View Full Version : Just thinking of the Simpsons

03-06-2003, 04:52 PM
here are some funny ass quotes...

Homer: I'm no supervising technician, I'm a technical supervisor. [7G03]

Homer: Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. [7G03]

Homer: You can't depend on me all your life. You have to learn that there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us. [7G03]

Homer: When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! [7G04]

Homer: Now, remember! As far as anyone knows, we're a nice, normal family. [7G04]

Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man. Let's see. Don't tattle. Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do. What else...[7G05]

Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. [7G05]

Marge: Lisa, Bart, what did you two learn in Sunday School today?
Lisa: The answers to deep theological questions.
Bart: Yeah, among other things, apes can't get into heaven.
Homer: What? Those cute little monkeys? That's terrible. Who told you that?
Bart: Our teacher.
***Homer: I can understand how they wouldn't let in those wild jungle apes, but what about those really smart ones who live among us? Who roller-skate and smoke cigars? [7G07]

Bart: I was wondering. How important is it to be popular?
Homer: I'm glad you asked, son. Being popular is the most important thing in the world!
Bart: Like, sometimes, you could do stuff that you think is pretty bad, so other kids will like you better?
Homer: You're not talking about killing anyone, are you?
Bart: No.
Homer: Are you!
Bart: No!
Homer: Then run along, you little scamp! [7G07]

Homer: Operator, give me the number for nine-one-one! [7F07]

Homer: And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is just a pipe dream. [7F07]

Homer: Because sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves! [7F08]

Homer: Hey Flanders, it's no use praying. I already did the same thing, and we can't both win.
Flanders: Actually, Simpson, we were praying that no one gets hurt. [7F08]

Homer: You heard me, I won't be in for the rest of the week. ... I told you! My baby beat me up! ... No, it is not the worst excuse I ever thought up. ... [7F09]

Homer: Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. [7F10]

Homer: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. [7F11]

Homer: Dear God, just give me one channel! [7F12]

Barney: Hey, Homer, you're late for English!
Homer: Pffft, English. Who needs that. I'm never going to England. [7F12]

Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven't had a single fire.
Marge: Mmm... [7F14]

Homer: Quiet you kids. If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch cartoons, and Lisa doesn't get to go to college. [7F16]

Homer: Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand! [7F19]

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you. I was twice your age before I figured that out. [7F21]

Homer: Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different... [7F24]

***Homer: Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh. [8F01]

Marge: I'm not sure about the people Bart's working for. I think they're criminals.
Homer: A job's a job. I mean, take me. If my plant pollutes the water and poisons the town, by your logic, that would make me a criminal. [8F03]

Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs, factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine. [8F04]

03-08-2003, 02:19 PM
Homer never fails to make Simpsons fans laugh their ass off.
He also invented the word "doh" which has pretty much became part of the english language.

03-08-2003, 06:30 PM
It's a great show. It has stayed top notch all these years. The only people who dont like it are the ones who never saw it because its a "cartoon"

03-10-2003, 05:03 PM
Did any one see Sundays episode? man it was funny.i like the part that Krusty(Rep) was on Fox news channel debating his opponent(Demo) how the news casters favored him so openly and kept dissin his opponent and the lines that were running along the ticket tape were also hilarious. Great show!

03-10-2003, 05:16 PM
Yeah I love sundays King of the Hill, The Simpsons, Malcom in the Middle and Oliver Bean. That Oliver Bean was funny. "relax baby let em breath"