View Full Version : Fire Engine Chili

01-23-2003, 07:50 AM
Every year I learn to cook something different. This year I want to learn to make 4 Alarm chili and bake bread and cookies and stuff. I'd like to tackle the chili first. Anyone can make a lame ass chili and dump some jabenero (sp) sauce in there and make it hot. I wanna do it right. Anyone out there hook me up with a super solid recipe.


01-23-2003, 09:05 AM

Chili recipes are pretty personal, and the results are so tied to technique that two people can prepare the same "recipe" and arrive at different results.

I make the best chili in Texas, which makes it the best on the planet, but if I sent you the recipe you might get a less-than satisfactory result and then I'd be to blame. What I'm going to do is give you a suggestion for creating your own personal chili recipe and process:

Start by trying several of the commercial chili "kits" that are sold in grocery stores with pre-packaged ingredients. Once you determine the one you like best, then measure all of the individual ingredient packages. It's pretty easy to tell what is what in the packets. This becomes your basic "contents" recipe that you'll use as a starting point for development.

Next you begin doing the things that make your chili great. I'd start by working on the meat and the simmering times. Experiment with cut meat instead of a coarse chile grind, etc. Also using fresh tomato and onion is a worthwhile experiment, as is adding fresh or canned peppers (if desired). Next fine-tune the flavor by adjusting amounts of the other ingredients. Read cookbook recipes and make a list of things you might try adding to see if you like the flavor. If you use a corn masa thickener, I'd recommend adding it after most of the cooking is done (to avoid scorching), but still allow it to simmer long enough to remove any detectable trace of the individual ingredient. Your goal is to have a distinct and delicious overall flavor where individual contributors are indistinguishable. The only things you should be able to detect as individual ingredients are the meat and (to a much lesser extent) the peppers and onions. Some prefer to detect small bits of tomato pulp or seeds. It's personal.

Write down every detail of what you do in each batch, ingredients, amounts, when they were added, etc. Then take notes of the results each time. Expect to cook chili many times before you settle on a recipe that you think is "you". I don't mind giving out my own recipe, but I have to feed it to you first and also be certain you can follow the process. It's not something easily done over the internet.


01-23-2003, 09:18 AM
About 20 years ago on a Saturday morning I was driving south on that highway that goes down the western side of the Everglades and I happened to come across a Chile Competition at a big campsite on the left side of the road. As I was just touring without a timetable, I stopped in for a quick check of what was going on. It was early and people were just getting set up, but I was amazed at the number of groups of people there and the elaborate set ups they had. It was obvious that some people had come from quite a distance and they were all camping out and RV'g for the weekend. If you can find out who those people are and when they are getting together again, it would surely be a worthy pilgrimage for a connoisseur of fine chili.

Fred Agnir
01-23-2003, 09:24 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> Every year I learn to cook something different. This year I want to learn to make 4 Alarm chili and bake bread and cookies and stuff. I'd like to tackle the chili first. Anyone can make a lame ass chili and dump some jabenero (sp) sauce in there and make it hot. I wanna do it right. Anyone out there hook me up with a super solid recipe.

Kato <hr /></blockquote>
Although I love spicy food, I like my Chili less than "4L Lama."

That being said, the secret to good Chili is: how you mix the chocolate.

Fred &lt;~~~ and there it is.

01-23-2003, 09:29 AM
Tom, every year we have a Chilli Cookoff here locally, I've been, it's good. But something to call my own, now that's good stuff. Of course it would never be as good as Spiderman as his chili is the best in the universe.

Kato!~~~hear's no one makes chili like a Texan.

Chris Cass
01-23-2003, 12:07 PM
Excellent post.



01-23-2003, 12:18 PM
Spidey, thanks for the info, very solid. I came across a website earlier today and went through it, finding 2 seperate, distinct, recipies that I can work with. The recipe I'm making tonight will take approximately 2:45 to 3 hours to make. I'll take it from there. I am going to take your advice on the writing times and what not down for future reference. Thank you for your time and information.

I don't get to Texas much but if I get to your part of town I sure wouldn't mind eating some of your chili. That is if you don't mind.


01-23-2003, 01:08 PM
In my college English writing class, I did a research paper on how to make chili. I made a "105" on it - extra credit for bringing the teacher some of the results.

Basically, what Spiderman said.

And no beans.

01-23-2003, 01:39 PM
I know, I know, real chile is without beans. But I like beans, come on just a few? /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gif

01-23-2003, 03:22 PM
Nope, I gotta have beans. If that's not real chili then so be it.

Kato~~~just purchased 36 oz of kidney beans.

01-23-2003, 03:28 PM
Ah finally a chile conEsewer that appreciates some beans. Kato your allright no matter what CC and Voodoo says! /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif
Just stay out of crowded elevators!

01-23-2003, 03:46 PM
Katy may get the "dutch oven" treatment tomorrow. For her sake I hope not. I've purchased everything I need. I'll start cooking Friday right after work. I'm pumped.

Kato~~~ /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

9 Ball Girl
01-23-2003, 07:18 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Kato:</font><hr> Kato~~~just purchased 36 oz of kidney beans. <hr /></blockquote>

I guess we're all gonna have to stay upwind from ya! http://www.smilies.org/basesmilies/1038246397.gif

08-19-2003, 12:16 AM
The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy [censored], what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Would benefit from the addition of beans. Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting [censored]-faced from all of the beer.

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those red necks.

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge #3-- I [censored] myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava like [censored] to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?