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03-04-2003, 12:13 PM
I play in a lot of tounaments in the tristate area. I am an A++++++ player. I have beat the likes of Mosconi, Greenleaf, Fisher, Strickland, Archer and Reyes. In fact, I have never lost to any of them. None of them will play me anymore because I heisted so much CHEEEESE from them.

My secret? Extasy. I take it about 1 hr before a tournament starts. During my first match, I get an overwhelming sense of calm. I begin talking to the cueball, and I can actually control it with my words. "listen mr. cueball, I love you so much. I feel bad hitting you with this stick, but after I do, could you please stop in this square inch that I'm marking on the table with this orange pen?" "Little Q" as I like to call him, always does what I say.

I've never had a problem making balls. the first time I ever held a cue (I was 3) I ran 17 consecutive racks of rotation, and that was with some off the shelf Meuci! Imagine what I could have done with a Richard Black (my fav. cue).

Anyway, I'm off topic here a little. Here's the key:

Extacy.

If you would like to buy my book entitled: "Feel Good Drugs, and Success on the Green Felt Monster" Please email me at iluvXandPool@hotmail.com

ShayneinDayton
03-04-2003, 12:58 PM
WOW!, When I was 3 I could only run 16.

<<I've never had a problem making balls. the first time I ever held a cue (I was 3) I ran 17 consecutive racks of rotation, and that was with some off the shelf Meuci! Imagine what I could have done with a Richard Black (my fav. cue).>>

Predator314
03-04-2003, 01:41 PM
Ummm....ok....whatever.

cycopath
03-04-2003, 01:44 PM
I would have thought those annoying little glowsticks would get in the way of your stroking abilty. Not to mention the Techno music....

HalSmith
03-04-2003, 02:11 PM
Isn't it a shame that mommy let their kids out of the crib at such a young age.--Smitty

Wally_in_Cincy
03-04-2003, 02:33 PM
Yeah I beat that Reyes guy too. He's a schmo.

If Doc Ellis can pitch a no-hitter on acid and David Wells can do it while still hammered from the night before??? ....nahhh it's still not a good idea.

Rod
03-04-2003, 02:38 PM
I use to be better than that! Then I lost my connection /ccboard/images/graemlins/mad.gif

03-04-2003, 03:32 PM
Dear Jason G, I am glad to hear you have beaten Greenleaf, are you aware his prime was in the 20's, and he died in the 50's, Mosconi's prime was in the 40's, he retired in l957, so I guess your now 80, to have played them, and still be
beating everyone, that is amazing. By the way, when you took estacy playing those two, the drug did not exist, Greenleaf used whiskey, Mosconi did speed. You can achieve any state of mental calm and be just as effective & duplicate what any illegal drug can do for you. You simply need to be trained in what Zen is, and what the Zone is, and how you can go in & out of the zone dead sober with no booze or drugs. This is my advice, and those using drugs to play well, I don't expect a single one of them to agree with this, or be happy with it. Trained athletes, the smart ones dont do drugs. Fast Larry Guninger

03-04-2003, 03:41 PM
Dear Jason G, son you need to get off the drugs, your mind is gone bad, you wrote that when I was three I ran 17 straight racks of rotation, I never heard Fatty tell a lie bigger than that load of BS. Sir, the world record high run at rotation is held by me, 4 racks, 60 balls, that is how hard that game is, this record has been tied by the greatest rotation player on earth, Efren Rheys. Son you need to read some books & learn a little of the history of the game before you go blowing out this wild fantasy stuff, the pbt high run at 9 ball was only 9 racks. Did you use to run on the road with Jack White or sometin like that? You would not happen to have a little proof of running the 17 racks in your crib would you, did momma catch it on her 9mm camera, or are we just supposed to take your word on it. I imagine the run ended when you tripped on your baby bottle. How many of you people out there can recall a single thing you ever did when you were 3 yrs old. Son you get my award for the biggest BS story of all time, you win hands down. Fast Larry

Predator314
03-04-2003, 03:50 PM
I hate to reply to this thread to get it bumped up, but you all should look at this guy's post history and let this thread die.

03-04-2003, 03:51 PM
deleted

03-04-2003, 03:55 PM
yea... let it die guys. It's called SARCASM, PARODY and HUMOR...... sorry it floated over some of your heads...

J--

nAz
03-04-2003, 03:57 PM
haha "flare up Larry" /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Hey Jason EXs is good i have not tried that in 3+ years, but i dont think i can play pool on that stuff. ill get too horny and start rubbing on the table eemmmmmmm Ex.

03-04-2003, 04:22 PM
Hmmm, pool and ecstasy. Never tried the combo. Might be kind of fun if I could keep my eyes from wiggling long enough to shoot. BTW, what's wrong with Old Milwakee?

SpiderMan
03-04-2003, 04:53 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Predator314:</font><hr> I hate to reply to this thread to get it bumped up, but you all should look at this guy's post history and let this thread die. <hr /></blockquote>

I dunno, Larry on Geritol is becoming more hyper than Jason on Extasy. He actually thinks Jason was serious, and that most of us believed a 3-year-old could run racks of rotation.

SpiderMan

03-04-2003, 04:57 PM
I am amazed there are people actually believing a person could run 17 sraight racks of rotation when they are 3 years old, for those who believe this, I have some land in Florida to sell you real cheap. If you cant see through this one, you are blind &amp; there is no hope for you. The problem I have is guys like this before me, and guys like this after me, keep coming along &amp; saying they jumped a cue ball over the empire state building, but you can never ever get any of them to prove a damn thing. I come along actually do things no other man can do, and prove it, by the Guinness world book of records rules, I perform them at A University in front of state govt employees held in high regard in their community, TTN filmed every record using 3 cameras, I presented the tape along with dozens of people on tape saying I did it, and with legal written afidivits
swearing a oath that I indeed do it TO THE GAMES LEADING EXPERTS,and for the last 10 years all I got out of this was to be called a liar &amp; to be grouped in with the fantasy players, those who dream up fantasy things. They actually begin to believe these things happened. This guys response is not to prove what he did, /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gifit is to jump bad on me and respond, Immma gonna play you for money and whip your butt. This is not about who is the better player, dont lose your focus here, it's about the truth, could a 3 yr old run l7 straight racks of rotation, and if you have above a 9IQ, You will realize how fantastic this thing is. As
Fatty used to say, dis thing, is un beeeee leave able.....I am not going to waste any more time on this BS. I would not have even wasted my time on this Bozo if he had not stepped on things I had actually did which really pissed me off big time. This has to be some kind of set up or trap, this guy cant really be serious. If you believe him, then run to him fast &amp; take lessons &amp; buy his new book, because he must have what you are looking for. Different strokes, for different folks. Shoot Straight, innovate, no fear &amp; never give up. I can actually say, VENI, VIDI, VICI.... Fast Larry Guninger

Barbara
03-04-2003, 05:25 PM
Jason,

Having a good Mardi Gras, are we?? /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

Barbara

03-04-2003, 05:35 PM
Look this bozo posts a message to the youth &amp; juniors of pool &amp; billiards that if you want to play great like him, go out &amp; buy illegal drugs &amp; play stoned. I am sorry, I took great offense at that, kids believe a lot of what is written on this board, and a message like that, in fun, or being totally serious, should never occur. Estacy is a dangerous drug, hundreds of kids have died on it, ask any doctor. I have a very strong anti drug message to the youth of pool when I show before them. Dear spiderman, dude, you found out about my Geritol, that was my secret to becoming the most powerful pool player on the planet, I got rid of my tired blood. Do you realize that was one of the biggest BS worthless things to ever hit the market, I never took one of the stupid damn things, I was too smart for that. I dont fantasyze about Vanny White, I used to hang around VW when she lived here in Atlanta, and she was a giant nobody. What ever she said about us, it aint true, I only fantasyze about my wife, maybe the 9 ball girl a little on the side when she aint arount. Yo bo zo, I dont drink old Milwaukee, I drink pinch scotch, l2 yrs old, Centaure XO Remy Martin congnac, l00 yrs old, and Cabernet Sauvignon 10 yrs old. Besides, down here we drink PBR, PABST BLUE RIBBON, or Buds. As old fatty used to say, dis dare thing is un beeeee leave able, I ran 17 straight racks of rotation stoned &amp; strung out when I wuz 3 yrs old, the run ended when mommie burped me, if she had left me alone I would still be on the run, ah yes indeed. Willie Mosss scone E, dat bum could not run 3 balls....This is the kind of crap that actually killed the game people. Fast Larry Guninger

TheFish
03-04-2003, 07:52 PM
Not to take the side of the enemy, but i thought it was quite a funny post. It was an obvious post of sarcasm and humor...I gotta admit it was one of the funnier posts i have read on any forum.

HIm talking to the ball and asking it to stop anywhere..thats very funny:) hehehe

i should think almost anyone could spot this....?

03-04-2003, 08:12 PM
I thought is was about as much fun as seeing some one yell fire in a movie theatre. When no one responded, I thought you guys were taking the hook, bait, sinker &amp; bobber down to the bottom of the lake. Old Fast was trying to save you, and you did not need to be saved. If somebody would have told me this bozo needed a keeper and should be behind bars at the Atlanta zoo, it would have saved me a lot of stress. Maybe I do have tired blood, maybe I will check out one of those Geritol pills, could not hurt.
Fast Larry

Irish
03-04-2003, 11:24 PM
Umm, Larry.... He was joking man. Noone believes the stories or were even supposed to. It was satire, calm your nerves man, try that zen thing you were talking about, go to your peaceful place.

Irish
Winner of the 1846 World 9-ball championships, thanks to the sponser of the event Sony.

Icon of Sin
03-05-2003, 06:50 AM
[ QUOTE ]
"listen mr. cueball, I love you so much. I feel bad hitting you with this stick, but after I do, could you please stop in this square inch that I'm marking on the table with this orange pen?" <hr /></blockquote>

I love that part, this had to be one of the funniest posts I have seen here.

03-05-2003, 08:42 AM
Wow.... very rough Fat Tuesday for me...

I dropped my pants for some beads in Times Square. I thought that was customary. It's not. Now Im on pathetic city guys gone wild II.

Deeman
03-05-2003, 09:23 AM
Jason,

You had us all hook, line and sinker...Until you said you did all this with a Meuci!

Dee

Eric.
03-05-2003, 01:42 PM
Don't be too embarrassed, Larry. Everybody makes mistakes. After all, nobody knows everything, right? Everyone can be taught something once in awhile, right?


Eric &gt;always learning something

Vicki
03-05-2003, 02:12 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Fast Larry:</font><hr> I am amazed there are people actually believing a person could run 17 sraight racks of rotation when they are 3 years old, for those who believe this, I have some land in Florida to sell you real cheap. If you cant see through this one, you are blind &amp; there is no hope for you. <hr /></blockquote>

It's like they say, "There's one in every group." And if you don't think there is, then it's YOU.

Vicki

Gerry
03-06-2003, 10:19 AM
While were on the subject...

"Standing in front of the CCB" Hi, My names Gerry and I talk to the Cueball. It started early in my career as a cueist with maybe a little wink at whitey or a thanks for not hooking me behind that 7-ball. It was only at tournaments or on the weekend at first, but then exploded after a while into full on conversational binges that went on for racks!. My friends and family tried to get me help when they saw me slipping downtown to the bad neighborhood poolroom to get my fix,but I just had to hit rock bottom myself!. I knew I was there when I sold everything I had,and purchased 3870 sweet, pure white little round red dot cueballs, and sat in my closet for 3 weeks chatting with them like Tom Hanks in that Castaway movie.... I feel so much better now that you all know my hell. I'm recovering now after seeing my life going to hell, but if you see me at a tourny and my lips are moving at thte table, or you can't find your cueball and I have a bulge in my case pocket, help a brother out and get me to a CBTA (cue ball talkers annonymous)meeting. Thanx....G /ccboard/images/graemlins/grin.gif

CRATER59
03-06-2003, 11:58 AM
To Larry Guninger,
I would like you to offer valid proof, available to be downloaded right from this site, by anyone on this board, that you have done any of the things you claim to have done. Until then, I would like you to refrain from making any more outlandish claims to supposed runs, victories scores, etc. Also,please refrain from passing judgement on every posters thoughts and ideas about the game. You are taking up valuable space and time with your hulabaloo.

Thank You.
JL

snipershot
03-06-2003, 12:22 PM
I read your post and was about to cuss you out and call you some not so nice names, I thought you might actually be serious because I thought you migh be on ectasy when you posted it.

griffith_d
03-06-2003, 12:32 PM
Ok people, this post seemed to be in fun(maybe), but it is far fetched and boasting and he was probably having accidents in his pants when I was playing pool and having sex,...but, let this die.

Fast Larry, some of your comments on this thread are a little out there and probably given a little too seriously, but that is ok, I know you have been around awhile and have a lot of knowledge,...but let it go.

Griff

Holly
03-06-2003, 12:45 PM
I hope you are not being serious. I pray that you really don't rely on drugs to get through life or to increase your game. What seems to be wonderful and beneficial initially can and will destroy you, physically, mentally, and emotionally. While I personally am no saint, god knows those who know me personally know that - narcotics only end in three results, either a person quits and learns to live in a healthy way, they burn out and lead a horrible half an existance or they die. Real simple. Don't delude yourself. I did for way too long and it almost killed me a couple of times, I would not want to see that happen to you or anyone else. Trust me the use of narcodics to make you seemingly more alert, more responsive or more than you already think you are is a falicy and eventually will turn on you. Then all you have left is an empty bank account and a ragged out mind, body and soul.

03-06-2003, 03:07 PM
What I say about pool players is they have met the enemy &amp; it is them...
Dear Mr. Irish, why did I not use my Zen, dude, this guy messed with my wa bad, you dont mess with my wa, Zen does not cover bozo's, it just help's you keep from killing them with your bare hands. Zen helps you chill. Then you see it from another perspective, you will send Wonder Dog in to kill the dude. Just kidding of course, see I can kid too.


Dear Eric Addict, do I make mistakes, I made no mistake to jump on this bozo fast &amp; expose him before somebody did take him serious &amp; believe him. I stand by that, I do not apologize for that. Some kid might have thought this was for real &amp; doing illegal estacy was the way to play pool. My mission in life is to council the junior players of this game, they are pool's future, and I teach play with your mind, don't play with drugs. If any one comes along &amp; gives a play with drugs is cool dude in jest, or in serious light, I am going to stand my ground &amp; present a 2nd point of view. Last night a commercial came on prime time TV, it showed a beautiful blond teenager, then the two nice looking parents holding each other in their arms, and they began to talk &amp; describe how their beautiful daughter went out to dance &amp; to be cool, took estacy, and is now dead. They began to weep &amp; cry, I am telling you it broke my heart in two to listen to them, the mother said, Estacy killed my beautiful daughter, and it also killed my life at the same time. Yes, I hold firm on what I said.

There have been several BS artistis that went around pool for decades blowing out crap like this and got by with it, because they saw others do it &amp; get by with it, MF, JW, PG, are 3 such examples....

Sir you seem to infer I do not make mistakes, sir, I have pencils all over da joint, every one has an eraser on the end. I make several mistakes every day, and I try to admit when I do, to correct that error if possible, and to learn from that mistake. Mistakes to me are opportunities. For decades I had large teams of salesmen who reported to me. Their marching orders were if you go out and make no mistakes, I will fire you, because you are just sitting on your butt covering your ass all day long. To be really good, you must take some risks, and not every risk is going to pay off. If you keep making the same mistake over &amp; over &amp; dont learn from it, I will fire you again, this time for being dumb. Sir you again infer I think I can't be taught something, from you that is surely true, or from the bozo who runs 17 racks as a baby, what can this moron ever teach me, answer, nothing. But others can &amp; do, I have had many teachers who have taught me, I have listed them in the past, do you want another list of them again?????
I learn something almost every day I teach or shoot trick shots, I am deep into the study of this game, which is why I have one of the largest book &amp; tape library in the game, and I have read and absorbed all of it. Every book that comes out I read, because I am always searching for new knowledge. I have invented more trick shots in history than any other man and more than all of my contempories in the last decade put together. I have invented 850 brand new shots. Bob Byrne has written in Billiards Digest &amp; I quote, Larry is the only person I know who could put out a trick shot book as extensive as mine, and use only the shots he invented.... I did that sir, by learning something new, every day. I did a lesson yesterday for a apa 3 male, who has been to a big time 9 ball pro, and to a big name BCA instructor, both have taught this guy. I began to question him &amp; found out he wears his watch on his right hand, but does everything else in life lefthanded, throw a cue in his face, he will catch it in his left hand.
He was tested and is right eyed dominate and the two other teachers had him playing with the cue aligned directly down his nose between his two eyes playing right handed.
I asked him to play left handed, and when he did, he immediately aligned dead over his right eye, shooting left handed. I allowed him to continue to play right handed &amp; had him now shoot off of his right eye, and immediately his ball potting skills had an alarming jump up in performance. His main complaint was he could not make long cuts or long straight in shots, I solved both of his problems. These guys missed it, I caught it, &amp; the reward is this guy will go from a 3 to a 5 over night. What I learned, is when I get another guy who is this unusual, this one was my first, I will spot it, and save him also. Play off of the wrong eye, or out of focus, you will play like a dog all of your life. You see, everything I say now I get into trouble on, Wonder Dog just trotted out of the room in a huff.

Fast is taught new things every day, by somebody, or something. I live my life by the Aristotle method, that the only thing that I really know, is that I now know, absolutely nothing and the more Knowledge I acquire, the more I know that is true.
Dear Deeman newbie, you said you knew it was a con when he said he ran 17 racks with a.... you mis spelled Meucci. Dude, had he said Meucci, I might have began to buy into this, I play with a power piston Meucci, so does Rempe, so does Loree Jon Jones. Would you like me to list for you all of the world champions and hall of famers who have played the Meucci cue, it's damm near the hall of fame of pool in the last couple of decades. But he used a Richard Black cue, right, Richard was not making cues back then, he was a stock broker, a business man. I love this guy Richard, he is so cool, and his cues are beautiful &amp; sought out &amp; admired all over the world. Ok don't shoot the messenger here, I only now report what I hear, and it is that is the cue every one collects, but no top player ever uses in a championship. Now I am sure somebody has won with one that I dont know about, so this is not a knock at Richard, I just wish I could have the money to add to my collection some of his fantastic high end models, they make my mouth water just looking at them. Best Wishes, Fast Larry

03-06-2003, 03:17 PM
This is TOO funny to me. I can't believe anyone would take that post seriously. I personally had two chimpanzees claim to have understood that post as a joke.

Grandpa Fast Larry, you need a touch more oxygen to your brain. The satire was based on some of your REAL posts.

The joke's on you my friend

Eric.
03-06-2003, 05:46 PM
Have you ever heard the expression "Not the sharpest knife in the drawer"?


Eric

03-06-2003, 06:48 PM
Dear Jason, yo bozo, you're one sick puppy, go get help, the jokes on you S*** for brains. Fast Larry

03-06-2003, 07:05 PM
Dear Eric da addict, who also lives with da Bozo, are you two faggots sweeties or sometin, did he ask you to jump in &amp; try to help him out here. You post a tribute to drugs &amp; your name is addict, let me see, I aint da sharpest knife in da kitchen , but even me can figure dis one out. I'll be in NYc after the Hopkins, maybe I'll drop in on use two at the faggot bird cage saloon where you two ferries work &amp; have Max the Wonder Dog tear off your skirt of sometin like dat, don't mess with my wa, I dont like tail gunners. both of you two losers go drop dead.... Fast Larry

03-06-2003, 09:51 PM
Okay, Larry, I need to jump in here and say this. I notice that you've often been referring to people by their post count level on this board as if it is part of their actual name.

Look under your own name to the left on one of your posts, Larry. You see that it says member. When you first joined the board, it read stranger then after about 10 posts or so it changed to newbie. See mine? I'm a member, just like you. We became a member when we reached 100 posts. addict is just another level that you graduate to on this board. Some others you'll see are enthusiast, journeyman and Pooh-Bah.

So Eric isn't claiming to be a drug addict -- that's the current posting level he's at on this board. It isn't chosen by the person who is posting, it is set automatically by this message board software.

Just thought I'd try to help out and clear that up as it appears that you haven't quite figured out how this board works.

Oh yeah, and the "homo humor" was a bit tasteless and uncalled for here.

David

qSHAFT
03-06-2003, 10:45 PM
Larry,

Your original objections to this thread was that children might come across it. Then you post this incredibly offensive material for the children to read... Nice.

griffith_d
03-07-2003, 06:56 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Fast Larry:</font><hr> Dear Jason, yo bozo, you're one sick puppy, go get help, the jokes on you S*** for brains. Fast Larry <hr /></blockquote>

Larry

Calm down, this is a message board for fun. Your impressiveness of the game can overwhelm the weak and the young,...please be careful.

Griff

Eric.
03-07-2003, 08:33 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote Fast Larry:</font><hr> Dear Eric da addict, who also lives with da Bozo, are you two faggots sweeties or sometin, did he ask you to jump in &amp; try to help him out here. You post a tribute to drugs &amp; your name is addict, let me see, I aint da sharpest knife in da kitchen , but even me can figure dis one out. I'll be in NYc after the Hopkins, maybe I'll drop in on use two at the faggot bird cage saloon where you two ferries work &amp; have Max the Wonder Dog tear off your skirt of sometin like dat, don't mess with my wa, I dont like tail gunners. both of you two losers go drop dead.... Fast Larry <hr /></blockquote>

Larry(I'm laughing at you),

As usual you are showing everyone what a class act you are.

I thank you for your threats and insults. You are truly a pillar of society.

Since you have taken a special interest in finding me, let me make it convenient for you. I will be in Valley Forge and will find YOU, to intro myself. Feel free to let me know what a 'faggot' I am at that time. I would be most interested in hearing your views in person.

Eric &gt;not interested in Larry's little 'wa'

Deeman
03-07-2003, 09:27 AM
"Dear Deeman newbie, you said you knew it was a con when he said he ran 17 racks with a.... you mis spelled Meucci. Dude, had he said Meucci, I might have began to buy into this, I play with a power piston Meucci, so does Rempe, so does Loree Jon Jones."

Fast Larry:

It may have escaped that steel trap mind of your's that I may have mis-spelled Meucci because Eric mis-spelled it in his original post. Even though my post was a lightly veiled attempt at a little levity, I might point out that I have known Bob Meucci since I worked for him in Memphis almost 30 years ago, before he changed the pronounciation of his name, before the inlays started popping out of his world class cues and even before he stopped returning the phone calls of customers complaining about his product!

I might point out, as well, that none of the players you mentioned in your rendition of Meucci stick owners have been exactly tearing up the pool world as of late, not even you. Did it ever occur to you that Richard Black, a custom cue maker, not a production cue maker, may not pay people to play with his cue? I just don't recall any player endorsement deals for Black Cues, do you? Is a Cuetek one of the best cues out there? It must be if player contracts or tournament championships are a good measure!

Lastly, Yesterday, you took a level three and turned him into a level 5 by today! That is truly amazing as I have never seen a person jump two APA levels in one day or session. /ccboard/images/graemlins/confused.gifYou are, in fact, a truely gifted insturctor and it is a shame that all these know nothing BCA guys don't just give up and leave all the instruction to you.

Eric, you may have to stand in line at Valley Forge to get a shot at this guy!

Dee /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Stretch
03-07-2003, 12:04 PM
Carefull Eric, Lare might sick the wonder dog on you. lol Rumour has it that the dog is very unpredictable. He was last seen at an event sitting at the bar ordering a pile of Scotch and toilet water. Hasn't been quite the same since suffering all those concusions you know. Seems the toilet seat at home kept droping on his head.

After one such session Lare mistakenly started his wonder dog show by hoisting it up on a table and yelling "Speek!" There was a lengthy pause after "Bow", while it tryed to remember "Wow". St ~~which was my reaction at seeing Larry's crazy side, Wow.~~