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View Full Version : How You Leave After Losing,,,Important



Sid_Vicious
01-26-2003, 11:47 AM
I played partners the other night and my game was the proverbial Dr Jeckell and My Hyde,,,I played great before the tournament and like dog sh$t when I played partners, I WAS TERRIBLE!. It was so miserably the way my game stunk that once the tournament was over I packed up, and shot out of the door. I later found out that I had injured my partner's feelings by giving the wrong impression that I was pissed at them and their game. Next time I'll be more thoughtful, never meant to hurt any feelings, a lesson well learned...sid

Tom_In_Cincy
01-26-2003, 12:02 PM
Sid,

There is never a good reason to forget manners.

I experienced the exact same situation many years ago and still regret my actions.

It was in a Jack and Jill tournament.. and I had dogged the winning 8 ball for the hill-hill match of the finals. I was so upset.. I took my cues and left. I didn't even pick up my cash for 2nd place. That was a long time ago.. and I did learn from it.. OH.. the sorrows of a mis-spent youth

Popcorn
01-26-2003, 12:16 PM
Are you referring to Weenie Beanies old place in Virginia?

Tom_In_Cincy
01-26-2003, 12:29 PM
Sorry, never been there

L.S. Dennis
01-26-2003, 12:41 PM
Two things need always be remembered;
1. Never underestimate your opponent
2. And when you lose, ALWAYS lose graciously regardless what your inner feelings may be at that moment!

Popcorn
01-26-2003, 12:50 PM
I sometimes takes a lot to keep in your emotions in, in defeat as well as victory. There are as many bad winners as bad losers. I am curious though, why do you think you went from playing fine, to can't make a ball? When I get beat bad, it is not because I can't make a ball, it is a combination of things. I may make a few mistakes and a strong opponent will capitalize on it. Combined with his own good play he may beat me 11 to 1. We could start over though and the results may be reversed. Because I know this, I don't take it to heart, that is just the nature of competing. You should not necessarily equate winning and losing with good or bad play. I am sure you have a pretty good idea of how you really play and know you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I used to run around with a guy that was one of the best guys to have in your corner. He always would say the same thing when I was getting nervous. He would say "You know how good this guy has to play to beat you." That is an important thing to know, it can be a real source of confidence. That, one day you are a good player, one day you are a bad player, based on winning and losing will drive you nuts.

Popcorn
01-26-2003, 12:54 PM
I believe it was named Jack & jill's. Lots of action in the 70's there

Karatemom
01-26-2003, 02:15 PM
Hi Sid. I've been beat plenty of times. The ph is the last place I want to be seen after shooting terribly. The last time I played partners, I was paired up with a very good player. He always knew when I was upset about my position or lack of. Just let your friends know that it wasn't them you were angry with, but your game instead.

As for shooting well prior to the match and shooting awful during, I can't explain that one. I do that all the time!! But don't worry about your friends, I'm sure they understand.

Heide

snipershot
01-26-2003, 02:22 PM
Let your partner know that it was your game not his you were disapointed in. It can sometimes be hard to keep your emotions in check, especially when your shooting the sh$ts, it happens to everybody sooner or later.

Rod
01-26-2003, 02:46 PM
Sid,
Outside of feeling bad about what happened, which I'm sure you do. When you switch to playing partners/tournament etc it can throw off your rythm. Your not at the table as often. I know of many that have the same problem. I can myself if I get a little impatient. I have to accept the slowed down format and play within that. I don't know if that is part of the problem, just a suggestion.

Chris Cass
01-26-2003, 07:03 PM
Hi Sid,

Just give your partner a new roll of "Duct Tape" when you see him/her. Tell'em next time I get mad at myself and just walk out without saying goodbye. Hit me up the side of the head with this. After they laugh they can always use a roll of "Duct Tape." /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Regards,

C.C.~~like I've never done that in my life. No biggy....

SecaucusFats
01-26-2003, 08:22 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Sid_Vicious:</font><hr> I played partners the other night and my game was the proverbial Dr Jeckell and My Hyde,,,I played great before the tournament and like dog sh$t when I played partners, I WAS TERRIBLE!. It was so miserably the way my game stunk that once the tournament was over I packed up, and shot out of the door. I later found out that I had injured my partner's feelings by giving the wrong impression that I was pissed at them and their game. Next time I'll be more thoughtful, never meant to hurt any feelings, a lesson well learned...sid <hr /></blockquote>

I've been there and done that. Offer your friend a sincere apology along with an explanation. Resolve not to do it again and let it go.

I play in pool halls (9 ft Gold Crowns) and I also play a lot on bar boxes.

There's a fellow I occasionally play at the bar who has mistaken the game of pool for a test of manhood. He hates playing 8 ball against me because 95% of the time I will give him a severe spanking, and it pisses him off to no end.

One evening he comes into the bar as I'm playing and puts his name up on the board to challenge the winner. I won the game I was playing and now it was Mr. Testosterone's turn so he racked the balls up. Before I broke he said to me "You ain't jack s. You're just a lucky b******." I didn't let his comment get under my skin. I just proceeded to break as usual and lo and behold I made the eight on the break for an automatic win (pure luck)!

Well, I was coming around the table to shake his hand when he flung his cue like a javelin, with all his might, and smashed it into the wall at the other end of the bar. He then grabbed his coat and keys, and storms out of the place in a huff leaving behind his shattered cue ( which I found out later he had just purchased that very same day).

Needless to say, he never did shake my hand. I laughed hard and loud at his display of ignorance and lack of maturity. I decided right then and there that every time I played this guy I would put everything I have into winning and he has been on the receiving end of more run outs from me than any other player in the place. /ccboard/images/graemlins/cool.gif

Fats

bigbro6060
01-26-2003, 08:55 PM
I could never play Partners pool. I'm too demanding on myself and that would come accross negatively to a partner. I get really mad if a partner plays tactically wrong etc

Jon from MN
01-26-2003, 09:43 PM
Partners except for scotch doubles frustrates me to no end. But as far as losing and being pxxted off Arnold Palmer once said show me a good loser and I will show you a idiot. LOl Really who likes losing not Jon from Mn

Fred Agnir
01-27-2003, 07:55 AM
The measure of a champion is in his losses, not his wins.

Fred &lt;~~~ waxing philosophically

Sid_Vicious
01-27-2003, 08:12 AM
Time will tell if apologies are accepted. Thing is, once you show your a$$ it sometimes gets impossible to ever recover all of it, no matter how much you try. But as most everyone seems to agree, explain to your friends involved and learn for the next time it happens. These phylosophical events do bother me the most though, practicing pool can't resolve altered relationships with people due to slip up like this.

Thanks everyone, I've really appreciated all the replies. It's gonna be better "attitude" days from now on ;-) sid

Wally_in_Cincy
01-27-2003, 08:20 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Sid_Vicious:</font><hr>.....once you show your a$$ it sometimes gets impossible to ever recover all of it, no matter how much you try.........<hr /></blockquote>

Sid,

You worry too much. I predict your partner will have dismissed the whole affair by Friday....especially if you apologize.

Fred Agnir
01-27-2003, 08:55 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Sid_Vicious:</font><hr> Time will tell if apologies are accepted. Thing is, once you show your a$$ it sometimes gets impossible to ever recover all of it, no matter how much you try<hr /></blockquote>

Here's the thing. Your reputation is built not on a one time event, but on several recurring times. If you behave poorly over and over, then you deserve a reputation of being a sore loser. If you only did this one extremely odd and tense time, then it will go as and out-of-the-norm occurrence.

Fred

SPetty
01-27-2003, 12:56 PM
Hi Sid,

Not being personal here... I think part of the game, like others have alluded to, is learning to lose graciously. I hate the sayings about "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser". That's just stupid. Itís just a sore loserís saying to justify being a sore loser.

If everyone stormed out after they lost, pool wouldnít be a very enjoyable game for anyone, win or lose. Are the losers who stay around more of a loser because they donít storm out in a fit of anger? Just because people donít storm out after they lose, doesnít mean they donít care just as much. Most of the time it just means that theyíve learned to accept defeat as graciously as they can. Harken back to the pro women that you see on T.V. Ė the loser smiles and waves to the audience after being introduced as the loser. Can you even imagine how hard that is to do? Donít you think they want to run away?

Of course, I guess maybe those of you who are not used to losing have forgotten how to lose! hahaha /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

As for your playing partner, Iím sure theyíre over being hurt by now. A partner did that to me once Ė it felt like a hard kick in the gut. But he was nice enough to offer an apology and an explanation and I got over it.

SPetty~~~Partnerís pool is a whole different game, eh?

Fred Agnir
01-27-2003, 01:26 PM
Show me a sore loser who says "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser", and I'll show you a sore loser who probably has forgotten how to lose.

Or something like that.

01-27-2003, 01:36 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote SPetty:</font><hr> Hi Sid,

Not being personal here... I think part of the game, like others have alluded to, is learning to lose graciously. I hate the sayings about "Show me a good loser and I'll show you a loser". That's just stupid. It's just a sore losers' saying to justify being a sore loser.

If everyone stormed out after they lost, pool wouldn't be a very enjoyable game for anyone, win or lose. Are the losers who stay around more of a loser because they don't storm out in a fit of anger? Just because people don't storm out after they lose, doesn't mean they don't care just as much. Most of the time it just means that they've learned to accept defeat as graciously as they can. Harken back to the pro women that you see on T.V. the loser smiles and waves to the audience after being introduced as the loser. Can you even imagine how hard that is to do? Don't you think they want to run away?

Of course, I guess maybe those of you who are not used to losing have forgotten how to lose! hahaha /ccboard/images/graemlins/smile.gif

As for your playing partner, I'm sure they're over being hurt by now. A partner did that to me once &amp; it felt like a hard kick in the gut. But he was nice enough to offer an apology and an explanation and I got over it.

SPetty~~~Partner's pool is a whole different game, eh?
<hr /></blockquote>

I believe the original quote by Knute Rockne is "Show me a good and gracious loser and I'll show you a failure." Now the quote you used is attributed to Paul Newman around 1982. Just an observation but the former is considered to be one of the greatest football coaches of all time and the latter can be credited in some part to today's popularity of the sport we all love called billiards.

Fran Crimi
01-27-2003, 01:55 PM
Right on, SPetty! Jack Nicklaus said that of all his accomplishments, the one he was most proud of was his ability to be a gracious loser because that was the hardest of all.

Fran

Sid_Vicious
01-27-2003, 05:11 PM
SPetty...It wasn't a matter of storming out angrily, more a retreat away from embarrasment. The emotions run parallel if not directly with, seeking refuge from further mental pain, and an escape from the environment is a seemingly good first choice with all the clutter that is whirling around in the brain. You mentioned women pros on TV waving at the crowd after losing, but I remember some in tour stops who did exactly as I did, fleed the scene with obvious "near tear trama" in their faces following a blown shot or really ugly overall game they played. So you see it isn't the point I tried to make that you should be mindfull of your explosive exit routine from your dismal, personal quality of play but yet that even when you are simply escaping to get away that you should realize the other person might take it the wrong way and have hurt feelings. To them you are appearing to storm out, and that(in my case) was not where my head was at the time...sid

socrates
01-27-2003, 05:25 PM
SPetty on point.

Like the saying "How you act when you lose deterimines how long it will be until you win."