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View Full Version : To all female players: Handling Mr. Tips



03-19-2002, 01:25 PM
You are a good if not the best player at your favorite pool/barroom. You can beat most of the guys there on your worst day.
Your looking over the table for a shot.

Suddenly, Mr.Tips appears at your side. You're familiar with him. He's a nice guy, but he says " If you take that three in the corner nice n easy, you'll be lined up for the six". This is sometimes a dilemma for some women because politely accepting advice encourages more advice. Also, rejecting friendly advice from friends could seem offensive<FORM METHOD=POST ACTION="http://www.billiardsdigest.com/ccboard/dopoll.php"><INPUT TYPE=HIDDEN NAME="pollname" VALUE="1016565940ballbreaker1">


What do you do with Mr.Tips' advice?

<INPUT TYPE=RADIO NAME=option VALUE="1">Politely take a look at Mr.Tips shot and maybe take it and say thank you?
<INPUT TYPE=RADIO NAME=option VALUE="2">Show Mr.Tips that you reject his unsolicited advice by taking a different shot?

Chris Cass
03-19-2002, 01:49 PM
Hey Bobby,
First I don't see a results thing on your post. Second, most of the women here would take one look at the guy and put him in the battroom. LOL

Regards,
C.C.

CarolNYC
03-19-2002, 02:07 PM
Hey Chris,
Your the one main man I wanted to meet-next year? As for the answer to the question, I'd ask "Player, WHAT IS YOUR MALFUNCTION?" ha ha ha
have a nice day-missed you!
Carol

Doctor_D
03-19-2002, 02:25 PM
Good afternoon:

I would bluntly inform Mr. Tips to mind his own damn business and get lost.

Dr. D.

cheesemouse
03-19-2002, 02:36 PM
I would politely inform the gentleman that I was paying good money to butcher this out all on my own, thank-you very much
http://www.chinfo.navy.mil/navpalib/images/tr-csbail.gif

Chris Cass
03-19-2002, 02:48 PM
Why Dr.D.,
I though you were a bit of a push over.LOL
Regards,
C.C.

Chris Cass
03-19-2002, 02:50 PM
Hi Carol,
Can't wait to meet you either.
My best,
C.C.~~likes purple hair too.

03-19-2002, 03:30 PM
I don't see why this situation had to be put into a genderism framework.

There are plenty of idiots in all poolrooms who offer unsolicited advice to better players. Their suggestions are given to men and women alike. To assume that women should react differently to this than men is absurd.

This is an equal-opportunity offense.

- Steve

03-19-2002, 03:44 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Steve_Lipsky:</font><hr> I don't see why this situation had to be put into a genderism framework.

There are plenty of idiots in all poolrooms who offer unsolicited advice to better players. Their suggestions are given to men and women alike. To assume that women should react differently to this than men is absurd.

This is an equal-opportunity offense.

- Steve <hr></blockquote>

Hi Steve,

For the sake of argument, I think Moron is a gender-neutral term!

Chris Cass
03-19-2002, 03:52 PM
Oh,
I don't know about that Steve. If someone say's something to me about shooting a shot. I have two replies, one being if their advice is meaningful I'll say thank you. If not I'll say, thanks now go sit down. Unless you wanta play some. LOL

Men don't have the kind of patients then women do and that's in there jeans. Or is it gene's?lol
Regards,
C.C.~~likes Steve's bridge, knows he plays well.

PoolFan
03-19-2002, 04:27 PM
If you don't want advise, politely tell him so. Are you insulted that a lesser player gave you advise or is it that you never want to receive advise?

If your favorite pro player came to give you advise, would you feel different about getting advise?

Unsolicited advise can be annoying, but don't turn away a fresh point a view. Buddy Hall told me once that sometimes the best advise he's received came from fans. He said that they watched his game so much, they could pick out what he was doing wrong. My point is, don't turn away advise that can be good advise, just because the guy is a nit.

03-19-2002, 05:07 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote:</font><hr>
If you don't want advise, politely tell him so. Are you insulted that a lesser player gave you advise or is it that you never want to receive advise?

If your favorite pro player came to give you advise, would you feel different about getting advise?

Unsolicited advise can be annoying, but don't turn away a fresh point a view....
<hr></blockquote>

I could be wrong, but I think the point is that it isn't so much friendly advice that's being tossed out, but rather a "line." (hence the afoementioned gender framework)

TomBrooklyn
03-19-2002, 05:11 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: ballbreaker1:</font><hr> Suddenly, Mr.Tips appears at your side. You're familiar with him. He's a nice guy, but he says " If you take that three in the corner nice n easy, you'll be lined up for the six". This is sometimes a dilemma for some women because politely accepting advice encourages more advice. Also, rejecting friendly advice from friends could seem offensive.<hr></blockquote>The socially savvy women may handle this situation in a variety of ways. Her response will depend on whether she likes the advice or not, wants advice or not, would like to get advice but at some other time, would like the guy to leave or stick around, or would like to practice alone now, but let him know she's available for dinner later.

Generally the smart cosmopolitan cutie will be honest without being cynical, self assured without being cocky, and assertive without being nasty. She should just say what she thinks, speaking clearly in a pleasant tone of voice, and show respect to the other individual without being obsequious or condesending. She should have no trouble getting her feelings across and leave Mr. Tips with a pleasant feeling about the encounter whether she wants to be left alone or not.

PoolFan
03-19-2002, 05:23 PM
TomBrooklyn,

Your response was very well put.

03-19-2002, 05:56 PM
Are there any women who, at one time or another, have NOT had a guy approach her (during a game) to clue her in on the smartest shot to take?

How many men here can remember the last time a women appeared next to them in the middle of a game to say something like "Now if you hit that blue striped one in that pocket right over there...you could hit the red striped one in this pocket next"?

It is a gender thing.

Great opinions here!

Bobby

jjinfla
03-19-2002, 06:46 PM
More than likely the guy giving advice is just probably trying to impress whoever is sitting next to him. If you play it the way he suggests, whether or not you had planned to do so anyway, he comes out the BIG MAN. If you don't want advice just tell him "no coaching allowed, you don't want to get me disquallified, do you?" Then you can watch him slink into his little hole. But sometimes advice is helpful. The last tournament I was in my opponent scratched on the break leaving the 9 in the jaws and I was looking to see if I could get the 1 past the 6 to make the 9 and my opponent says "1 in the corner, 2 into the 9". I started laughing, because I didn't get there yet. As he was racking he said, "you saw that, didn't you?" I laughed again and said "yeah". LOL Jake~~~came in 2nd too.

03-19-2002, 11:30 PM
i am only half decent at pool BECAUSE a guy leaned over and mentioned to me in a very POLITE way that i suck, and it was then i learned....advice from anyone, moron or not, is still advice and it comes from a good place and everytime someone says that to me, i silently bite my tongue and remember that if it wasn't for nosey people i would probably STILL SUCK. on occasion ill ask them if they want to gamble and then we can see how MUCH they think I DON"T KNOW. hehe....just my opinion, sometimes, its just guys DUMB way to hit on you too.......(GIRLS) sometimes depending on the guy u can let things like that slide, other then that......give him the eight and walk all over him......thanks see ya!

03-19-2002, 11:45 PM
Hmmm, is Mr. Tips hot? Just curious.......LOL

Nostroke
03-19-2002, 11:59 PM
tell him you hadnt decided the shot yet and now that he told you , you have to eliminate that shot because you are trying to this on your own.

cheesemouse
03-20-2002, 12:16 AM
Lorri,
Meet Mr. Tips
http://www.animation-station.com/anigifs/anim0357.gif

Ralph S.
03-20-2002, 12:28 AM
Hi, I would like to respond by saying that in my opinion, any advice good or bad, can always be listened to. It just depends on one's open-mindedness as to wether they want to consider it at all. You never know just what the advice givers capabilities are. Just a thought.
Ralph S.

CarolNYC
03-20-2002, 04:44 AM
Hi Ralph,
You are absolutely correct,but then it depends on the situation-if Im practicing and someone offers a suggestion, thats nice-but if Im actually in the middle of a game or tournament and someone says something to me, thats a malfunction:)-there have been many times I have not known what to do and asked"what do you think?" to a friend or teammate-but I dislike those players that consistently offer advice to you saying"shoulda did this or shoulda did that" ya know what I mean-and they"re usually the ones who are never playing:)-I have a problem with following-I would rather draw two cushions then follow three /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif so it depends on the situation and if I am capable of doing the advice offerred,but SOME advice is always useful!Have a nice day!
Carol

Gayle in MD
03-20-2002, 10:01 AM
Oh my goodness, we need more information regarding the conditions prevailing. Am I practicing alone, just shooting for fun, shooting in league.... need to know more. In our league, for example, it is against the rules to talk with anyone while shooting, unless time-out is called. I think that most people who offer advice, do so with all the best intentions. I am usually open to advice from anyone who isn't drunk, dirty, or trying to put their hands on me. Also, I have learned a great deal about pool by listening to advice, and I am lucky that, for some strange reason, I always seem to meet the nicest people, and they touch my heart by caring about me, and wishing to contribute to me. So if the guy is polite and nice and he is right about the shot, I would say "Wow, you're right, thanks for pointing that out, I need all the help I can get" There is one answer though that is pleasant, and seems to work well for all situations, "Thank you sir, isn't it funny how everyone sees the table differently?" Then go ahead and take the shot you like. People who come off as know it all jerks, are really very insecure, and they need our understanding and praise the most, so why not give them some? There is always a way to handle things which won't offend, and takes nothing away from you, in fact, you will probably shoot better than you would have if you give out a little happiness to someone who could use it.
Gayle in Md,

stickman
03-20-2002, 11:03 AM
And I thought I was the only one that had that problem. I can follow a ball, but extreme follow gives me a fit. I'll almost always miss the shot. I'd rather draw a ball given a choice. I guess I need to put in some more PT in this area. How a person offers advice has as much to do with how I'll react as anything. A courteous suggestion is responded to courteously. I've had lots of good advice given in league play by team members. Most often, the advice was given as another alternative and not the only alternative. The choice of shot was left to me. This kind of advice can be appreciated. I also play 9 ball ring games, race to five, for $5. I play with friends. Often after a player is done shooting, one or the other of us will ask the other player why he didn't shot a certain shot another way, or say "I thought you might have shot this way." Rude, know it all types don't fare well, whether knowledgable or not.

03-20-2002, 11:25 AM
Doc, now that's a little too blunt. You could just tell them this "Little Billy" story, and they would get the hint.
Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own @#*%ing business

03-20-2002, 11:31 AM
Funny stuff, yer 2 posts, an wait'll you get to be my age an that 5 iron turns into a 7, distance-wise

03-20-2002, 11:32 AM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Steve_Lipsky:</font><hr> There are plenty of idiots in all poolrooms who offer unsolicited advice to better players. Their suggestions are given to men and women alike...<hr></blockquote>
... but I think that women are faced with this offense more often. This may well be because women in life in general have learned to take the advice or just quietly ignore it for the sake of peace. Whereas men will often react in a hostile manner when they receive unsolicited advice. Therefore, men are more reluctant to give unsolicited advice to a another man than to a woman. Men who might be afraid of getting their cahones handed to them on a tray if they gave unsolicited advice to another guy, will freely give unsolicited advice to a woman. So while we all run into people who give us unsolicited advice, I truly do think women run into more of them.
Steve Ellis.

03-20-2002, 01:03 PM
This isn't necessarily a man/woman thing. I used to get offered unsolicited advice all the time. Now that usually doesn't happen to me, because my game has improved to where most people aren't going to come over and tell me what to do.

The problem is that MOST of the advice (yes, I said MOST) you will get from players in these situations is wrong. It has been my experience that this is almost always done not to help someone out, but rather for "Mr. Tips" to stroke his own ego. Usually REAL good players don't need to stroke their egos like this. And if the person is one of the real good players in your area, you will know who they are when they come to help.

My favorite way of dealing with "Mr. Tips" is the Samuel L. Jackson approach from "Pulp Fiction": Whip your head around, and yell "I DON'T RECALL ASKING YOU A G**D***ED THING!", then whip your head back to what you were doing, and go about your business. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

CarolNYC
03-20-2002, 02:00 PM
LMAO-NOW THATS FUNNY! And usually, being a tournament player, NO COACHING, so again, it depends on situation-in practice, if someone tells me to shoot something a certain way, I'll hand them the stick and say "Show me!" /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif
Carol

heater451
03-20-2002, 04:00 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: ballbreaker1:</font><hr> . . .he says " If you take that three in the corner nice n easy, you'll be lined up for the six". This is sometimes a dilemma for some women because politely accepting advice encourages more advice. Also, rejecting friendly advice from friends could seem offensive

&lt;p&gt;What do you do with Mr.Tips' advice?
<hr></blockquote>

Assuming that you hadn't already decided to shoot the 3-to-6 position shot, I could go with a simple, "You're right", and shoot whatever you were going to. If you were going to shoot the 3/6 shot, you could say, "Already thought of that."

I think the best way to react, is just to look the guy in the eye, and say, "Indeed." If you've ever seen the movie 'Amadeus', you'll know just how to do it.

03-20-2002, 04:50 PM
LOL...if I didn't know better...the title of this thread almost seems dirty. I would always listen politley to what someone has to say, but I might also get into a debate about what the correct shot is. I am fortunate that most of the players in my room know my skill level and will almost never give me unnecessary advice.

Melissa

Doctor_D
03-20-2002, 05:18 PM
Good evening:

PERFECT, I love it !!!

Dr. D.

CarolNYC
03-20-2002, 05:28 PM
Hey my jumping mentor /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif,
How about orange?ha ha hCant wait to meet you!Dreaming of the day!
love,
Carol

PoolFan
03-20-2002, 05:38 PM
After the Samuel L. Jackson line from "Pulp Fiction", you get the WOLF to take care of the "Mr. Tip Situation".

03-20-2002, 05:42 PM
/ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif
Yeah, that would resolve the issue REAL quick.

Of course there's always the "shoot-the-guy's-friend-in-the-chest" method (BLAM! "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration?"), but that has the drawback of spending the rest of your life in prison. Sure would shut "Mr Tips" up, though. /ccboard/images/icons/smile.gif

TomBrooklyn
03-20-2002, 06:14 PM
<blockquote><font class="small">Quote: Lorri:</font><hr> Hmmm, is Mr. Tips hot? Just curious.......LOL <hr></blockquote><font color=orange>Good question, Lorri. Many of the reponses seem to indicate that neither Mr. Tips nor his tip was welcome at any time.</font color=orange>

<font color=purple>To those that responded in this vein, what if the tipster was a player two levels or more above your own playing ability; or what if the tip guy was good looking, tastefully dressed, spoke in a pleasant baritone timbre, and was sporting a finely made cue?</font color=purple>

03-20-2002, 07:11 PM
nicely stated tom, if u refer back to my post, i clearly stated sometimes people have something lucrative to say and another point is that mr. tips maybe sporting a nicely kept southwest and jack justice case, in which case he MAY have a point! and dont' even get me started that mr. tips MAY be a good looking GREAT pool player in which case i would like to inquire more about the way he STROKES....all good points but understandably there is always THAT guy that thinks he knows everything.......more of the scenario has to be known in order for me to make an informed decision...bottomline.....

thanks!
~melissa in DE~

Chris Cass
03-21-2002, 07:31 AM
Hi Carol,
Your not going to throw an orange at me are you?
My Best,
C.C.~~I only was trying to help....LOL

Chris Cass
03-21-2002, 07:37 AM
Daa,
I just got it. Orange is cool too. It doesn't matter what's on the outside. I know what's inside.
Me too,
C.C.~~I'm slow but eventually I get it...LOLLOLLOL