nAz
03-06-2003, 03:52 PM
here are some funny ass quotes...
Homer: I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor. [7G03]
Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. [7G03]
Homer: You can't depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us. [7G03]
Homer: When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! [7G04]
Homer: Now, remember! As far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family. [7G04]
Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...[7G05]
Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. [7G05]
Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions.
Bart: Yeah, among other things, apes can't get into heaven.
Homer: What? Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible. Who told you that?
Bart: Our teacher.
***Homer: I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us? Who roller-skate and smoke cigars? [7G07]
Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
Bart: Like, sometimes, you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad, so other kids will like you better?
Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
Bart: No.
Homer: Are you!
Bart: No!
Homer: Then run along, you little scamp! [7G07]
Homer: Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one! [7F07]
Homer: And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. [7F07]
Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! [7F08]
Homer: Hey Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Flanders: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt. [7F08]
Homer: You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ... [7F09]
Homer: Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. [7F10]
Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. [7F11]
Homer: Dear God, just give me one channel! [7F12]
Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English!
Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England. [7F12]
Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.
Marge: Mmm... [7F14]
Homer: Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college. [7F16]
Homer: Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand! [7F19]
Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out. [7F21]
Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different... [7F24]
***Homer: Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh. [8F01]
Marge: I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I think they're criminals.
Homer: A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal. [8F03]
Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine. [8F04]
Homer: I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor. [7G03]
Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. [7G03]
Homer: You can't depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us. [7G03]
Homer: When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! [7G04]
Homer: Now, remember! As far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family. [7G04]
Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...[7G05]
Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. [7G05]
Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions.
Bart: Yeah, among other things, apes can't get into heaven.
Homer: What? Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible. Who told you that?
Bart: Our teacher.
***Homer: I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us? Who roller-skate and smoke cigars? [7G07]
Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
Bart: Like, sometimes, you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad, so other kids will like you better?
Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
Bart: No.
Homer: Are you!
Bart: No!
Homer: Then run along, you little scamp! [7G07]
Homer: Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one! [7F07]
Homer: And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. [7F07]
Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! [7F08]
Homer: Hey Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Flanders: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt. [7F08]
Homer: You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ... [7F09]
Homer: Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. [7F10]
Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. [7F11]
Homer: Dear God, just give me one channel! [7F12]
Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English!
Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England. [7F12]
Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.
Marge: Mmm... [7F14]
Homer: Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college. [7F16]
Homer: Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand! [7F19]
Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out. [7F21]
Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different... [7F24]
***Homer: Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh. [8F01]
Marge: I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I think they're criminals.
Homer: A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal. [8F03]
Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine. [8F04]