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01-06-2003, 07:50 PM
A Redneck Nativity!











A Redneck Nativity!






A Southern Nativity Scene:In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it.

One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quik Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets.







She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!"

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage.

Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar'." /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

Chris Cass
01-07-2003, 01:35 AM
Not trying to be insulting in anyway, but your joke sucked. You want funny? Read some classic Rackmup. That's funny.

C.C.~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Wally_in_Cincy
01-07-2003, 07:28 AM
Being a hillbilly myself I thought your joke was funny.
================================================== ======
This website has been posted here before. Warning, once you start reading it you won't want to quit. It's called:

"Redneck neighbor"

http://www.knology.net/~carlos/redneck.htm

Chris Cass
01-07-2003, 07:41 AM
Hey Wally,

I might just be a hillbilly too. I do have relations in Michigan. Although it took me many years to find out, "Narry a one" meant none. Now why wouldn't ya just say none to begin with? I might just have to ask my friend Bobby Pickel from Tennessee. He'll know and he is, my friend BTW Susan. LOL

Regards,

C.C.~~Jeff Foxworthy fan....

TomBrooklyn
01-07-2003, 09:18 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>"Redneck neighbor" <hr /></blockquote>Lol, that is one sick dude. But it's funny what some people will do.

Wally_in_Cincy
01-07-2003, 12:24 PM
My parents came up from the hills of Kentucky.

At baseball games we say "Don't hit it that-a-way, hit it over yonder"

I'll think of some more "directly" /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

9 Ball Girl
01-07-2003, 12:52 PM
When you return each other's phone calls, do you say something like "Okay, I'll give 'em a holler later". One of my coworkers is from the South and when his mom calls that's what she says. I think it's cute.

Rich R.
01-07-2003, 01:21 PM
Subject: REDNECK VASECTOMY


After having their eleventh child, an Arkansas couple decided that was enough as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin did not want to have any more children. The vet told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a cherry bomb(fireworks are legal in Arkansas) light it, put it in a beer can and then hold it up to his ear and count to ten.

The husband said, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me" said the vet. So the husband went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held it up to his ear and began to count: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could resume counting on his other hand. This procedure also works in Oklahoma, Kentucky, Alabama, Mississippi and West Virginia.

Wally_in_Cincy
01-08-2003, 07:05 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> When you return each other's phone calls, do you say something like "Okay, I'll give 'em a holler later". One of my coworkers is from the South and when his mom calls that's what she says. I think it's cute. <hr /></blockquote>

No you say "I reckon I'll call the little feller directly"

Actually a "holler" is a flat piece of land between two mountains or ridges. Remember Loretta Lynn "I never dreamed of leavin' Butcher Holler". Geez 9ballgirl...as Jethro Bodine would say "Dumb ol' city girls" /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Chris Cass
01-08-2003, 08:29 AM
HAHAHAHHA That was good Rich. LOL

C.C.

9 Ball Girl
01-08-2003, 01:44 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> Geez 9ballgirl...as Jethro Bodine would say "Dumb ol' city girls" /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif <hr /></blockquote>

Well! I've never! Humf! And I never will! Still love ya though Wally (emphasis on your name /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif )

Wendy~~who the hell is Butcher Holler?! http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/otn/confused/shrug03.gif

Vagabond
01-08-2003, 06:39 PM
Howdy folks,
If Lord willing and the creek doesn`t rise, tomorrow I am going to LIBEARY to get edcated.Cheers
vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/blush.gif

Vagabond
01-08-2003, 06:46 PM
Howdy 9 Ball girl,
one time when I came to NJ I told a classy looking lady to give me a holler.She said``I do not holler at others``I laughed to myself.By the way if u come to my holler I will welcome u with ARMPIT SERENADE, the redneck way. cheers
vagabond /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

Wally_in_Cincy
01-09-2003, 07:38 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote 9 Ball Girl:</font><hr> Wendy~~who the hell is Butcher Holler? <hr /></blockquote>

/ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Loretta Lynn is a country singer and subject of the 1980(?) biographical movie "Coal Miner's Daughter", starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones.

She grew up in Butcher Hollow in eastern Kentucky. Down there it's pronounced "Butcher Holler".

Now 'splain me somethin'. Who the heck is Nathan and why are his dogs hot? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif and how can that little Japanese feller eat 40 of them or 55 or whatever it was? /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif

9 Ball Girl
01-09-2003, 12:21 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> /ccboard/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Loretta Lynn is a country singer and subject of the 1980(?) biographical movie "Coal Miner's Daughter", starring Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones.

She grew up in Butcher Hollow in eastern Kentucky. Down there it's pronounced "Butcher Holler". <hr /></blockquote>
I know who Loretta Lynn is and Coal Miner's Daughter was good. http://www.smilies.org/basesmilies/ytong.gif

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr> Now 'splain me somethin'. Who the heck is Nathan and why are his dogs hot?<hr /></blockquote>
Just across the street from Philip's Candies stands the original Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs stand. Nathan Hanwerker and his wife Ida opened Nathan's in 1916. Today, thanks to them, the hot dog is an American tradition.

<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Wally_in_Cincy:</font><hr>/ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif and how can that little Japanese feller eat 40 of them or 55 or whatever it was? /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /ccboard/images/graemlins/tongue.gif <hr /></blockquote>
You got me on that one! http://www.smilies.org/basesmilies/spamafote.gif