water, /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif YOUR NOT GET OUTTA IT EITHER!!!

Wally_in_Cincy
12-13-2002, 11:42 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr>
I love you Tom! Damn the law, let's get married! <hr /></blockquote>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif
http://www.drunkcow.com/files/picture/46468503.jpg

/ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/frown.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

9 Ball Girl
12-13-2002, 11:48 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>http://www.animation-station.com/cartoon/images/cart0041.gif
<hr /></blockquote>

Hey Wally, is that your tail or are you just happy to see me? http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/otn/wink/wink2.gif

nAz
12-13-2002, 11:50 AM
LOL i hope thats walleys and not someone elses "tale" he is bouncing on hehehe

Fred Agnir
12-13-2002, 11:58 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> She told me she wants me to play. She actually told me to ask because it's not her that's going to have a problem, it's me.<hr /></blockquote>
This won't help, but I'll relay my story. From day one of dating, my wife knew I came with pool dragged in tow. League night was already part of the package. So, there was no need to talk about scheduling or agreements. She has only seen me play competitively once in our entire relationship, and for all she knows, I represent the average player in our pool playing community.

What she understood from day one is that pool is important to me, and not just a passing hobby. I think that many SO's simply do not understand this about their pool-playing partner because pool is viewed by the public as just a passing fancy game. For those that truly love and embrace this sport, that idea (the passion for the game) should be conveyed to their SO. Then, if they care for you, it shouldn't become an issue that pool is that much part of your life.

Fred &lt;~~~ bad influence

Wally_in_Cincy
12-13-2002, 12:09 PM
I'm crying Ha Ha Ha Ha............... /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

silverbullet
12-13-2002, 12:10 PM
I gotta love your signature voodoo daddy. I had to give up my little bike when i went bankrupt years ago but i still have my helmet and jacket. A harley is definately in my future.

hey NYC here i come. anybody there have a bike i can hitch a ride on during my visit. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

silverbullet
12-13-2002, 12:14 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> <blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>http://www.animation-station.com/cartoon/images/cart0041.gif
<hr /></blockquote>

Hey Wally, is that your tail or are you just happy to see me? http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/otn/wink/wink2.gif <hr /></blockquote>

or does it mean ummmm what it looks like it means?

Wally_in_Cincy
12-13-2002, 12:23 PM
-

Barbara
12-13-2002, 04:52 PM
Fred,

Pete and I really met at work, but knew each other from frequenting the same bar that had a 25 cent table. I would put my name up time and again. So Pete knew I wanted to play. When I got into the bar league around here (after we were married 4 years) I fell big time and he had a little problem with it at first, but that was because he didn't have his hobbies established like the woodworking he loves to do and the sailing in the summer.

It is still a passion for me, but its priority has diminished somewhat. Pete still loves to see me compete, even though it gives him white hairs and all. And he still hides little love notes of encouragement for me in my case to find when I go out of town for a tourny. In short, he encourages me to do what I want and I reciprocate. That's what's needed in any relationship.

Barbara~~~forever in love with my best friend, my husband... /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

rackmup
12-13-2002, 05:14 PM
Here's the game plan (from a guy whose longest marriage lasted three years and the shortest, six months.)

Tell her you want to take her to a 'romantic' spot.

Prior to the actual date, bribe your favorite pool hall to allow you to put a Dean Martin CD in the jukebox. Also, drop off a few roses (not an entire dozen because if this doesn't work, why be out all of that cheese?) and have them set in the center of your favorite spot at the bar (nearest your favorite table, of course.)

If you really want to go all out, make up a 'reserved' sign (a little cardboard and a Sharpie will work) and have that placed that on the table prior to your arrival.

Pick her up at her place or preferably, have her meet you at the pool hall (again, just in case this blows up in your face) so if she wants to leave, you don't have to pull up in the middle of a race-to-seven to take her home.

Upon arrival at the pool room (for tonight only, you will refer to it as the 'Billiards Bistro') have the Night Manager escort you to your table (remember...spot at the bar.) At this time, suggest that he bring you "two of your finest lagers, please." Now is the time to fire up that Deano CD.

Now, take her hand into yours and tell her just how much she means to you (embellish if you have to, lie if you must) but also explain how you are "torn between your affection for her and the only other love you have ever had since your Mother went home to meet her maker and you were raised by Monks that held services in an old pool hall."

Tell her that you need to know how she will react if you decide to go back to playing pool. Tell her you need to know this because you are meeting with your deceased Mother via the "Psychic Network" and you want to "tell Mom how great and understanding" she is. If she knows your Mom is still alive and kicking, insert another relative into the story.

Order a nice romantic basket of chicken wings and deep fried cheese sticks for dinner, get a couple more "imported Lagers" and proceed with the following:

Now is the time to get a tray of balls and play a few games together and pretend you are enjoying having her as a competitor as she miscues, whiffs on the break and doesn't even come close to making a ball unless you guide it in with your cue tip for her (come on, you need to be a little accomodating too. Remember, relationships are a 'two-way street.)

Now, finally, tell her that you are going to play someone "that isn't as much fun as you are" but you believe her "presence will bring good luck to your game."

Have someone already lined up for a race-to-three for $100.00 (this will be money you already gave to him prior to the match and he has agreed to tank three straight.)

Now, you proceed to 'beat' this guy and pocket a Benjamin. Immediately walk over and kiss her, telling her you owe this success entirely to her.

This should work but if it doesn't...dump her.

Just remember: You were looking when you found her.

Regards,

Ken (reads his own post and knows he will never have another woman again with strategies like these)

Sid_Vicious
12-13-2002, 11:47 PM
I just peeked at this thread, and maybe I'm far from anyone to advise, but I'd do two things. First, I would realize that you'll eventually lose much of the time and concentrated enjoyment of pool trying to keep a non playing GF. In my opinion you have one of two choices. 1. ANNOUNCE your intentions of playing, when and how much you'll play, NO discussions and do bargaining. 2. Don't do #1 and then suffer until you finally get enough and run her off with late arrivals to dates, covered up with lame attempts to avoid that with, "It wasn't my fault, I couldn't leave the game until..."

Water and oil, non playing women for companions...just don't mix with players...sid~~~I admit that there is the rare 1-5% of women who adjust, damn rare though

TomBrooklyn
12-14-2002, 01:49 AM
Need more information: Is this a girl you would consider marrying?

Rod
12-14-2002, 03:10 AM
Kato, don't get into this agreement stuff or a schedule, not now anyway. Let your relationship develop with a mutual understanding. You cared enough to ask so it's my bet you'll do the right thing if you really care for this lady. It's new bud give it a chance to break in, one hill at a time. There is a lot of little hills to climb up the mountain! Pool for most is a past time and should not get in the way of a relationship, job etc.

This comes from an unmarried man that was caught between a choice, and I made some poor ones. Just look at reality and you will make good decisions. Now where was that girl that said she loved me! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Take Barbara's advice, sounds like a plan to me.

CarolNYC
12-14-2002, 04:38 AM
RJ,
Apparantly you REALLY care for Katy or you would not be asking this question-and having met her, she's worth it!:)
You know how active my life is-so here it is-very easy-
What is her passion,pasttime,etc.?Whatever it is-make sure you give her, HER time for it,support toward it,whatever-Im sure she will treat your pasttime(pool) equally!(ie, you may have to sit through an opera because she sat through your poolgame!)-I would suggest if she DOES not have any interest in pool-do not try to make her play-you have to LOVE this game, as we all know!Very important-if at anytime there is some kind of family function,birthday,anniversary,etc. on your league night-you give up that ONE league night for that event! Ya know what I mean?My passion is pool, my husbands is Harleys-when its time for him to "take a ride" he goes, no question and vice versa-and it all boils down to one word for eachother-RESPECT!(For me, my Family will always be first!)No doubt abboudit!:):):)
Always wishing you well!:):):)
Carol~when you get the chance,send me the pictures,PLEASE!

Rich R.
12-14-2002, 06:46 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote TomBrooklyn:</font><hr> Need more information: Is this a girl you would consider marrying? <hr /></blockquote>
Kato, as your legal advisor, I must ask you to NOT answer this question. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

CarolNYC
12-14-2002, 07:06 AM
AHhhhhh Steve,
Dont I always say "there is a God!"
Carol~you know the payback term!:):):):)

MikeM
12-14-2002, 08:25 AM
RJ,

This sounds dangerous. Drastic action is necessary. Bundle her up and send her to Cueless Joey. You might even get a Meucci in return! /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif
MM

12-19-2002, 09:02 PM
I had read your post the other day and it reminded me of a couple or so situations. A long time ago when I was going through a divorce, I worked at a game room on base and after work, I'd stay there all night, every night, shooting pool. I met a guy there that was a pretty good pool player and we started hanging out every Friday night to shoot pool (just as friends). We always had a great time every time we went out because we both loved shooting pool (unitl he wanted to be more than friends, that is-because he had already known that I was interested in someone else). Any boyfriend I had would initially start out playing pool w/ me, but only for about a couple of times or so (going out to play pool was my idea, by the way). When I asked any of them how come they didn't want to shoot pool anymore, they'd say they only did that to "get me". I'd make it clear that I was still going to shoot pool-w/ or w/out them. It would cause problems because they knew that if I did that, I'd more than likely be playing pool w/ other guys (back then, there weren't too many female players around-not in my area anyway). I'd tell them that there was nothing to worry about because I wasn't "looking" for something-I just wanted to shoot pool. I'd tell them that they could at least come and watch, if they didn't want to play, but they usually wouldn't. Since it kept causing problems, I just would stop going out to shoot pool for even years at a time. I finally got up the nerve to go back to shooting pool again, about a couple of weeks ago. It felt really good to start doing what I had been missing for so long. I feel that you shouldn't give up what is a "part" of you for anyone because then you're not really "you" anymore. If you're girlfriend knows for a fact that she can trust you when you go out to shoot pool, and she really loves you- there shouldn't be a problem. If, on the other hand, you were with someone that didn't really trust you, but loved you-they could always go, at least to watch and "keep an eye on you" (just kidding-sort of). It's just after years and years of giving up pool and other things (for men), I feel like I've lost little pieces of myself and I don't feel like the "old me" anymore. I don't like letting that happen and don't believe people should ever let anyone make them feel like they have to give something up that makes them happy (unless of course it was going to actually hurt someone). I really hope things work out good for you and if shooting pool makes you happy, I hope you get back into it, like you really want.
Take care,
Tigger /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

Gayle in MD
12-23-2002, 08:32 AM
Hi Kato, so I take it you really care about this gal or you wouldn't be asking this question. For what it's worth, after almost forty years of marriage, (This Feb.) I can tell you this much, men set themselves up for this kind of situation. When they find a woman, and they are in the early stages of a new relationship, all they can think about is getting with their woman, and into bed. Nothing else exists. Then, after a while, when the (Ah Hem) newness wears off, they start to miss their old past-time, whatever it was, fishing, hunting, pool, golf, watching football, going out with the guys, other women, pick one, LOL. Then when they want to get away to play their game, whichever one it is, their woman feels neglected. Tell her this, "Some guys, after the newness of a relationship wears off, which is inevitable, start to miss the old hunt, for other women. Nothing else matters to them, but to go out and conquer once again, find a good looking gal and see if they can get her into bed. Now, in my case, I'm hooked on pool, and I could never allow myself to get serious with any woman who couldn't understand that and accept it. And, if she could actually get interested in the game, playing it or watching it, or had a past-time of her own that she could indulge in while I am playing pool, I would probably start hearing wedding bells." Just lay it on the line, and then if she can't see the value in your honesty, grab you cue and run to the nearest pool hall, where in fifteen minutes, you will have forgotten her name, LOL.
I don't understand why people can't see how bored they would get if they had to live their life with another person who was so dull that they had never found anything in this wide world to take an interest in other than their relationship. Because I am married to man with a great interest in life, I could survive in the woods, canoe my way back to civilization, motor my boat through a storm in the ocean, and back to the harbor, file a flight plan and land a single engine plane, just to name a few! My philosophy is this, if you don't want to end up bored with your mate, don't get involved with a boring person! People who live life just for their relationship, with no other interests, end up smothering one another out. If you want to end up with the right person, be yourself, right from the start, tell the truth, and let the chips fall where they may! OK, I'm off the soapbox! Good Luck!
Gayle in Md.

Perk
12-23-2002, 09:24 AM
Great post Gayle...

&lt;--I wonder if I would be in a relationship if I would have been upfront about EVERYTHING....

1. Enjoys Partying
2. Active Year round All Sports
3. Bowler
4. Extreme pool activist
5. Enjoy winter sports
6. Alcohol does wonders to relieve stress
7. Books are for students
8. I went to college for the party/not the degree.
9. Very active into pornography
10. Wishes I lived in Utah, as to have multiple women and people view it as OK.

Ok, maybe 9 and 10 arent true...LOL...But a relationship is like a sport/activity...to be successful, you got to practise and put forth time/effort. If you want to land a big fish, spend time on the water...If you want to runout, spend time on the felt.

&lt;--went in knee deep, and now breaking back the other interests slowly. For me, I get 2 nights a week for MY activitys (she can come if she likes). I offer her any/all the other nights, but she seems to not take them.

cheesemouse
12-23-2002, 10:10 AM
Gayle,
Your right on the money. I have follow your advice nearly to a tee. I have been honest to a fault with all the women in my life, I have been a bachelor all of it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

Kato
12-23-2002, 12:18 PM
Gayle, good points all. My SO definitely understands my need to play pool and definitely has her own interests and friends. She understands I need to hurt myself playing softball and my desire to be active in fantasy sports. She thinks my love for books is super cool. Typical of the type of women I like she's extremely independent and certainly doesn't need this guy around.

I had a talk with her shortly after we started dating and explained about the "other woman". She had this suggestion for me. "You do your thing, I'll do my thing, then we'll do our thing". She's seen me play, see's the joy I derive from it and is ok with everything. Life is good. I am good.

Kato /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Gayle in MD
12-23-2002, 07:40 PM
That's great Kato! Sounds like a good catch to me. Hope all goes well for you and your lady friend. Life is great, and it is nice to have someone to share it with, Cheesemouse, but, life is pretty damn great any way you look at it! My husband means everything to me, and I sure wouldn't want to lose him, but he knows how much I enjoy shooting pool, and because I have always encouraged him to enjoy his own interests, he does the same for me. Usually, we end up sharing everything together, but when one of us is tied up, or too tired, or whatever, the other is more than welcomed to go and enjoy alone. Trust is what keeps people together. Trust, and shared values make for lasting relationships.
Love,
Gayle in Md. /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Vagabond
12-24-2002, 07:05 AM
Howdy folks,
If I have money in the bank I stay in a nice hotel otherwise I sleep in my beat up Honda.If your wife pouts, no pool for u that day.if she does not pout then u go play pool.Women RULE and RUN our lives.Better accept it.All these intelectualizing discussions and prenuptional agreements will not give any pass to go to pool room.That is the fact.
If one accepts the facts( women run/control/rule/ men`s lives)of life, one will be happier.Do not mess with the women and give them what they want.LOL
Good Luck
Vagabond

snipershot
01-02-2003, 03:20 PM
My advice to you would be to try and get your girlfriend interested in pool, if that doesn't work, get a girlfriend that is interested in pool. I've let pool destroy more than one relationship, I kept my priorities straight, I hope you can too!

Kato
01-02-2003, 03:34 PM
Not getting rid of her. She knows what's involved with me and all the baggage I have. Besides, the women that play pool around here are awful scary.

Kato

snipershot
01-03-2003, 09:33 PM
I don't know her but she's probably got baggage that comes along with her too. It's the mall or the hall, remember that!

nAz
01-03-2003, 09:43 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Vagabond:</font><hr> Howdy folks,
If I have money in the bank I stay in a nice hotel otherwise I sleep in my beat up Honda.If your wife pouts, no pool for u that day.if she does not pout then u go play pool.Women RULE and RUN our lives.Better accept it.All these intelectualizing discussions and prenuptional agreements will not give any pass to go to pool room.That is the fact.
If one accepts the facts( women run/control/rule/ men`s lives)of life, one will be happier.Do not mess with the women and give them what they want.LOL
Good Luck
Vagabond <hr /></blockquote>

Can you say WHIPPED!!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

01-04-2003, 10:14 PM
Regarding how to get a girlfriend interested in the game:

*Don't make jokes each time when she loses - that just destroys confidence and any enthusiasm for wanting to play. Getting waxed every game and hearing "Rack'em!" all night isn't fun for anyone.

*If you see that she's not making the shot you think she should take, let her take it. Talk about it after the game or on the way home. Let her try it next time. Correcting someone before or after each shot also destroys confidence. Even though great players have the best intentions, constantly correcting a beginner has the reverse effect. If she asks for help with a shot, that's different.

*Don't rush it. What you've learned from years of playing can't be taught in a month.

Good luck hope this helps. A lot of players (even the nicest people in the world) do these things subconsciously...without ever realizing how it comes across to the other person.

Chris Cass
01-04-2003, 10:36 PM
Great post Christine. I think you just taught me a valuable lesson.

Thank you,

C.C.

Rod
01-05-2003, 02:33 AM
christine, that was a very well thought out and informative post. I may be guilty of a couple of your suggestions. It's your rack. Notice how I didn't say rack em babe. Gosh you have made me a better person allready.
Um what's the hold up rack-em were on time!!! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smirk.gif LOL Just kidding with you, good post. /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif well you gonna rack or what /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Chris Cass
01-05-2003, 09:36 AM
Hi Rod,

I'm so guilty of, You should of shot that shot. You should have went this way and others. That make me out to be the coach from hell. My son says during a match, "Dad, go help Mama." Heide, just says, "Could you get me another refill on my coke?" I got the clue when her coke was always filled. LOL

It's tough on a guy that wants to show them, what he sees but they have to get their on your own, I guess. Their both coming along fine too.

Regards,

C.C.~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Rod
01-05-2003, 11:13 AM
Hi Chris,
Yes I'm a little guilty, so I guess that makes me guilty. However I never rub it in as mentioned by christine, I was just having a little fun on the above post. We know there is usually at least 2 ways to shoot any shot. It just so happens the person chooses the wrong way. Shot selection and all is another area. I guess they have to learn the hard way sometimes and I know I sure did and still do on occasion. Mine is more of I know before hand and still opt for a risky shot, position etc. When a person is really interested in playing better they make mental notes and ask for advice. They will get there and along the way much of what you taught or told them will kick in. I had a fellow tell me the other day he was winning a lot more games because of one thing I told him. You see in the begining he took it on the light side.

With you coaching they'll learn. Just try to leave the drill seargent uniform at home! LOL

~~~ rod knows CC isn't a drill seargent

Vagabond
01-06-2003, 07:32 PM
``P#ssy whipped`` as we say in the south.BTW it is not a profane word.cheers
vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif