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View Full Version : Help! Am I the son of God?



03-17-2003, 03:41 AM
I woke up this morning in a strange apartment, and I didn't recognize anything inside. There was no one else there, and soon I discovered I had no personal memories whatsoever. I mean, I don't know who I am, where I am from etc... Obviously I know how to read write, speak, walk, its just all the personal details of my life are not there. No matter how hard I try to remember, I keep drawing blanks.

I discovered a wallet in my back pocket. Inside the wallet was a drivers license. After looking in a mirror and comparing my face to the one on the license I have determined the drivers license to be mine. The name on the license is "Jesus Christ."

How could this be? Am I really Jesus Christ? I decided to put it to a test. I went to the kitchen and filled a glass full of water. I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could on wine, and sure enough when I opened my eyes there was a glass of Merlot!

If anyone can shed some light on my situation,there will be plenty of wine as a reward...

Thanks.

Kato
03-17-2003, 08:52 AM
Check under the bed for pods. That could be the answer.

Kato~~~checks daily.

wolfdancer
03-17-2003, 10:44 AM
There's one way to find out for sure. Have a friend take you out to the middle of a deep lake..then try walking on water....that might be just an alias on your license..you might be the son of Sam

TomBrooklyn
03-17-2003, 11:13 AM
Comment withdrawn after JP's second post. Homey don't play that game.

9 Ball Girl
03-17-2003, 12:01 PM
Can you close your eyes and PM me the next winning Lottery numbers for New York. I would greatly appreciate it. /ccboard/images/graemlins/wink.gif

Wendy~~used to get in deep doodoo when she went to church as a little girl for singing Benny Hill songs! /ccboard/images/graemlins/shocked.gif

Candyman
03-17-2003, 12:28 PM
If you are serious you need to seek professional help. If you are jerking our chain, I would suggest that you not mock God. Jesus died a terrible death for all of us sinners and we need to show him the highest respect. I would also suggest that you leave the merlot alone at 4:30 AM.

03-17-2003, 01:20 PM
After walking on water and curing several blind men(and a blind woman for the sake of diversity) I have discovered I am in fact Jesus Christ. Or at least the evidence tends to point in that direction. In that case, if I am mocking God I would only be mocking myself. What kind of God would I be if I couldn't make jokes at myself? You certainly wouldn't want to worship a deity that lacks self-esteem would you?

Amen

P.S. I hereby declare that the cross is no longer the symbol for my Christian Church. There is nothing worse than being reminded time and time again of my sacrifice for the human race. If you are going to depict me in the grips of death at least you guys could do is get my skin color right. The new symbol will be a picture of my penis. Since NAZ rated 24% on the Gay-o-meter I will request his services in helping me design the new symbol.

SpiderMan
03-17-2003, 02:04 PM

nAz
03-17-2003, 02:12 PM
Yo i scored err 24% not 25%...

ok I got a tourney to go run tonight so i don't have time right now to come up with a falic symbol.

Here's an Image for ya...

http://www.mbanthu.com/daikar3.jpg

Or a all American symbol...

http://weedguy20.tripod.com/Photos/Washington/Washington.jpg