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01-15-2003, 07:35 PM
Subject: Paratroopers]


One of those stories you hope your son never tells you.
A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went
though the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher
and
higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an
airplane. The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news.
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>"So, did you jump?" the father asked.
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>"Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up in the plane, and the
sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers. About a dozen men got
up and just walked out of the plane!"
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>"Is that when you jumped?" asked the father.
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>"Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to grab the other men one at a
time and throw them out the door."
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>"Did you jump then?" asked the father.
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>"I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped, and I was the last man
left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He
told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my butt."
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>"So, did you jump?"
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>"Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I grabbed onto the
door and refused to go. Finally he called over the Jump Master " BIG AL".
The Jump Master is this lean mean guy, about five-foot nine, and 150 pounds.
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>He said to e, "Boy, are you gonna jump or not?" I said, '"No, sir. I'm
too scared." So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his
Phallic organ
out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a
baseball
bat! He said, '"Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking this
little baby up your derrière."
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>"So, did you jump?" asked the father.
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>"Well, a little at first."